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Winslow admits to swollen, um, manhood

We reported last year that former Browns tight end Kellen Winslow missed time during the season due to a case of testiculus coconutus.

Neither the Browns nor Winslow ever acknowledged that fact.

The report apparently triggered untrue rumors that Winslow was suffering from a sexually-transmitted disease, or a mishap from taking a male enhancement drug. 

And this prompted Winslow’s publicist to suggest that the Browns announce instead that Winslow contracted a staph infection from a car door.

The text messages flew back and forth, with the Browns eventually making it known that they wanted to keep a tight lid on evidence of yet another Cleveland player getting a staph infection.

Winslow subsequently vented his frustrations publicly, and the team responded by suspending him for a game.  But the suspension was rescinded amid evidence of text messages confirming that the Browns tried to get Winslow not to disclose his health condition.

The ugly incident likely contributed to the firing of former G.M. Phil Savage and the departure of Winslow via offseason trade to Tampa.  And now more of the truth is emerging.

Specifically, Winslow tells Seth Wickersham of ESPN The Magazine (via the Akron Beacon-Journal) that his “testicles were enlarged, to the point where it hurt to walk.”

Wickersham also reports that Winslow’s publicist floated the car-door theory, and that the publicist admitting the explanation would be “stretching the truth a bit.”

Winslow also described the treatment to Wickersham.  “They had to drain it,” Winslow said.  “They had a scalpel.  They cut into it.  I had to
clean it every day with a Q-Tip, for two and a half weeks.  It was the
most painful thing I’ve ever been through.”

Per Wickersham, Winslow also confronted teammates for not supporting the fact that he had a staph infection.

“I was real disappointed when no one came to my defense,” Winslow told
Wickersham.  “They don’t want to get suspended or have conduct
detrimental to the team, but you’ve gotta be a man sometimes.”

So, basically, Winslow is saying that their balls weren’t big enough.

Permalink 29 Comments Feed for comments Latest Stories in: Cleveland Browns, Legal, Rumor Mill, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Top Stories
29 Responses to “Winslow admits to swollen, um, manhood”
  1. mikenjess143 says: Jul 20, 2009 8:44 PM

    Well, that’s just what the Buccaneers some guys with huge Balls.

  2. empty13 says: Jul 20, 2009 8:44 PM


  3. screaming sheep says: Jul 20, 2009 9:14 PM

    He got it from a car door. Yeah, and she got gonorrhea from riding a tractor in her bathing suit.

  4. FleamarketHustler says: Jul 20, 2009 9:30 PM

    It’s not good when your staph gets infected!

  5. INVAIDUH says: Jul 20, 2009 9:32 PM

    So the dick’s getting bigger.

  6. acrosstic says: Jul 20, 2009 9:35 PM

    Goodnight and Big Balls!

  7. seemoansewn says: Jul 20, 2009 9:43 PM

    As Bender would say…”Would you ever consider dating a guy like this? I mean, if he had a great personality, was a good dancer, and had a cool car – although you’d probably have to ride in the back seat, because his nuts would ride shotgun.”

  8. ncoolong says: Jul 20, 2009 9:44 PM

    Wow…it paints an excellent portrait of the guy, unhealthily huge nuts aside. I think he pretty much as the a-hole everyone thinks he is. Everyone except him, of course.

  9. Real Football Fan says: Jul 20, 2009 9:49 PM

    This is byond ridiculous. People can throw around the “I’m a soldier” rant, but that was almost 10 years ago, while the Browns organization has continually put their players at risk with these outbreaks of staph.
    What’s it going to take, a death, for the league to step in? Why isn’t Roger Goodell on the Browns’ case about this since he’s all over the players for every mishap, large or small?
    I could understand one or two cases, but the Browns have had several, and their insistence on just covering up the incidents, rather than addressing why they keep happening is more disturbing than anything. If I were a free agent player, I’d cross them off the list before the process began in light of these kind of antics.

  10. phillydollabilly says: Jul 20, 2009 9:53 PM

    “I’m a SOLDIER!!!!”

  11. aceman309 says: Jul 20, 2009 10:30 PM

    Why were his testiculus El Grande in contact with a car door anyway???
    I haven’t heard anything like this since Art Modell scratched his scrotum.

  12. Vox is an Idiot says: Jul 20, 2009 10:38 PM

    I use a different method to drain my balls.

  13. ronry says: Jul 20, 2009 10:42 PM

    Ummm, “They had a scalpel”??? WTF??
    I guess he really is a ‘man’, because no scalpel is getting close to my manhood.
    What a dumbass.

  14. TheMagicIsYou! says: Jul 20, 2009 10:44 PM

    Even if the blame falls squarely on the Browns, it isn’t a problem entirely of their own creation. Some strains of staph are incredibly resilient. Staph killed 19,000 people in 2005 — 85% of whom contracted it in the hospital, of all places.
    But how does ANYONE blame Winslow in this situation? Should he have shut up and played through an infection that could have castrated him? Killed him? How would any of us react upon discovering that, not only had we contracted staph in our workplace, but that we weren’t the first to do so?

  15. SilverSlug says: Jul 20, 2009 10:47 PM

    Winslow’s should have his publicist suck out the puss, thats all He seems to be good for.

  16. Stone says: Jul 20, 2009 10:58 PM

    Who did PFT report was suing the Browns recently for the staph infection that ended their career? Was that Drew Bennett or Joe Jurevicius? The Browns are going to lose that lawsuit. They should be forced to burn down their facilities and rebuild.

  17. besharpone says: Jul 20, 2009 11:21 PM

    You are getting as bad as the media. Why don’t you tell the rest of the story?
    The article also goes on to explain why no teammates would back Winslow. It appears that most, if not all, are glad that he is gone.

  18. besharpone says: Jul 20, 2009 11:25 PM

    As long as the Browns have done all they could regarding Staph Infections, they won’t lose!
    Two years ago, they had the place completel sanitized.
    How can one prove where he got a staph infection? He could have gotten it from anywhere.
    Maybe he got it from the locker room where he was playing basketball while rehabing.
    Oh, that’s right!!! The Pro Talk didn’t include that tidbit or the part where his teammates all were angry by his actions while on the team.

  19. SaintsBucsPanthersSUKK says: Jul 20, 2009 11:30 PM

    Some AC/DC would be great here right now.

  20. downsouth49er says: Jul 20, 2009 11:37 PM

    Winslow is probably blowing this out of proportion like he did that loss when he was in college…the one where he had this locker room “blow up”, that was so fake…he was not that “pissed” lmao….phony guy

  21. MasterShake says: Jul 20, 2009 11:38 PM

    This is bad news! Everyone should listen up! Nobody has looked at this story in the manner that it was truly supposed to be thought as. This is the new way that athletes can counter their shrinking turkey neck as a result of steriods! Get a staph in you sack!

  22. Caramelized Onions says: Jul 20, 2009 11:40 PM

    “They don’t want to get suspended or have conduct detrimental to the team, but you’ve gotta be a man sometimes.”
    Funny how he questions everyone else’s manhood for not defending him…was it that they weren’t “men” or that nobody likes him? I’m going with the latter on this one.

  23. Caramelized Onions says: Jul 20, 2009 11:42 PM

    And guys, I think some of you missed the point of this story. He did NOT have a staph infection on his balls, he had an STD. The Browns were just trying to cover for him.

  24. LewD says: Jul 20, 2009 11:52 PM

    it hurt just reading about it ….

  25. Kidekk says: Jul 20, 2009 11:58 PM

    I’m not sure they covered which STD makes your balls blowed up in my school. Someone want to fill me in?

  26. BengalTyler says: Jul 21, 2009 12:21 AM

    “So, basically, Winslow is saying that their balls weren’t big enough.”
    Sorry, kids..that’s just good writing.

  27. Rasputin says: Jul 21, 2009 2:40 AM

    Big Ben shoulda taken him to Vegas.

  28. Bigbluefan says: Jul 21, 2009 8:20 AM

    Cant be that big if all he needed was a QTip

  29. peskys_pole says: Jul 21, 2009 2:45 PM

    I heard his balls were so big…..not even Braylon Edwards could drop them

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