Ochocinco takes on ESPN

NFL_cjohnson2.jpgBengals receiver Chad Ochocinco, with the giddy demeanor of a kid who is trying out a new toy on Christmas morning, has discovered USTREAM, a site allowing users to stream live video to anyone who’ll watch it.

Basically, it’s like Kramer finding the discarded set of the Merv Griffin Show, but with people actually watching.

For roughly two hours on Wednesday morning, Ochocinco sat at his computer, barechested in a blue robe, and he responded to a whirring list of reader  comments by talking directly into his camera.

“I’m the new ESPN,” he declared.  “You don’t have to go to ESPN anymore.”

He said that he doesn’t need “sources,” and that he’ll call people up directly and find out what’s going on.

At one point, one of the readers typed, “ESPN sucks anyway,” and Chad agreed.

But here’s something that Chad needs to keep in mind, if he’s going to talk on the phone to people like rapper Lil Wayne and place the call on speaker for the USTREAM crowd to hear. 

Depending on the state where Chad is sitting at the time, he could be breaking the local wiretapping laws if the person with whom he’s speaking hasn’t consented to allowing him to broadcast the conversation.

Today, for example, Lil Wayne apparently had no idea his words were being broadcast to the triple-digit crowd that had tuned in.

Of course, Chad likely would say, “Child please” in response to these legal niceties.

Antonio Pierce probably would have said the same thing if someone had told him that picking up Plaxico’s pistol and driving it out of New York City would potentially him in line for a 42-month stay at the Sing Sing Sheraton. 

26 responses to “Ochocinco takes on ESPN

  1. Ochostinko should focus on football, you know, the occupation that allows him to live the lifestyle he does.
    USTREAM is not going to pay the bills Chad. And really not many people care to watch you on a PC.
    Focus on how your going to hide from Merriman when you visit San Diego this year. my guess is that you will “injured” and not play in that game..
    CHILD PLEASE! your a bi*ch!

  2. Florio writes: “Of course, Chad likely would say, “Child please” in response to these legal niceties.”
    Of course you could offer your legal advice to Mr. Ochocinco and give him tips on how to take on ESPN- like driving into the ground a story your site unearthed first and ESPN refused to publish. ESPN calls it self the “Worldwide Leader”, but its banner line (unlike Fox) does not claim to be fair and balanced.
    PFT is great, but while Florio reports the news, it often times is quite biased. ESPN does not constantly refer to Brett Favre as “Lord”. In the ned PFT is like ESPN, you know, without the worldwide recognition, the 24 hour programming, countless millions of dollars, a huge staff and all of the athletes who stop by. Oh, and minus the sometimes funny commercials.

  3. The man is not hurting anyone, let the man be. And do you think Lil Wayne has any idea about wiretapping laws??? “Child Please!!”

  4. Wow…quite an irrelevant jump at that last paragraph, don’t you think?
    A bit of a stretch, to say the least…
    If I had to logically represent the content of this article using numbers, it might look something like this:

  5. Will this knucklehead ever go away?…
    He draws foolish attention to the Bengals when they should be trying to reshape their image. Please trade him or cut him, or call a pass route for him that exposes him in the middle of the field when they are playing the Steelers, and let Troy knock his helmet off!….please child.

  6. “Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco, with the giddy demeanor of a kid who is trying out a new toy on Christmas morning, has discovered USTREAM,”
    Ocho Stinkco should be focusing on discovering the end zone this year!
    How do his teammates deal with this muppet?

  7. I’m fully in favor of this if Chad will end up getting sent to prison. This would be a great way to get the douche off of our team.

  8. He needs to get a little more done in terms of accomplishment to warrant all the ink you give him.

  9. The anti-ESPN revolution has begun! This is like the first shots fired at Concorde.
    305-Chad-8-5 is an American hero now.

  10. Bottomline – Ocho is the MAN! He’s the most ridiculous athlete there is. He’s so over the top and hilarious, I love following his antics.
    Far better than the antics of say, Favre or Owens for sure.
    But in closing I would like to steal a T.O. line: “Get your popcorn ready”, for the Ocho show! I’d certainly much rather watch him babble about nothing than watch T.O. try to get a date.

  11. As a Steelers fan keep up the choas Chad!! I love the fact you cause drama and distractions for your team. This will ensure the Bungals continue to be a doormat for the Steelers.

  12. USTREAM must be very user friendly to enable a mouth-breather like Ochostinko to figure it out.

  13. Wow, the sourpusses on this site never cease to amaze me. Chad is a guy who doesn’t take his status too seriously, he likes to have fun, he likes to be the center of attention. How is it that you dbags are offended? I have a suspicion that Chad gets a kick out of pissing petty people like you off, and apparently he’s damn good at it too. “I’m fully in favor of this if it gets chad sent to prison” I’m fully in favor of you becoming a Browns fan. Provance, I love that a simple column about a guy who you already know is kind of strange warrants your wishes of physical harm, you suck.
    Child PLease, Sterriman should be focusing on how he’s gonna stay healthy and put up even decent numbers without the help of a certain hormone. No sir, you are a B*tch, you and your hormone taking LB.

  14. doormat for the steelers huh????? When we kick that A– in week 3 we will see if you think we are a doormat….You keep thinking you are playing the 08 bengals and THAT will be what shocks you the most when you get your A– kicked week 3! DAM I cant wait for that week…..It will be fun to read all these “6 RINGS” excuses after taking an A– kickin…….EVERYONE weak fans run to that when SMACKED IN THE MOUTH! And its happening THIS SEASON! DOnt worry I aint goin nowhere IM HERE ALL DAY ALL YEAR! See you confident tampons soon….

    It is getting to the point where it is sad, the theatrics, the td celebrations, twitter, Ustream.
    Ocho-Douche-O is venturing into the pathetic….

  16. jwill007
    Bungals = Steelers doormat
    2 easy divisional wins for the Steelers!!!
    What ever you are smoking I would love to sample!

  17. I follow Ocho on Twitter and I’m pretty sure he has gone completely insane and he has the intelligence level of a 12 year old.
    Child Please

  18. jwill007……awesome, I’m guessing that the basis for your bold predictions are something other than history, because you are not dealing in reality son! Now go sell your tix to SteelerNation, like all the other ever so confident Bungle fans do & we’ll take over your stadium again this season!!!

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