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Chad's Jersey Will Say "Ochocinco"

Sometimes, there’s an echo in here.
Usually, it’s only a matter of hours or days between the posting of one of our stories and the publication of the same thing elsewhere, without reference to the fact that we already posted it.
This time around, the echo had a lag of nearly two months.
On March 23, 2009, we reported that Chad Johnson had gotten permission to place his new legal name on the back of his jersey.  But since his legal name technically is “Ochocinco” with no space between the “Ocho” and the “Cinco,” that’s how it will appear on his jersey.
Our theory is/was/will be that Ochocinco mashed the two words into one in order to minimize the possibility that the judge who approved the name change would realize it was all a publicity stunt.
Today, the Associated Press has finally caught up, “reporting” that Johnson’s jersey will display the name “Ochocinco” on the back of it this year.

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46 Responses to “Chad's Jersey Will Say "Ochocinco"”
  1. delakern says: May 14, 2009 8:38 PM

    what a moron

  2. myusernamestinks says: May 14, 2009 8:46 PM

    Florio is correct. In a vain, whiny, look-at-me way of course, but still, I recall the article. What worries me is the claim that Chad was able to fool the judge by cleverly omitting a space between the “o” and the “c”. Aren’t most judges law school graduates?

  3. BuckFutter says: May 14, 2009 8:57 PM

    It should read “veintesiete” since a) it’s just as wrong and b) it’s the last time he was, or will be, relevant.

  4. shaunypoo says: May 14, 2009 9:07 PM

    Thank God, now we will be able to revel in the publicity stunt by the showman known as Chad Ochocinco.
    Also known as El Doucho Baggo.

  5. ScoobyDooDoo says: May 14, 2009 9:09 PM

    That jersey will look outstanding in the NFL Hall Of Shame they are building in Detroit.

  6. BradyGazelle says: May 14, 2009 9:14 PM

    I’m going to buy one for sure!!!!!

  7. NDCowboysfan says: May 14, 2009 9:21 PM

    lol ebonics in spanish… you can’t write this kinda stuff

  8. sevenirongator says: May 14, 2009 9:29 PM

    who gives a shit

  9. redbirds37 says: May 14, 2009 9:41 PM

    Ochocinco translate to “Swine Flu”

  10. Vox Veritas says: May 14, 2009 9:43 PM

    “Our theory is/was/will be that Ochocinco mashed the two words into one in order to minimize the possibility that the judge who approved the name change would realize it was all a publicity stunt.”
    People can be employed, do business, enter into contracts, sue and be sued under any name they choose according to SCOTUS (Lindon v. First National Bank 10 F. 894, Coppage v. Kansas 236 U.S. 1, In re McUlta 189 F. 250). There’s no need for a court decree to change your name. It’s an “at will” right guaranteed under the 14th Amendment.
    However, the team can put anything they want on the back of jerseys or they can put nothing at all.

  11. redbirds37 says: May 14, 2009 9:44 PM

    The back of Chad’s shirt will eventually read,
    “Department of Ohio Corrections”

  12. apeck says: May 14, 2009 9:50 PM

    If a judge couldn’t figure out that a person changing their name from the unusual last name “Johnson” to oft used “Ochocinco” and didn’t realize it was a publicity stunt, then he shouldn’t be sitting on the bench.

  13. ron_burgandy says: May 14, 2009 10:02 PM

    he should be traded to a team where the number 85 is retired so he will look like a bigger moron.

  14. whodey513 says: May 14, 2009 10:12 PM

    alot of haters in here… for all you all that don’t like chad you sure do spend alot of time talkin about him! worry bout your own team quit hatin on ours!!!

  15. roscoe99 says: May 14, 2009 10:23 PM

    the name is one word with no space so that the Bengals don’t simply put “Cinco” on the back of the jersey like any other last name
    are people always this slow in these parts?

  16. DavidInTexas says: May 14, 2009 10:28 PM

    NFL’s version of Dennis Rodman…

  17. Darth Ringo says: May 14, 2009 10:39 PM

    I wonder if they’ll mention this in the HBO special?
    Less than a million times, I mean..

  18. NeonArchie says: May 14, 2009 10:47 PM

    muchocaca

  19. schweinehund says: May 14, 2009 10:50 PM

    This idiot receiver has SOOOOOOO much talent that surfaces when he actually decides to focus on the game and not his image. Whether he wants to face the music or not, but he’s staring at the twilight of his career with TJ going back to the Northwest, and questions regarding Carson’s elbow. Then there are issues with RB, TE, and the offensive line. As a whole, the offense is a wreck, and this idiot receiver can’t seem to focus on football. How can he have an image if he’s no longer viable???

  20. ChargersFootball says: May 14, 2009 10:55 PM

    he should have done this 5 years ago when he was relevant

  21. INVAIDUH says: May 14, 2009 11:18 PM

    @/For…Vox.
    How can anyone not give it to you for doing your homework?
    Anyone? Mmmm? Mmmm?
    Funny as Hell….R. Nation.

  22. HoosierTransplantIsSirius says: May 14, 2009 11:20 PM

    My Maualuga Jersey came last week.
    Maybe he will smash the Ocho in the turf at the mandatorys
    like that one scene in Leatherheads. Classic!

  23. mborz says: May 14, 2009 11:38 PM

    roscoe99 said: “the name is one word with no space so that the Bengals don’t simply put “Cinco” on the back of the jersey like any other last name. are people always this slow in these parts?”
    Can you explain this in a little more detail for me? Apparently, I’m one of the “slow” ones you’re referring to.
    Are you saying if his last name was “Ocho Cinco” (with a space in it), then they would only put “Cinco” on his jersey?
    Here’s why I find this confusing. There are many players who have spaces in their last names. Take “Kimo Von Oelhoffen” for example. His last name is “Von Oelhoffen”, right? Do you remember what was on his jersey? It was “VON OELHOFFEN”, just like in this picture: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3625/3356601815_a1f4cca0e9.jpg

  24. redbirds37 says: May 14, 2009 11:46 PM

    Coy Bacon and Boobie Clark would be proud.

  25. Raging Clue says: May 15, 2009 12:56 AM

    Will they soon be reporting on what name Andre Smith’s agent will put on the back of his jersey? Oh, wait, it’ll be his name. The term “news” really gets stretched these days.

  26. Shackman says: May 15, 2009 1:25 AM

    Can we rate the babe in the red bikini top in the fat ad?

  27. callmecougar says: May 15, 2009 3:10 AM

    Muchohomo

  28. smiley says: May 15, 2009 6:14 AM

    Who cares.

  29. shaunypoo says: May 15, 2009 6:45 AM

    “NFL’s version of Dennis Rodman… ”
    Except Dennis brought his game every night, whereas Chad likes to pout after putting the ball on the turf while there is a scrum right behind him.

  30. shaunypoo says: May 15, 2009 6:47 AM

    whodey513 says:
    May 14th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
    alot of haters in here… for all you all that don’t like chad you sure do spend alot of time talkin about him! worry bout your own team quit hatin on ours!!!
    I’m sorry, whodey, I am always with you on posts defending our team, but you know Chad, and this isn’t about the team. He is making himself fair game for this kind of criticism. Most of the posts are pretty funny except for the mongoloids who can’t think of anything other than references to the penal system.

  31. LongLostLion says: May 15, 2009 6:51 AM

    I hope If he sucks again this year and they trade him to a team where number 85 is already taken.

  32. twindaddy says: May 15, 2009 7:08 AM

    It should say Mucho Droppo or some such variant. This douch bag shouldn’t be getting headlines either.

  33. Comfortably numb says: May 15, 2009 7:44 AM

    If I did or said some of the things this idiot receiver does, I would at least fake a stroke to cover up my stupidity.

  34. CD_Ridge says: May 15, 2009 7:53 AM

    Who is this guy?

  35. chknbn says: May 15, 2009 8:23 AM

    Ouchomystinko would have been more appropriate (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

  36. FillyFinatic says: May 15, 2009 8:32 AM

    OUCHOCRAPPO

  37. urbusted says: May 15, 2009 8:36 AM

    On March 23, 2009, we reported that Chad Johnson had gotten permission to place his new legal name on the back of his jersey. But since his legal name technically is “Ochocinco” with no space between the “Ocho” and the “Cinco,” that’s how it will appear on his jersey.
    YOU WERE also reporting that Quinn was being traded to a few teams and that Cutler was going everywhere. I also think you had Favre going to the Yankees or was it the Mets?

  38. voyager6 says: May 15, 2009 8:52 AM

    Chad’s jersey should read: “PineSitter”. I expect he will have limited snaps this year as there is plenty of WR talent. Remember most of the Bengal’s WRs went to Charles Collins’ WR camp to hone their skills. The Bengals are instituting a new playbook and Chad is nowhere to be seen. He will be behind when training camp starts and will likely be dropped down in the depth charts for motivation, if not anything else.

  39. GoPackGo_66 says: May 15, 2009 9:00 AM

    Hell, all Mike Vick has to do is change his name, he can come back as Ron Mexico. Brilliant!

  40. hayward giablommi says: May 15, 2009 9:17 AM

    Based on his performance last year, I think there’s a good chance that if we ignore him, he might just fade away. This is just another desperate publicity stunt, nothing more.
    Oh, and how about all those ESPN shills a few years ago…”he’s no TO”, “its all in good fun”, “harmless funloving Chad Johnson”. What sayeth they now?
    If Chad could just get an arrest or two under his belt he would truly represent everything thats wrong with the NFL.

  41. Vox Veritas says: May 15, 2009 9:54 AM

    “How can anyone not give it to you for doing your homework?”
    Eh, 1’s are 5’s to me. So are 5’s. Hell they’re all 5’s, I don’t need props for spreading the truth. But thanks for the mention just the same.

  42. Vox Veritas says: May 15, 2009 10:01 AM

    “Except Dennis brought his game every night”
    As one-dimensional as it was. Typical stats sheet: 14 rebounds, 2 points, 10% shooting, 5 fouls, 1 flagrant.

  43. mihan says: May 15, 2009 10:04 AM

    http://www.nflshop.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3267127&cp=716574.2237428&parentPage=family
    It doesn’t look so bad since its all in block letters.

  44. Jackson1 says: May 15, 2009 10:24 AM

    I’m sure it’s been said……….but that’s not even how you say 85 in Spanish. Stupidity now has a new name and he catches footballs for a living in Cincinnatti.
    the correct way to say it is ochenta y cinco……… what he is saying is eight five.

  45. mborz says: May 15, 2009 10:39 AM

    Vox Veritas says: “Eh, 1’s are 5’s to me.”
    This explains a lot.

  46. shaunypoo says: May 15, 2009 11:27 AM

    Vox Veritas says:
    May 15th, 2009 at 10:01 am
    “Except Dennis brought his game every night”
    As one-dimensional as it was. Typical stats sheet: 14 rebounds, 2 points, 10% shooting, 5 fouls, 1 flagrant.
    This is true, but he was incredibly consistent, and usually gave more effort than the rest of the team combined. This is the opposite of Chad. You knew what you were getting with Rodman. Chad can get 200 yds one game, and 15 yards the next. I don’t care for Rodman as a person, but he was a gamer who knew exactly what he could do and excelled at it. I respect that.

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