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CHIEFS ANNOUNCE ASSISTANT COACHES, WITHOUT DISCLOSING THEIR SPECIFIC JOBS

The Kansas City Chiefs have temporarily pulled back the curtain, allowing a brief glimpse into the secret-to-the-point-of-bizarre world that the franchise has created since the conclusion of the 2008 season.
In fact, we think that we’ll start referring to the team as the “Emerald City Chiefs.”
Anyway, someone must have shown up with the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West, because the Wizard has coughed up some information.
Joining the coaching staff are Joel Collier, Gary Gibbs, Steve Hoffman, Bill Muir, Clancy Pendergast, Pat Perles, and Dedric Ward.
The team also announced that the following coaches have been retained:  Bob Bicknell, Joe D’Alessandris, Chan Gailey, Tim Krumrie, Brent Salazar and Cedric Smith.
The catch?  The Chiefs didn’t specify the specific positions that any of the coaches will occupy.
Last year, Bicknell was the offensive line coach, D’Alessandris was the assistant offensive line coach, Gailey was the offensive coordinator, Krumrie was the defensive line coach, Salazar was the assistant strength and conditioning coach, and Smith was the strength and conditioning coach.
In 2008, the new arrivals had the following jobs:  Collier was out of football after spending 2007 as the secondary coach in New England; Gibbs was the Saints’ defensive coordinator, Hoffman was the Dolphins’ kicking coach, Muir was the Buccaneers’ offensive coordinator/offensive line coach, Pendergast was the Cardinals’ defensive coordinator, Perles was the offensive coordinator at North Dakota State, and Ward was a quality control coach with the Cardinals.
Our semi-educated guess is that Collier will coach the defensive backs, Hoffman will coach the special teams, and Pendergast or Gibbs will work as defensive coordinator, with the other one serving as linebackers coach.
For Perles, Muir, and Ward, they presumably will have jobs on the offensive side of the ball.  Beyond that, their duties are unclear.
Attention, Chiefs — it’s OK to disclose some information.  Having a complete and total lockdown approach to even the most harmless stuff will, in our view, eventually cause many more problems than it ever solves.

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21 Responses to “CHIEFS ANNOUNCE ASSISTANT COACHES, WITHOUT DISCLOSING THEIR SPECIFIC JOBS”
  1. T Henrys B@stard Child says: Feb 17, 2009 6:37 PM

    I wouldn’t want to announce those coaches either. Quite the list of Turds.

  2. DwaredominatesAgain says: Feb 17, 2009 6:54 PM

    LAMEST ARTICLE EVER

  3. ninerfan94954 says: Feb 17, 2009 6:55 PM

    The Chiefs hope to emulate the Oakland Raiders secretive approach in the hope of finding a commitment to excellence…perhaps…where is the overhead projector?

  4. HarrisonHits says: Feb 17, 2009 7:01 PM

    One thing I love about the Belichek tree spreading around the league is that they torture the press by not letting them have any tiny piece of info they don’t have to at any given time ROFL

  5. Slow Joe says: Feb 17, 2009 7:08 PM

    Prediction: the coached won’t have specific positions. Whoever gets to work first gets to pick which position they’ll coach that day. And since it looks like they hired more coaches than positions, the last couple of coaches that get to practice will be tackling dummies.

  6. southie905 says: Feb 17, 2009 7:27 PM

    Good to see Haley’s staff full of guys with experience, and keeping Gailey was huge.

  7. FireHermNow says: Feb 17, 2009 7:33 PM

    Here’s the deal, Florio- Pioli and Haley will give you the info when they WANT to give you that info, and not until then. Better get used to it, man.

  8. killwithme says: Feb 17, 2009 7:38 PM

    it will only get old if it doesn’t work…
    if, in the second season, they aren’t winning games….this “close to the chest” way of operating is really going to piss people off.
    right now, it’s so new to KC and there was so much hatred of the previous regime, there’s no reason to knock whats going on.

  9. jbchiefs14 says: Feb 17, 2009 7:38 PM

    why would it cause problems???

  10. GeauxSaints12 says: Feb 17, 2009 7:48 PM

    Bad move to sign Gary Gibbs……..trust me he doesn’t know D…….

  11. occtown58 says: Feb 17, 2009 8:07 PM

    Clancy Pendergast most ikely will be the D-Cordinator.

  12. wtfChiefs says: Feb 17, 2009 8:15 PM

    The KGB Chiefs! Are they gonna let us know who they draft?

  13. MattWalsh says: Feb 17, 2009 8:27 PM

    Maybe some of these stiffs can get Glenn Dorsey to look better than the scrub he was last year?

  14. Matt says: Feb 17, 2009 8:43 PM

    “Attention, Chiefs — it’s OK to disclose some information. Having a complete and total lockdown approach to even the most harmless stuff will, in our view, eventually cause many more problems than it ever solves.”
    Right on, Florio! The Patriots are full of all kinds of problems…like running out of fingers on one hand to wear their Super Bowl rings.

  15. BBrophy1 says: Feb 17, 2009 9:05 PM

    They’ll go with the latest in vogue titles on offense with Bill Muir being offensive-line/running game coordinator and Chan Gailey wide-receivers/passing game coordinator with both reporting to Haley as the play caller

  16. JAXSUN says: Feb 17, 2009 9:07 PM

    Chastised if you’re anyone but Parcells in this situation.

  17. streamdeep says: Feb 17, 2009 9:22 PM

    Collier was the guy that Wannstedt promoted to OC after Norv Turner bolted for the Raiders HC job.
    He had some kind of issue and stepped down after a couple of weeks. The perception was that the stress was too much. I think that is when the fins brought in the TE coach from Baltimore to be OC during Wanny’s final season.
    The whole offseason was a train wreck. It started with Marino being hired and quitting. Then, Collier got hired and stepped down. Then Ricky “retired”. Spielman becomes the GM and had a draft class that only yielded 1 starter, Carey (they gave up a 4th to move up a couple of spots in the 1st).

  18. MarkB says: Feb 17, 2009 10:43 PM

    So now Florio is catching Sports Writer’s Disease? Next he’ll be voting against guys for the Hall of Fame because they wouldn’t talk to him.
    It’s not Pioli’s job to generate hits for your dog and pony show. His job is to win games – that’s it. A lot of sports writers – and apparently Florio – would rather see teams lose while keeping the information flowing than see teams win while keeping internal workings internal.
    Guess what fans want.

  19. Mister Green says: Feb 18, 2009 12:32 AM

    This late in the game, it looks like Haley just drew names from the unemployment line out of a hat.
    But I do think keeping Gailey was a great move. He did a splendid job last season. If it weren’t for the job he did with Tyler Thigpen and revamping the offensive scheme, it would have been bad enough in KC to make children cry. As it was, the offense kept them competitive in many games.

  20. Siefkes says: Feb 18, 2009 12:57 AM

    How about the KC.I.A instead

  21. spongemikeflorio says: Feb 18, 2009 9:57 AM

    not long ago you were praising them for the same thing…got hypocrisy?

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