CHIEFS ANNOUNCE ASSISTANT COACHES, WITHOUT DISCLOSING THEIR SPECIFIC JOBS

The Kansas City Chiefs have temporarily pulled back the curtain, allowing a brief glimpse into the secret-to-the-point-of-bizarre world that the franchise has created since the conclusion of the 2008 season. In fact, we think that we’ll start referring to the team as the “Emerald City Chiefs.” Anyway, someone must have shown up with the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West, because the Wizard has coughed up some information. Joining the coaching staff are Joel Collier, Gary Gibbs, Steve Hoffman, Bill Muir, Clancy Pendergast, Pat Perles, and Dedric Ward. The team also announced that the following coaches have been retained: Bob Bicknell, Joe D’Alessandris, Chan Gailey, Tim Krumrie, Brent Salazar and Cedric Smith. The catch? The Chiefs didn’t specify the specific positions that any of the coaches will occupy. Last year, Bicknell was the offensive line coach, D’Alessandris was the assistant offensive line coach, Gailey was the offensive coordinator, Krumrie was the defensive line coach, Salazar was the assistant strength and conditioning coach, and Smith was the strength and conditioning coach. In 2008, the new arrivals had the following jobs: Collier was out of football after spending 2007 as the secondary coach in New England; Gibbs was the Saints’ defensive coordinator, Hoffman was the Dolphins’ kicking coach, Muir was the Buccaneers’ offensive coordinator/offensive line coach, Pendergast was the Cardinals’ defensive coordinator, Perles was the offensive coordinator at North Dakota State, and Ward was a quality control coach with the Cardinals. Our semi-educated guess is that Collier will coach the defensive backs, Hoffman will coach the special teams, and Pendergast or Gibbs will work as defensive coordinator, with the other one serving as linebackers coach. For Perles, Muir, and Ward, they presumably will have jobs on the offensive side of the ball. Beyond that, their duties are unclear. Attention, Chiefs -- it’s OK to disclose some information. Having a complete and total lockdown approach to even the most harmless stuff will, in our view, eventually cause many more problems than it ever solves.