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WINSLOW HAS SWOLLEN, UM, PARTS?

A league source tells us that the talk among the Browns is that tight end Kellen Winslow landed in the Cleveland Clinic because his balls swelled to the size of grapefruits.
(We think that technical term is testiculus coconutus.)
Actually, one explanation for the situation is a condition known as hyrdocele.  And while the condition in itself isn’t serious, it could be a symptom of testicular cancer.
And, yeah, I squirmed in my chair the entire time I typed this. 

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68 Responses to “WINSLOW HAS SWOLLEN, UM, PARTS?”
  1. yastreb says: Oct 10, 2008 12:54 PM

    I thought he was a soldier. Shouldn’t it be called Trench Crotch?

  2. mykolm says: Oct 10, 2008 12:54 PM

    If he gets a staph infection on his balls, I’m resigning as a Browns fan.

  3. The_Stig says: Oct 10, 2008 12:55 PM

    ummmmm……….YOW!!!!

  4. powerte says: Oct 10, 2008 12:56 PM

    I kinda guessed this when they were all hush hush about this illness. It was either an STD or something else groin-related.

  5. SoDev says: Oct 10, 2008 12:56 PM

    tmi, TMI…

  6. ebr362 says: Oct 10, 2008 12:56 PM

    Well with his attitude it doesn’t surprise he has a large set of, nevermind!

  7. BenjaminC.Klein says: Oct 10, 2008 12:56 PM

    We should all pray for Kellen Winslow’s balls….. let them be healthy……. and for that matter we should all pray for our own balls….. god prevent our balls from ballooning to the size of clenched fists

  8. woodyjunior says: Oct 10, 2008 12:58 PM

    I wonder what name he used when he checked himself in…
    Dave Chile…
    Steve Peru…
    Perhaps Ricky Argentina?

  9. nfldraftman says: Oct 10, 2008 12:59 PM

    I can see how that might be a tad alarming to a guy.

  10. Mr Walker says: Oct 10, 2008 1:00 PM

    I had a hydrocele… it took 2 surgeries to get it right.
    No real link to cancer, although I was real scared about it at the time.

  11. radrntn says: Oct 10, 2008 1:01 PM

    ouch, the family jewels…if it’s like grapefruit, can you squeeze them and drain em?

  12. paper_bag says: Oct 10, 2008 1:03 PM

    I really hope it isn’t testicular cancer. If not caught early enough, that can spread.

  13. alamedaman says: Oct 10, 2008 1:03 PM

    TMI, and the “related videos” on the side there were definitely NSFW

  14. zygi milf says: Oct 10, 2008 1:04 PM

    I guess the reporter who said the other day that he looked fine didn’t look below the waist.

  15. MrJJ says: Oct 10, 2008 1:04 PM

    Didnt Pacman say a Browns player grabbed his balls? Just saying…

  16. omegalh says: Oct 10, 2008 1:06 PM

    Elephantitis also swells the man jewels.

  17. jcasey says: Oct 10, 2008 1:06 PM

    Now that’s a prayer Benjamin! Hopefully God doesn’t punish you with Winslow’s disease. Even if he does, he’ll probably be laughing his ass off like the rest of us.

  18. omegalh says: Oct 10, 2008 1:07 PM

    And that is why you don’t buy viagra over the internet.

  19. armand29m says: Oct 10, 2008 1:08 PM

    While the opportunity for absurd jokes at Winslow’s benefit is simply screaming out for attention… I will pass. My dad actually had the same thing happen to him roughly fifteen years ago. It turned out he had testicular cancer, and had to go through a TON of chemo AFTER they removed the left testicle. All joking aside, I hope that Winslow is ok…
    that, and I hope he doesnt mistake one of his nuts for a grapefruit come breakfast time. Knowing how stupid this guy has been in the past, I wouldnt put it past him… wonder if he prefers his grapefruit juice freshly squeezed…. eeewwww!!!!

  20. PittPhantoms says: Oct 10, 2008 1:08 PM

    Will DA forever blame Kellen Winslow’s balls if he is replaced by Brady next week?

  21. bledsoe9mm9 says: Oct 10, 2008 1:10 PM

    would parcel’s list this as a injury?

  22. thisjrocks says: Oct 10, 2008 1:10 PM

    Yeah I had this same thing and it wasn’t fun….and it wasn’t near that swollen

  23. LL Live says: Oct 10, 2008 1:13 PM

    Back in college, waaayyy back in the day, me and a buddy had a fun time one weekend with a couple of open mined girls…I ended up having to go to the doc and get a big ol shot…my buddy kept claiming he had nothing and didn’t need to…a couple of months later he ended have to go to the hospital with…u guessed it…balls the size of grapefruit…

  24. leemuncy says: Oct 10, 2008 1:14 PM

    its pretty clear the 1st 7 comments on here from from folks who havent or havent known someone to suffer and/or die from testicular cancer.
    im as much of a nonwinslow fan that there is out here but these responses really just pretty much disgust me.
    heres hoping its nothing serious, regardless of whom it is we are talking about.

  25. NinerNation says: Oct 10, 2008 1:15 PM

    A buddy of mine had something(I have no idea what it was called), but his balls kinda like, intertwined…or something to that effect. His nuts swelled up fairly large too, and apparently he waited a week or so before going to the hospital. Well, long story short, he waited too long and had to have them removed. This is the only other time I heard of someones balls swelling to grapefruit size…sorry Kellen, hope you’re doing better than him.

  26. spyboots says: Oct 10, 2008 1:19 PM

    I hope this is benign, poor guy.

  27. Nestea1 says: Oct 10, 2008 1:20 PM

    If it’s only a hydrocele it’s no big deal. I had one 2 years ago and had surgery to get it removed. It’s benign and recovery is about one month after surgery, although a PAINFUL month it is during recovery. In case you’d like to know, I just turned 29 now.

  28. Strick says: Oct 10, 2008 1:25 PM

    Wait a minute… you mean my balls aren’t supposed to be this big?

  29. Vox Veritas says: Oct 10, 2008 1:27 PM

    Your sack can swell up if you get an infected ingrown hair on it too. Trust me on that one.

  30. paper_bag says: Oct 10, 2008 1:37 PM

    “NinerNation says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
    A buddy of mine had something(I have no idea what it was called), but his balls kinda like, intertwined…or something to that effect. His nuts swelled up fairly large too, and apparently he waited a week or so before going to the hospital. Well, long story short, he waited too long and had to have them removed. This is the only other time I heard of someones balls swelling to grapefruit size…sorry Kellen, hope you’re doing better than him. ”
    Testicular Torsion. And who says you don’t learn anything from the Venture Bros.?

  31. Vox Veritas says: Oct 10, 2008 1:40 PM

    They never figured out why everything turned to normal?

  32. Dirty_Waters says: Oct 10, 2008 1:43 PM

    Larry David and Leon Black explain.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ogdAhF-ABs

  33. JaxBearsFan says: Oct 10, 2008 1:44 PM

    Talk about a kick in the balls…

  34. enki says: Oct 10, 2008 1:52 PM

    Had a bud – happened when he had a nasty foot infection and he was given intravenous antibiotics – really strong ones.
    Balls the size of grapefruit
    Staff infection would cause the need for an aggressive antibiotic regimen

  35. Mike my Ditka says: Oct 10, 2008 1:59 PM

    He was warned to go easy on the Vampire Blood- but no, hes a soldier, he can handle it….
    True Blood HBO reference…anyone? ah, go screw yourselves.

  36. empty13 says: Oct 10, 2008 2:03 PM

    crotch rot. sounds painful.

  37. TVC15 says: Oct 10, 2008 2:06 PM

    Someone call Johnny Dangerously!

  38. zygi milf says: Oct 10, 2008 2:07 PM

    “Don’t squeeze them so hard, Brady”

  39. Nittany Munchkins says: Oct 10, 2008 2:11 PM

    If he gets out of the hospital in time, will he be allowed to play with one of the dog cones on? You know to keep him away from the infected area.

  40. drian says: Oct 10, 2008 2:18 PM

    wow… not good! he’s been released tho, so I hope he’s ok!

  41. bgman says: Oct 10, 2008 2:20 PM

    Amazing how many people posting had “friends” who had something similar happen.
    BTW, which way is it listed in the injury report?
    Winslow (illness)
    Winslow (balls)

  42. promichael says: Oct 10, 2008 2:21 PM

    Just to let all you medical jokers know the condition of
    Hydrocele is nothing more than fluid in the scrotum sac
    area. I had it at age eighteen and I’m now 55. I would
    suspect that he may miss the game on Monday because things
    in the operated area are a little tender for about a week.

  43. cunn9305 says: Oct 10, 2008 2:35 PM

    More likely is a condition called orchitis or epididymoorchitis which is essentially an infection that causes the testicles to swell. Testicular cancer would not cause swelling of both sides. You can also see this with an attack of mumps (mumps orchitis). It will be interesting to see what caused this. Hope he gets better.

  44. Pea Tear Griffin says: Oct 10, 2008 2:36 PM

    Testicular cancer is a very serious thing that affects primarily between the ages of 15 and 35, but the most risk occurs during the mid 20’s. Hopefully it’s not serious.

  45. ClevelandSucks says: Oct 10, 2008 2:44 PM

    Is that a grapefruit in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

  46. I_Hate_Yams says: Oct 10, 2008 2:46 PM

    This guy has so many things happen to him. You wonder if he’s cursed.

  47. shaunypoo says: Oct 10, 2008 2:51 PM

    I see I am not alone in having had this condition. Mine occured almost 20 years ago and didn’t get nearly as bad as his. One surgery later it was fine. I don’t like him, but hope his balls feel better.

  48. MannyCojones says: Oct 10, 2008 2:52 PM

    Kellnievel probably botched another stunt on his bike and landed on the jewels….

  49. ppdoc says: Oct 10, 2008 2:54 PM

    Most common condition causing hydrocele in an AA male of his age group is not cancer. It is epididymitis which is an infectious inflammatory condition often caused by a sexually transmitted disease. In 13 years as an urologist, I have seen one or two cases of testis ca in black men. Common things happen commonly. Epididymitis is much more common and often causes what we call a reactive hydrocele.

  50. Dr. Pancake says: Oct 10, 2008 3:19 PM

    That’s a spicy a meatball!

  51. moonbeam says: Oct 10, 2008 3:35 PM

    vox,who says your normal??

  52. jjcruiser says: Oct 10, 2008 3:37 PM

    “isn’t serious…”
    ISN’T SERIOUS? THE SIZE OF GRAPEFRUITS?
    Are you crazy? That’s pretty freakin’ serious!

  53. ralphthedog says: Oct 10, 2008 3:44 PM

    I am surviror of testicle cancer, It had spread to my lungs, I survived due to the outstanding doctor. Yes I have made jokes about being unbalanced, but I would not want to wish this on everyone. I beat it, but it wasn’t easy.
    I wish him well no matter the diagnosis.
    RTD

  54. The Jimmy says: Oct 10, 2008 3:49 PM

    I guess maybe it’s one of those things that’s funny until it happens to you or someone you care about. Not much fun when it’s you. Trust me.

  55. Rob Noxious says: Oct 10, 2008 3:52 PM

    Gotta say, I’m not sure this is “appropriate” in terms of news. I’m a little disappointed that you felt the need to report the private details of a matter like this.

  56. espy says: Oct 10, 2008 4:54 PM

    If I am not mistaken he is a soldier?
    So they must be swolen the size of handgrenades,dog

  57. Taste It says: Oct 10, 2008 5:01 PM

    yup, i had this senior year of high school into freshmen year of college…had surgery AFTER football season, don’t see why he can’t suck it up and drag his ballbag around awhile b/c he would probably miss a week after the surgery (you basically pad a jock strap and wear it around for a week or two)

  58. Vox Veritas says: Oct 10, 2008 5:06 PM

    “I don’t like him, but hope his balls feel better.”
    Better than what?

  59. screaming sheep says: Oct 10, 2008 5:06 PM

    Taco Bill please. And include Brady Quinn in the pic.

  60. ghtampa says: Oct 10, 2008 5:29 PM

    The doc said my hydrocele was due to the enormous size of my penis.

  61. shaunypoo says: Oct 10, 2008 7:07 PM

    Vox Veritas says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
    “I don’t like him, but hope his balls feel better.”
    Better than what?
    Better than the balls in your mouth, Vox.
    I had mine removed after soccer season. I actually got kicked in the nads in the middle of the season and thought I lost a ball for a minute. The doc said the hydrocele got aspirated. It came back in about a month or so. Kellen will be okay if this is all it is. He can get it drained and taken care of later.

  62. Gonads says: Oct 10, 2008 8:02 PM

    Sad Florio had to leak this out to get hits. Notice the quality sites didnt need to divulge this info. Pretty sad. Guess shock jocks will do anything to make a buck these days.

  63. wooderson says: Oct 10, 2008 8:53 PM

    Preumptive caveat: hope it’s not a serious medical condition.
    1. Can’t wait to see what Taco Bill does with this one.
    2. I always knew he was a big dick, but…
    3. It’s like a mid-90’s Mike Myers SNL skit “I’ve got gigantism of the balls..touch my monkey! TOUCH IT!!!”

  64. j2thep says: Oct 10, 2008 9:12 PM

    Kellen is going to need a bigger cup for this Monday night’s game.

  65. DawgPounder says: Oct 10, 2008 10:24 PM

    Yep, nut humor is always funny, but I’m with Rob Noxious on this one.
    Florio, you probably should have sacrificed the banner ad revenue and chosen to respect his privacy.

  66. ghtampa says: Oct 11, 2008 7:56 AM

    I made a joke, but I disagree with Gonads and Dawgpounder. I really did have a hydrocele and didn’t have any idea that it wasn’t normal for one nut to be 50% bigger than the other. It had been that way growing up and when I was 21, the doctor said I needed to get it checked out. I woke up from the surgery and felt like I had been run over by a truck. A week later I was pounding the wife again….it can lead to cancer, but not always. There are probably people on this site who’ll get checked because of Drudge’s, er Florio’s, post.

  67. Richkotite says: Oct 11, 2008 10:33 AM

    I guess they could modify a spare place-kicker helmet to use as a cup until the swelling goes down and also use him as a spokesman for ” A sack full of Krystals!”

  68. bigblue59 says: Oct 12, 2008 11:29 AM

    Is it swelling or lack of balls keeping him off the turf on Monday
    The Browns are going to get torn apart and may KW does not want to get his balls kicked in real time
    This will be another excuse you can all use for the Giants wins
    Yes we will be 5-0 with balls the size of basketballs
    Next Please

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