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Saturday Morning One-Liners

Bills CB Ashton Youboty may sit out until training camp as he heals from plantar fasciitis.
Said Dolphins G Justin Smiley of C Jake Grove, “He’s blue-collar and fits the mold that [Bill Parcells] wants on our offensive line.  It’s all about being hungry than anything.  We’re nice guys off the field . . . but hard-nosed on.  That’s just old football.”
In his return from a wrist injury, Patriots CB Terrence Wheatley is focusing on getting back to seeing things on the field instead of video.
Jets assistant special teams coach Ben Kotwica piloted an Apache helicopter in Iraq.
Ravens rookie TE Davon Drew is getting extra reps because of injuries to Todd Heap and L.J. Smith.
Chick Ludwig of the Dayton Daily News selects CB Leon Hall as his Bengals breakout player of the year.
Browns coach Eric Mangini didn’t rule out the idea of C Hank Fraley playing some at guard.
Said Steelers T Max Starks of talks on a new contract, “It appears to be at a standstill.  I thought I was a priority before.  Then, they did James Harrison’s deal when he had one year left.  So apparently, I’m a lower man on the totem pole than I thought.”
Texans CB Glover Quin picked off a pass for the third day in a row.  [Editor’s note:  Does the practice interception count if Dan Orlovsky throws the ball from beyond the back line of the end zone?]
Colts S Bob Sanders will receive the Humanitarian Award from Pop Warner Little Scholars, Inc.  [Editor’s note:  Given his stature, there’s a chance that Sanders might be mistaken at the banquet for one of the players.]
After missing the last four games of 2008, Jaguars CB Rashean Mathis says he’s fully recovered from a knee injury.
Titans CB Cortland Finnegan is wearing T-shirts with the names of small colleges attended by his teammates.
Said Broncos owner Pat Bowlen, “We’re a long way away — at least I’m a long way — from making any serious judgment calls on who is going to be good and who isn’t.”  [Editor’s note:  In other words, “I’m currently scared to death that we’re not going to be any good.”]
Said Chiefs coach Todd Haley of LB Mike Vrabel, “Mike’s excited to get here.  I’m excited to see him in action and see where he’s at. We’ve been giving him the information, and he’s been working and calling and checking in.”
Raiders assistant coach Willie Brown has been elected to the Grambling Legends Sports Hall of Fame.
Said Chargers G.M. A.J. Smith of the AFC West, “I’m not comfortable with it because there is so much change.  All of these changes are designed to improve these teams, so you always have to be concerned about that as a competitor.”
Tim McMahon of the Dallas Morning News wonders if the Cowboys can afford to get rid of LB Greg Ellis.
Said Giants defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan, “I have to feel we have a very sound defense, maybe one of the best in the league. Getting Osi [Umenyiora] back was a great thing, and signing the guys we signed during the UFA period was more than I could have hoped for.”
Eagles G Max Jean-Gilles’ rehab from a broken leg was made more difficult by his considerable girth.
CB Byron Westbrook has to make the Redskins’ 53-man roster because the practice squad isn’t an option any longer.
Former Bears DT William “The Refrigerator” Perry was released from a South Carolina hospital after a month-long stay.
Lions coach Jim Schwartz was inspired by a visit to Joe Louis Arena to watch the Red Wings.
What to look for when the Packers gather for OTAs this week.
Said Vikings QB Tarvaris Jackson of WR Percy Harvin, “I know the guys, we’re going to love having him out here.  Like a new toy, just want to try him out and get him the ball as much as possible.”
Orlando Ledbetter of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution asks if the Falcons are making the right football decision by helping QB Michael Vick out the door.
Said Panthers LB Jon Beason of defensive coordinator Ron Meeks, “He wants guys that are reckless, flying around, competing every play. If you’re not that type of guy, you’re not going to play on this defense.  People got the message real fast
LB Dan Morgan says he’s excited to be back on the football field, and feels both his return and his move to weakside linebacker are going well.
Martin Fennelly of the Tampa Tribune thinks that Buccaneers coach Raheem Morris sent the wrong message when he said he wants a more violent football team.
Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt complimented QB Matt Leinart on growing up and showing maturity.
With Keenan Burton sidelined by injury, Laurent Robinson and Donnie Avery worked as the Rams’ first team wide receivers.
Matt Barrows of the Sacramento Bee reported that wide receivers Josh Morgan and Brandon Jones stood out during 49ers practices this week.
The Seahawks signed LB Tony Taylor, who made 11 tackles for the Falcons in 2007.

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6 Responses to “Saturday Morning One-Liners”
  1. titansfan says: May 23, 2009 10:18 AM

    “Lions coach Jim Schwartz was inspired by a visit to Joe Louis Arena to watch the Red Wings.”
    You left out the next line of the story…..”We could probably win if we could hit the other team with sticks!”

  2. Alpheratz says: May 23, 2009 12:09 PM

    I’m impressed with Kotwica. Kudos to the Jets.
    I won’t say that often.

  3. joltheadporgy says: May 23, 2009 1:04 PM

    Chris Harris will thrive under Meeks. Harris>Sanders

  4. SpartaChris says: May 23, 2009 1:07 PM

    Said Vikings QB Tarvaris Jackson of WR Percy Harvin, “I know the guys, we’re going to love having him out here. Like a new toy, just want to try him out and get him my balls as much as possible.”

    There, fixed that for him.

  5. aj says: May 23, 2009 1:51 PM

    The Orlovsky running out of the endzone jokes are really getting old.
    Sincerely,
    Houston, you have a problem

  6. Johnny2k says: May 23, 2009 5:14 PM

    The Seahawks signed LB Tony Taylor, who made 11 tackles for the Falcons… They then RELEASED Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor, who had been touted as a tackling machine, but who actually designed and built a “Tackling Machine” which malfunctioned, broke into the Seahawk cheerleaders’ dressing room, and chased several frightened young women through the building. (Edited) film at 11.

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