KING GUARANTEES LIONS WON’T GO 0-16

Peter King of Sports Illustrated said moments ago on The Dan Patrick Show that the 0-7 Lions won’t finish the season 0-16. In fact, King guarantees it. “They will play hard,” King said. “At some point, they’ll do enough good things to win a game.” He points to December visits from the Vikings and Saints to windy Ford Field (yeah, we’re beating that one into the ground like the “Hello” voice) as possible sources of that elusive (to date) first win. (We think that the best/only chance is the December 7 visit from Minnesota and its “keep it close and hope to get lucky late” approach to which we refer in these parts as “Chillyball.”) King thinks that the Bengals have a better chance of leaving the donut in the “W” column through Week Seventeen. The ingredient are there: (1) no quarterback; (2) a coach who’s being tuned out; and (3) players who don’t care.