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Thursday Morning One-Liners

Said Bills WR Terrell Owens, “When I was 10 or 11 I entered a Michael Jackson contest in my hometown
and won.  My mom made me the glitter socks.  I had the
jacket, the glove, the leather pants, the everything.”  [Editor’s note:  And yet another piece of the complex brain stew comes into focus.]

Miami real estate developer Jorge Perez is expected to be hired as a Vice Chairman of the Dolphins.  [Editor’s note:  I’m not familiar with any of his music.]

The Patriots are inviting fans to vote on the top 10 moments in franchise history. 

Jets QB Mark Sanchez said he feels a kinship with fellow rookie QB Matthew Stafford.

How will the Ravens three-headed backfield share shake out in the 2009 season.

The Bengals ranked 118th on ESPN the Magazine‘s Ultimate Standings of 122 North American pro sports franchises.

Tiger Woods responded to criticism lobbed his way by former Browns RB Jim Brown.

Steelers LB James Farrior and CB Ike Taylor work out together in the offseason and neither has missed a game due to injury since 2005.

Said Texans WR Kevin Walter, “This year, I really want to work on my stiff arm and other moves that
get you a few more yards after the catch.  Once you get the ball in your
hands, you have to do something special with it.”  [Editor’s note:  It would be really easy to say, “That’s what she said” at this point.  So we won’t.]

Colts DE Marcus Howard anticipates having a bigger impact in his second season.

Said Jaguars C Brad Meester of his high school coach, the late Ed Thomas, “I’d love to be able to find a great picture of him and put it up in my
locker, just to remind me of all those values he taught me. Just carry
on all those things that meant so much to him.”

Would you rather have Titans RB Chris Johnson or Jaguars RB Maurice Jones-Drew?  [Editor’s note:  Until “Every Coach’s Dream” becomes Shawne Merriman’s nightmare, we’ll take Jones-Drew.]

Former Broncos WR Willie Green is using the golf course he owns in Shelby, N.C. to introduce the game to young African-Americans. 

Construction is set to begin on the Chiefs new training camp facility at Missouri Western State University.

Said Raiders LB Ricky Brown, “It’s something that is hard to describe, but when you play here you
completely understand it. There is no one else like the Raiders and the
fans are the same way.”

Citing safety concerns after a pipe burst in February, the Chargers will close training camp to the public.

Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post has a report from Congressional Golf Course where Cowboys QB Tony Romo played with Tiger Woods.

Giants LB Danny Clark’s football camp also included discussions of sexually transmitted diseases.

E! Online has video of Eagles WR Hank Baskett’s wedding to former Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson.  [Editor’s note:  It might be the first time that anyone has ever intentionally filmed video of Hank Baskett.]

Redskins WR Jaison Williams is hoping his size gives him an advantage in the battle for a roster spot.

Brad Biggs of the Chicago Sun-Times looks at how the Bears might choose to spend their salary cap room.

The Lions have created an all-you-can-eat section of seats at Ford Field.  [Editor’s note:  And it they eat so much that they feel the need to vomit, they only need to watch some of the game.] 

Packers rookie OL T.J. Lang is eager to start practicing in pads. 

Dave Myers of the LaCrosse Tribune writes that “if seeing [QB Brett] Favre play for Minnesota [Vikings] destroys our memories of his career, it says more about us than it does about him.”

Cowboys LB Keith Brooking still laments biting on a play-action fake during his last game with the Falcons.

The Panthers released Mike Juergens and Brit Miller, a pair of rookie linebackers.

FoxSports.com ranks the Saints as having the 11th best running back package in the NFL.

Said Buccaneers CB Ronde Barber, “When you’ve been with a team as long as I have and been able to play
under Monte [Kiffin] for so long, there’s a comfort level, but this is a new
challenge and I’m excited about it.”

Cardinals rookie S Rashad Johnson says it would be a dream to have a career like his teammate Adrian Wilson’s.

Bill Coats of the St. Louis Post Dispatch writes that Rams DT Adam Carriker looked stronger and faster during offseason workouts.  [Editor’s note:  Maybe everyone else is just getting weaker and slower.]

TE Vernon Davis’ college coaches think the 49ers will get more out of him if they use him on simpler passing plays.

Staying healthy is the top priority for the Seahawks receiving corps.  

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19 Responses to “Thursday Morning One-Liners”
  1. eagle1 says: Jul 2, 2009 10:34 AM

    Can we get some real eagles news? Baskett marrying Playmate Kendra doesn’t qualify. The eagles may actually get more yardage if the better half of that relationship were to suit up… perhaps something skimpier than what the rest of the players wear.

  2. Hungry N. Hadasnack says: Jul 2, 2009 10:38 AM

    Everyone should go to the Patriots’ site to vote Tyree’s SB catch as the #1 moment in franchise history.

  3. hurls187 says: Jul 2, 2009 11:03 AM

    florio your editor comments kill me, bro!

  4. rifraf66 says: Jul 2, 2009 11:26 AM

    I’m not a Tiger fan nor am I a Jim Brown fan…but Jim STFU ..please isn’t being possible the greatest player that’s ever lived in a sport that just a short time ago won’t even let him play enough of a social statement..please Jim just let it go Tiger is far more interested in crushing all around him then pleasing your social outrage.

  5. Child_Please! says: Jul 2, 2009 11:39 AM

    “The Patriots are inviting fans to vote on the top 10 moments in franchise history.”
    ********************************
    What do you think the chances are that the bandwagon fans of Chowderville will list Spygate as one of the top 10 moments in franchise history?
    BWAHAHAHAHA

  6. olcap says: Jul 2, 2009 11:39 AM

    If the Cheatriots polled their fanboys about the LOW points in that team’s history, Belicheat’s getting caught, fined, the team fined, and the loss of a first round draft pick for cheating would be number one, because that incident has been the cause of so much of their incessant whining and denial whenever the incident is brought up in public.

  7. Child_Please! says: Jul 2, 2009 11:40 AM

    Dave Myers of the LaCrosse Tribune writes that “if seeing [QB Brett] Favre play for Minnesota [Vikings] destroys our memories of his career, it says more about us than it does about him.”
    ***********************
    So very very true.

  8. Paul Hanna says: Jul 2, 2009 11:47 AM

    “FoxSports.com ranks the Saints as having the 11th best running back package in the NFL.”
    ****************************************
    And in related news, profootballtalk.com ranks the Vikings as having the best tight end package in the NFL thanks to Visanthe Shiancoe.

  9. pats suck, blow and cheat says: Jul 2, 2009 11:59 AM

    Trust me, Belicheat has intentionally filmed Baskett.

  10. DeMeritus says: Jul 2, 2009 12:00 PM

    With the new page-display format, only a few of the items in the One-Liners occupy but one line on my screen. Perhaps the title should be changed…

  11. Child_Please! says: Jul 2, 2009 12:07 PM

    And yes, this is my new ID Hayward Giablahblah, Mrmgoo,Ralphie,Tcclark,etc.
    #1 Moment
    Everybody else was doing it, I misinterpeted the rules, it didnt benefit us.
    Yea Right…………………..Child Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Fuber says: Jul 2, 2009 1:06 PM

    “That’s what she said”
    This is NBC, kids might be reading this!

  13. agent666 says: Jul 2, 2009 1:14 PM

    RE: olcap says:
    If the Cheatriots polled their fanboys about the LOW points in that team’s history, Belicheat’s getting caught, fined, the team fined, and the loss of a first round draft pick for cheating would be number one, because that incident has been the cause of so much of their incessant whining and denial whenever the incident is brought up in public
    olcap, you know nothing about Patriot history.
    How about getting cheated out of the 78 superbowl due to a fake roughing the passer call in the championship game against the raiders?
    Ok, maybe that player exposing himself to the female globe reporter in the locker room was lower, or Irving Fryer getting stabbed in the hand by his wife before the superbowl, or when that fat bastard quiter Parcells let it be leaked the week before teh super bowl that he was leaving the team for the jets after the game, that was pretty low too. All of that was way worse than Belichick getting fined for a minor rule violation. In fact most fans probably don’t care about the Belichick fine

  14. empty13 says: Jul 2, 2009 1:28 PM

    stew? hash is more like it!

  15. EskinSux says: Jul 2, 2009 1:40 PM

    So….That’s why TO is so wacko……It all makes sense now…..

  16. favres_right_tendon says: Jul 2, 2009 2:12 PM

    Can someone please tell Jim Brown to take his washed up act somewhere else and get back to his daily job of greeting people at the local Wal-Mart?
    Seriously Jim………..just go away!

  17. El Colon says: Jul 2, 2009 2:24 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjXZOyQ_mY8

  18. moswesley says: Jul 2, 2009 2:30 PM

    I guess Jorge Perez needs a new job with all his properties being foreclosed on.
    http://www.miamiherald.com/business/story/1123822.html

  19. Flying elvis says: Jul 2, 2009 2:47 PM

    Fat Tuna telling them to kick it to Desmond Howard in the Packers SB might be the lowest. 1st special teams player to be MVP. Brady’s knee injury has to be worst moment though. They would have won the SB for sure. Now they had to wait another year. The giants getting lucky probably isn’t even in the top ten.

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