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Lights Out Vs. Ochocinco

In the old days, the best smack talk would occur on Saturday afternoon “studio” wrestling.  In segments shot when the three rows of fans weren’t there, the announcer would interview one of the combatants in an upcoming “fight,” and the wrestler would work himself into a crazed frenzy, during which he would vow upon their next encounter to dismember his opponent and insert the limbs into various orifices.  (Or something like that.)
When finished, the wrestler would storm away furiously, stage right.
Then, in the very same take and with a delay of maybe only a second or two, the announcer would turn to the left.
And the opponent would be there, offering up the same kind of unrestrained madness that the other guy had been projecting.
So it was all phony, but it was damn compelling.
Equally compelling is the manner in which modern athletes are using new technologies to engage each other verbally.
Most recently, Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco (who pretty much wants to fight anyone and everyone these days) got into a Twitter war with Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman.
But then it got interesting.
Merriman made a video, and he offered the following warning to Chad:  “Hey Ochocinco, or whatever the hell you wanna call yourself.  You brought me up from my workout, I had to stop working out to come reply.  To this.  You call me out again, I’m gonna wring your neck.  Just like that.”
Ochocinco, who always must have the last word, made a video of his own:  “I think you have slightly forgotten who you talking to.   Slightly disrespectful with that you gonna wring my neck out. . . .  I do talk and I also do walk.  Don’t let last year fool you, buddy.  Everybody must’ve forgot.  I really do this.  [Antonio] Cromartie, Shaun Phillips, anybody else that want some.  I’ll see y’all on December 20.  Sunday.  Four o’clock.  Child please.”
You know, once their football careers end, these two should become pro wrestlers.

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55 Responses to “Lights Out Vs. Ochocinco”
  1. cameron says: Jun 24, 2009 10:17 PM

    Merriman would woop his ass

  2. KramersPalLomez says: Jun 24, 2009 10:19 PM

    Don’t a lot of wrestlers take steroids? Why would a guy like Merriman get involved with… oh, right.

  3. Charlie Valentine says: Jun 24, 2009 10:19 PM

    this would’ve been one boring ass off season if it wasn’t for twitter

  4. cramjones says: Jun 24, 2009 10:19 PM

    Brokeback: Part Deux.

  5. cameron says: Jun 24, 2009 10:20 PM

    merriman would woop chads ass

  6. cramjones says: Jun 24, 2009 10:21 PM

    Part Duex, Duex, Duex? Shamefull, that Chris Berman.

  7. Tampa21 says: Jun 24, 2009 10:22 PM

    chad should have his own entertainment show

  8. 1stngoal says: Jun 24, 2009 10:25 PM

    I agree,Cameron,Merriman would dogwalk his a**!!! ;-D

  9. SaintsBucsPanthersSUKK says: Jun 24, 2009 10:29 PM

    Child please.

  10. HouTex says: Jun 24, 2009 10:29 PM

    Merriman would win as long as Ocho doesn’t throw a block at him *cough MJD* **cough*

  11. wbills11 says: Jun 24, 2009 10:33 PM

    I think Chad might be “slightly” retarded.

  12. FootballJoe11 says: Jun 24, 2009 10:36 PM

    In the video Ochocinco mouthes, “bi***” but he dubbed “buddy” over it.

  13. BuckFutter says: Jun 24, 2009 10:44 PM

    Why do people follow athletes and celebrities Twitters?
    Seriously….who cares that Ashley Tisdale just took a dump, or that Chad Johnson somehow figured out how to operate a computer?
    People in our society are getting really desperate to avoid their own lives.

  14. jcdavey says: Jun 24, 2009 10:45 PM

    two idiots who can’t shut up and just concentrate on football
    and i’m a merriman fan…but the dude needs to learn how to shut up and just play
    chad didn’t bring you out of your workout, you did
    take some responsibility
    that said, if he murders chad when they play, i just hope we win the game, nothing else matters but the dubya

  15. mike hunt says: Jun 24, 2009 10:47 PM

    Merriman may be a little on the douchey side (then again so is chad) but um..he is a very large douche. Bout 270 pounds of it. And probably lifts weights that are heavier than Chad all day. 8-5 might wanna think about bringing a bat if he really wants to have that kind of party

  16. FumbleNuts says: Jun 24, 2009 10:56 PM

    “I think you have slightly forgotten who you talking to. Slightly disrespectful with that you gonna wring my neck out. . . . I do talk and I also do walk.
    I do talk and I also do walk. ????????? WTF
    He also owns a Black sweatshirt that has “Coledge” (AKA College) in white letters written on the front!

  17. bbq says: Jun 24, 2009 10:56 PM

    Shawne Merriman might be able to kick Chad Ochocinco’s ass, but Ochocinco could outrun Merriman.
    Then Maurice Jones-Drew could kick Shawne Merriman’s ass.

  18. voyager6 says: Jun 24, 2009 10:56 PM

    Some day, some ‘fan’ is going to take a pop at Chad and deck him good. The defense in court will be all these ‘fight me’ messages and the perp will go free.

  19. brayce21 says: Jun 24, 2009 10:57 PM

    If I was chad i would hire Maurice Jones Drew to protect him…i mean he did turn Merrimans lights off

  20. Slow Joe says: Jun 24, 2009 11:02 PM

    There was a time that I would excited and entertained by such an exchange between athletes.
    And then I turned twelve.

  21. sharperpicks9 says: Jun 24, 2009 11:03 PM

    `i said on the earlier story that chad would whoop up on berman, but steroids or not merrimans got this fight. to big, itd go tot he ground after he suckered chad with his three peice…
    85, just shut up now or at least fight the man and be a man about it…

  22. nflhof says: Jun 24, 2009 11:03 PM

    Lights would destroy Ochocornholio in a ny minute.

  23. slizz says: Jun 24, 2009 11:04 PM

    I’m amazed at the time players like Marty-B and Chad spend responding to random posts on twitter, rather than perfecting their craft.
    All this talk about getting serious with Carson Palmer…if you goto his twitter page, you see nothing but responses…how is that actually helping him?

  24. NeoplatonistBolthead says: Jun 24, 2009 11:50 PM

    This is dumb. Ochocinco should watch out who he picks fights with, and Merriman should know better than to respond to everything that comes across his desk. ‘Course, it’s all fun and games, but still, it’s not dignified.

  25. PurpleNGold says: Jun 24, 2009 11:55 PM

    it’s all a setup.
    they create the carnival,
    and sell some tickets.

  26. raheem24 says: Jun 25, 2009 12:12 AM

    I love the “Just because a guys bigger” he would win in a fight attitude on this site, Big guys get their asses whooped too. Just ask Shuge Knight.

  27. downsouth49er says: Jun 25, 2009 12:21 AM

    I think Merriman wishes he had about Ochocinco needles and pills, and no more drug test

  28. Elaw6 says: Jun 25, 2009 12:31 AM

    Merriman is gonna knock Ochocinco’s gold grill down his throat.
    The Bolts are going to win. Carson Palmer should be hurt by Dec. 20th and Marvin Lewis will probably be fired by then too.

  29. boltergeist17 says: Jun 25, 2009 1:13 AM

    im a homer, but merriman would lay him out. i would (probably) be saying that as a bengals fan as well.

  30. pedd says: Jun 25, 2009 1:29 AM

    i bet u before they play there week 15 game, merriman will be injured again!
    i’ll take a wr that is having fun. over a steriod taking lb that had to stop his workout {injecting roids} to respond to this!

  31. replica says: Jun 25, 2009 1:47 AM

    Chad will probably burn the chargers for 100 yards & 2 Tds. Merriman won’t even be playing by December thanks to the roids destroying his body. Keep up the good tweeting ocho!

  32. korbot says: Jun 25, 2009 2:19 AM

    I always know when to start reading these articles: when I see the red links. That way, I can skip over the “humorous” preamble PFT is so fond of/insistent on providing with each article.
    That being said, I have a solution: DANCE OFF? Amiright?
    Whatever…if it’s good enough for Miley Cyrus, it’s good enough for me. And I’m drunk!

  33. ihatethejets says: Jun 25, 2009 3:04 AM

    the two biggest ass clowns of the NFL

  34. Hosstyle in Tampa says: Jun 25, 2009 4:52 AM

    Ask MoJo Drew for some back up 85…
    We all know what happens:

  35. TheTylerRose-BestEver says: Jun 25, 2009 5:00 AM

    Florio – Enough with the Twitter references. We are not in high school. We all hate the constant Twitter name dropping. Just please post the story and leave out the Twitter reference, so we will all not want to kill ourselves halfway through.
    NBC has to be making an offer to buy Twitter…that is the only explanation that makes sense for the constant plugs…

  36. kazkal says: Jun 25, 2009 5:04 AM

    You Merriman nuthuggers are retarded,this is chad being chad….
    —–Merriman would destroy chad!!!!!!!!!!!———-
    Um Der? He has 65+lbs on chad and uses steriods.

  37. Sock_Puppet says: Jun 25, 2009 7:08 AM

    Twitter War? Seriously? Nothing Geigher.

  38. BradshawLives!! says: Jun 25, 2009 7:33 AM

    Somebody sure has a Bengals fixation lately. Maybe gonna predict them to win the North? Or maybe some ad space being negotiated for a certain “reality show”?

  39. Orangello_Jones says: Jun 25, 2009 7:34 AM

    BuckFutter says:
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
    Why do people follow athletes and celebrities Twitters?
    Seriously….who cares that Ashley Tisdale just took a dump, or that Chad Johnson somehow figured out how to operate a computer?
    People in our society are getting really desperate to avoid their own lives.
    I couldn’t agree more. Basically…Tweet this.
    As for the actual conflict, I did find one of Chad’s (I refuse to ever call him Ocho Cinco, how lame) comments to actually be a good point. A lot of folks dog him like he’s a scrub with a big mouth who never produces but the guy led the league in receiving something like 2 years in a row. So when he’s actually on and has his head in the game (I know, rare of late it seems) he’s a very dangerous receiver.

  40. bluenoser says: Jun 25, 2009 7:50 AM

    Shawne Merriman is a tool. The Chargers have had the best talent of any team the past few years and they squander it.
    They squander it because they are too busy making commercials, going on NFL Network and talking about how great they are, working on dance moves, buying ridiculously loud suits and now responding to one of the biggest self-promoting jackasses in sports history (I wonder if his HoF Blazer is at the cleaners).
    He should stay in the gym or the film room and focus on winning championships. That pocky faced chicken head of a coach better get this team in line or he should be fired.

  41. stwasm says: Jun 25, 2009 8:07 AM

    As a long-suffering Redskins fan, I am soooooooooo grateful Mike Brown didn’t take Snyder up on his offer for two first-rounders to get Ocho Stinko. What a clown! If I’m a Bengals fan, I’d be like, “Why don’t you shut the (bleep) up and focus on keeping your promise of the Bengals making the playoffs?” He’s so ignorant that I’m embarrassed for him!

  42. saturn11 says: Jun 25, 2009 8:36 AM

    The dumbest part of this: Merriman thought he “had to stop working out to come reply,” as if it couldn’t wait until the end of his work out.

  43. revans52us says: Jun 25, 2009 9:10 AM

    one word that best describes Merriman…….CHEATER!!

  44. TiceWasBetter says: Jun 25, 2009 9:11 AM

    Can someone please fill Merriman’s gatorade with steroids the week before Dec 20 so he just goes on a straight up all out Muhammed Ali ass-whoopin’ mean ass beat down of this stupid bitch once and for all

  45. I Heart Matt Birk says: Jun 25, 2009 9:31 AM

    He’s already got his shirt off, now he just needs to get his ass out to the driveway for some crunches.
    “I also do walk”??? I guess you’re forgetting the part where you’re suppose to CATCH too. F’n moron.

  46. cincykid says: Jun 25, 2009 9:47 AM

    Fight would never happen since Merriman would piss dirty. Even if it did they should make it a mma fight so Chad could kick arrow head in his decrepid, degenerative steroid infested knee that ain’t gonna hold up long enough for him to cash in his big payday.

  47. jwill007 says: Jun 25, 2009 10:49 AM

    Im a Bengal fan and Chad needs to shut up and play and HOPE that he will be healthy by then……Shawne ROID RAGE Merriman would beat the dude to a pulp….Thats like Foreman fighting Roy Jones or something similar…He needs to KEEP focusing on winning games…..

  48. purpleguy says: Jun 25, 2009 10:56 AM

    By December 20th Johnson will change his name again with the hope that Merriman won’t recognize him. I bet if someone broke his jaw, and he couldn’t talk, he’d shrivel up and die.

  49. OZZ13 says: Jun 25, 2009 10:58 AM

    This is great entertainment in the offseason.
    We need more players doing this.

  50. footballnut says: Jun 25, 2009 11:10 AM

    Who does Ocho think he is? Maurice Jones-Drew?
    Both of them have diarhea of the mouth but at least this is somewhat entertaining…not as good as Ryan/Chowder though.

  51. EVOL says: Jun 25, 2009 12:19 PM

    Just let Merriman get a clean shot.. he would end 85’s career like he did with Priest Holmes!!

  52. EVOL says: Jun 25, 2009 12:23 PM

    All you keep talking bout the roids. that was 1 incident! when he came back from serving his suspension he had 4 sacks that game.. and continued to cause havoc! and he only had one major injury, u guys talking like he’s all washed up. Watch… the CHARGERS are coming back injury free and better than ever! BTW.. anyone that changes their last name to numbers is an IDIOT!!

  53. BrandonSD says: Jun 25, 2009 1:48 PM

    “All you keep talking bout the roids. that was 1 incident!”
    Seriously. I always love when there is a post about Merriman so I can come read all the super unique and original steroid jokes. Oh, and of course the always genius MJD comments. One dirty piss test 3 years ago and one time gets blown up on a block. That’s all you people have to bitch about? It wouldn’t be as bad if the last 17 tools that posted before you hadn’t said the exact same thing. Work on some new material boys.

  54. Pea Tear Griffin says: Jun 25, 2009 2:04 PM

    I’ll say this, the only redeeming quality about Chad Johnson is that he tweets back to EVERYONE who tweets to/about him.
    No wonder he skips team workouts. With 19,000 followers he probably spends all day on Twitter!

  55. JimmyLions says: Jun 25, 2009 6:03 PM

    There’s only one REAL way to settle this!
    Saturday Night
    Air Conditioned Cobo Arena
    Steel Cage Match
    No referees
    No disqualifications
    We’ll see which of them is man enough to try to walk out that door, or climb out over the top. (Someone better keep an eye on T.O. to keep him from sneaking in and interfering)
    On the same card … The Sheik vs. Bobo Brazil for the Heavyweight Championship
    You won’t want to miss this.

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