SAINTS POOP-ON-CAR STORY CONFIRMED

Last week, we wrote that two or more unnamed Saints players expressed their displeasure with owner Tom Benson’s efforts to persuade them to buy cars by smearing excrement (presumably human) on all or some of the mini-fleet of vehicles that had been left at the team’s facility.
Jeff Duncan of the New Orleans Times Picayune reports that the story is “on the mark,” citing multiple team sources.
Duncan doesn’t name the players who are believed to be responsible for the incident.  But it should be easy to identify them, shouldn’t it?  We think that, if that many players are talking about it, it should be a breeze.
And given that the Saints hung 51 points on the Packers in their next game after dropping No. 2 on the vehicles, the time-honored concept of sports superstitions requires them to do it as long as they keep winning.

56 responses to “SAINTS POOP-ON-CAR STORY CONFIRMED

  1. “… it should be a breeze.” What are you trying to say here Florio? Or are you just beating around the “Bush”

  2. Nice play on words…I don’t see that player doing anything of the sorts. Well, if could mean that player could get released and come to Minny…If it’s the player I am thinking about.

  3. “We think that, if that many players are talking about it, it should be a breeze.”
    Is this supposed to mean Drew Brees is one of them?

  4. its too bad that dookie just got picked up, he could take deuce’s place after he gets suspended for illegal laxatives

  5. If only Dookie Davenport was signed by the Saints instead of the Steelers…Florio, just thinks of the possibilities…
    Oh, the humanity.

  6. Why was he asking them to buy cars? Benson must have owned these cars and wanted to get rid of them. I think I would just say, “no thank you.”

  7. When the Saints go marching in, watch out for flying poo.
    It’s all the more appropriate that Brees is the ‘Number 2’ candidate for MVP, which could stand for Most Valuable Pooper, I suppose…

  8. the nfl is in stiff competition with the nba to see who can turn more fans off by the actions of their thugs-i mean playas!

  9. A. Tom Benson made a lot of his money from his car lots in Texas so yes he is a car salesman.
    B. Drew Brees did not shit on anyones car (Well, maybe in high school, but not Benson’s.)
    C. It was probably some practice squad scrubs trying to get in good with the other players and Florio just likes a good shit story.

  10. What’s with the pooping in the NFL? The ‘Saints.’ Najeh D, the Dumpster, or Dumbster, take your pick. Is pooping supposed to be manly? Don’t wolves just piss to mark territory? “Smearing” the excrement is a conceptual issue here for me — does that involve spatulas or hired hands or something? If we’ve heard of two cases of Nasty Fecal Licentiousness (NFL), how many others are out there? The NFL might be a regular little poop-a-thon.

  11. frankfurtler — Benson made his fortune by owning many car dealerships. The dealership owner is always the No. 1 car salesman, hence him pushing his cars on any employee he hands a paycheck to.

  12. Whoever the culprits might have been, they’re not just right in the head, you ask me. Maybe even a bit on the stupid side. I hope they at least had the foresight to slap on a pair of rubber gloves before they commenced spreading the manure.

  13. IF they are going to damage the owner’s property they better win by 22 every game.
    i bet it was jason david. he’s the one who had the unnaturally good game!

  14. Benson owns a lot of things in new Orleans, including lots and lots of car dealerships. I once attended a “car show” at the Superdome, only to be dissapointed that it was only a large showroom for his dealers.

  15. guess this gives new meaning to the pending release of McCallister, when the Saints “Drop the Deuce”

  16. Florio,
    Time for some investigative journalism.
    Cross-reference the people who had access to the cars with those who had access to Drew Brees’s right cheek.

  17. Vincelombardi,
    Say what you want, but the NBA players are a model of class and demeanor compared to the average NFL player. Make a list of each! NBA players cause little to no legal trouble for themselees. And I am white and don’t watch basketball. Just watch sportcenter and compare!

  18. RonInCharlotte,
    Say what you want, but here is a list of some names in the NBA arrested…and this is pre-2005:
    Gilbert Arenas, Ron Artest, Kobe Bryant, Marcus Camby, Sam Cassell, Derrick Coleman, Zydrunas Illgauskas, Stephen Jackson, Jason Kidd, Jermaine O’Neal, Gary Payton, Zach Randolph, Jason Richardson, Latrell Sprewell, Rasheed Wallace, Bonzi Wells, Chris Wilcox…and those are just the big names.
    Let’s consider that there are, ohhh, about 8 or 9 players on an NFL roster for ever 1 player on an NBA roster and it starts to look pretty even. To call NBA or NFL players angels, for the most part though, even in comparison is just ridiculous.
    That’s about 18 everyday starters (that I know are starters, I left those I was unsure of out of the list) out of 150 starters in 2005. That’s 12%, and certainly not “little to no legal trouble for themselves.”
    Not going to make a list of NFL players, but if it is higher than 12% of starters I would be surprised. Not to say NFL players are angels, but it’s a much more popular league, so seeing that on SportsCenter makes sense.

  19. A new low. Hasn’t New Orleans, just in general, been through enough?
    Of course, Tom Benson would promote car defecation(s) on a regular
    basis, with the umbrella in hand, if the Nawlin Saints would “hang 51” on every
    opponent.
    Just let the used car guy move the franchise to Los Angeles, which was heavily
    rumored to be the case, pre-Katrina. I don’t know what that cures but Los Angeles
    never has enough “crap on the car” stories since I don’t know when. Have you seen
    Tony Curtis’ dental implant commercial? Defecating on autos is waaaaay better
    than Tony Curtis’ dental implant commercial.

  20. RebelMonk, don’t try to reason with RonInCharlotte, he’s an AssHat (when one’s head is so far up one’s ass that one is wearing the ass as a hat). His life and opinions are dictated by ESPN Sports Center. Ask him “how’s Mumbai doing?”, and he’ll tell you “they just took 3rd place in the Coors Classic”.

  21. Rebel. You may have a point, but I would like to see a comparison since goodell took over. Seems to me it has gotten worse while the NBA has gotten better. I really don’t watch a lot I’d SC but basketball is alive and well there. I may just do some actual research because I am curious to know.
    Ralphie, are u just trying to be a douche for douches sake? I was observing. You sound like a angry Yankee. How does my comment make me an asshat?
    Time for you to go upstairs since your mom just made u breakfast. Put on your 25 year old jets jersey and play some xbox. That would be ok if you weren’t 35.

  22. RonInCharlotte, I’m trying to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.

  23. Oh, the irony. In this Bushwacked economy, there are plenty of people who can’t afford a needed new car, or have NO car, or have to LIVE in cars – and here you have these soiled athletes crapping on cars b/c they got annoyed by an owner pimping cars to them. Loves it.
    Florio, you’re set for life: ridiculous sh*t like this will continue to happen, you’ll always have plenty of material to post on this site.

  24. Florio must really have a fices fixation between this and the Quinn story comment.
    Even though you are a lawyer Florio there is time for you to change. Get your mind out of the toilet or outhouse.

  25. rebel,
    Let me also point put that the NFL roster is 53, while the NBA roster is 15. That is 3.5 times. Not 8 or 9 times. I would say the NFL has more than four times the “incidents” than the NBA in the last 4 or five years!

  26. Chances are the Saints know exactly who pulled/pinched off this caper. There are video cameras in the players parking lot. They used them to bag Albert Connell in 2001 when he stole $3000+ dollars from Deuce McAllister’s car.

  27. RonInCharlotte,
    Don’t forget the TWO EXTRA TEAMS, which is an extra 100 players on top of that…so you can bump that number of 1 NBA player to basically 4 players in the NFL. Also, I only counted starters, which would be 5 versus 24, which is closer to 1/5. Either way, saying: “I would say the NFL has more than four times the ‘incidents’ than the NBA in the last 4 or five years” isn’t research. Before you start making these claims, do the research. Find me those 92 STARTERS charged with a crime, then I will agree the NFL is equal to the NBA (which is the case I made, anyway). However, you need to find about 180 to make a case for the NFL being much worse (10% for the NBA, 20% for the NFL). Good luck finding those 180 arrests. Just to give you an idea, the Bengals are by far the worst for arrests in the NFL with 5 different starters, meaning the highest you would possibly get, with each NFL team being equal, 160 starters. That’s already too low.
    I was just attacking your angelic NBA claims. The NBA sucks, and to say they are alive and well in the midst of an NFL arument is laughable. NBA execs have wet dreams about attaining NFL level viewership.
    I am starting to think Raphie may have a point.

  28. rebel, I didn’t attack you! Starters means nothing.
    1500 roster spots to 450. Still just about triple.
    Being a thug isn’t an arrest count. It’s incidents. I will make my point shortly. I am walking into Fulmers last game. With my rich girlfriend.
    I hate the NBA but just because it is a black sport that targets a black demographic doesn’t make it’s players a bunch of thugs.

  29. RonInCharlotte,
    Learn to read. I said I attacked you. And I was using starters numbers because I didn’t include every NBA arrest I could find because that was a LOT more than what I had listed. Either way, I don’t care that you have a rich girlfriend (which is really something only a total douchebag would say), and you made no point. I used actual, yanno, statistics to prove my point. Don’t make me out to be racist, stats are not racist, and that’s what I used.
    In short, I should have listened to Ralphie. You’re definitely an asshat.

  30. TheRebelMonk/RonInCharlotte,
    Just face it. Both the NBA and NFL have their fair share of troublemakers. The NBA did look worse due to the Pistons/Pacers fight in the stands. The NFL hasn’t looked much better due to Pacman and Henry. But in all honesty, the NFL doesn’t let fans on the field or right by the field. Just imagine what would happen if fans were on the sidelines of the NFL game?
    Comparing these two leagues in this category makes no sense because of how the leagues are operated. The NFL plays 16 games and the NBA plays 82. Obviously more people are going to watch an NFL game because of the simple rarity. Compare all the viewers and attendance and apparel from both leagues and you will find out that they are about equal with the exception of attendance. Then go ahead and compare that to baseball. The NFL will have more arrests simply because of the bigger teams. How many undocumented arrests happen on a nightly basis?
    You can’t compare these leagues because they just don’t go together.

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