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Glazer desecrates Mort's bus

During the offseason, FOX’s Jay Glazer assumes the profile of
Punxsutawney Phil.  (He gets so pissed when I say that.  And so I do it
whenever I can.)

But it’s sort of true.  He pursues other interests when football isn’t in season, such as transforming “pretty boys” into “killers” (and transforming bread and meat into pieces of sandwich art). 

He also makes the occasional cameo appearance with a first-tier story
that those of us with feet on the street every day can’t touch.

And
Glazer more than makes up for it during the regular season, when he
consistently is at the top of the heap when it comes to NFL information.

Well, with the 2009 season nearly upon us, the Glaze is back.

He’s kicking things off with a training-camp tour, and he crossed paths with ESPN’s Chris Mortensen on Wednesday. 

Specifically, Glazer crossed paths with Mort’s bus.  The evidence appears below.

A league source tells us that Mort’s applying for a restraining order
in the morning.  (But if it’s only a civil restraining order, Glazer won’t have to worry about ESPN reporting on it.)

[UPDATE:  The thing about the restraining order is a joke.  Mort did not file for a restraining order.  In light of that clarification, only five percent of you will now believe that Mort has filed for a restraining order.]

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35 Responses to “Glazer desecrates Mort's bus”
  1. Gibbon Randolph says: Aug 4, 2009 11:23 PM

    Whenever I see that damn bus segment with Mort’s goofy ass I’m compelled to change the channel with the force of a thousand suns.

  2. southernboi727 says: Aug 4, 2009 11:27 PM

    Thats just classic. Pure genius. Thats just funny.No harm done.

  3. houskat says: Aug 4, 2009 11:30 PM

    Punxsutawney Phil doing his gang “I love you Mort”forcast…. :)

  4. SaintsBucsPanthersSUKK says: Aug 4, 2009 11:30 PM

    The Atlanta Falcons today signed wide receiver Dicky Lyons, previously of the University of Kentucky.

  5. dlr4skins says: Aug 4, 2009 11:32 PM

    I’m hopeful that TacoBill crosses the same path and illustrates the infomous Sean Salisbury pic in Mort’s phone.
    Why does every credible sports “reporter” have to think I want to see more of them?

  6. INVAIDUH says: Aug 4, 2009 11:33 PM

    Funny as s#!t….
    Mort…ESPN…
    They both suck…

  7. EdReed4prez says: Aug 4, 2009 11:34 PM

    Florio I get it… ESPN sucks… I agree… Let it die already.
    Rather than point fingers and be the kid who points out the big kids mistakes, just be the guy who gets paid less and writes about everything (no matter how trivial). Us non-lawyers call that taking the high road.

  8. mvlonergan says: Aug 4, 2009 11:38 PM

    Imagining Mort’s reaction: “Who did that? I’m gonna kick his … what … it was Glazer? I’m gonna put a restraining order on that guy.”

  9. Travis says: Aug 4, 2009 11:49 PM

    Shoe Polish

  10. adamc0nley says: Aug 4, 2009 11:56 PM

    Glazer has a manly tan.

  11. INVAIDUH says: Aug 5, 2009 12:14 AM

    Don’t “Let it die” as EdReedfoprez says
    It’s a B.S. sports monoply…
    Drop bombs….
    & When they stop glowing drop more…
    ESPN SUX.

  12. INVAIDUH says: Aug 5, 2009 12:47 AM

    oly…yeah I know.

  13. RedskinPete says: Aug 5, 2009 1:12 AM

    florio here live reporitng on a guy who reports……….brilliant ! now your thinking with your dipstick jimmy

  14. Abe Froeman says: Aug 5, 2009 1:34 AM

    That’s actually pretty artistic. Not bad Glaze.

  15. Ashley Schaeffer BMW says: Aug 5, 2009 3:14 AM

    As a journalist myself, this Florio/Glazer slurp job makes me want to quit my job. This is NFL news how? Florio, you disappoint me, there surely could have been an anti-Vick angle you could have worked in there some how but you were lazy… or too busy slurping Glazer because he has a spay tan and like MMA and you’re scared of what he might do to you if you don’t ‘massage his ego’

  16. billsfanaddict says: Aug 5, 2009 3:22 AM

    …and after the mushroom cloud disperses enough to see the few remaining stragglers crawling away…
    bomb them again, nuclear style

  17. Brownwood26 says: Aug 5, 2009 5:14 AM

    Good. That drawing of Mort is completely awful anyway. Glazer actually made it look better…

  18. killachap says: Aug 5, 2009 5:43 AM

    I agree, ESPN is horrible and the sad thing is they are too arrogant to notice and or care. Let’s keep ripping them to shreds……
    Is it just me or has Glazer gotten a little bit cocky since he started this MMA thing?

  19. Travis says: Aug 5, 2009 8:48 AM

    Totally staged even Mort reports about it on his twitter page twitter.com/mortreport
    “As I predicted “Mort Bus” headed for graffiti. Jay Glazer is first to do the honors. Pictures coming!”

  20. TCH4ever says: Aug 5, 2009 8:55 AM

    I thought Jay was white???

  21. Devils Advocate says: Aug 5, 2009 9:16 AM

    hey Glazer !
    good one that was wicked pissaaaaaahhhhhhh!
    you just went up 10 notches in my book.
    sorry Morty, you took the high hard on that one.

  22. eeerockski says: Aug 5, 2009 9:17 AM

    I don’t get it. I realize the painting if Mort on the bus is lame, but wtf?

  23. eeerockski says: Aug 5, 2009 9:18 AM

    I get it now. My mistake.

  24. Kevin from Philly says: Aug 5, 2009 9:39 AM

    Yeah, the whole Mort on the bus thing blows. But what did you expect? It’s probably Kornheiser’s old bus from MNF, so the taint of suckiness hasn’t worn off yet.

  25. Walt says: Aug 5, 2009 9:56 AM

    Can’t stand either one of them, they’re both sub-par when it comes to actual information being correct. If I want any inside info anymore I wait for the Charlie Caserly segment to come on. After that I wait for the 1:00 hour because all these pre-game shows are a joke anymore. Berman still talks like he needs the respirator on hand, es-pin yells and screams, just BS to me, CBS is another joke, Sharpe’s too ego-driven and the rest of them don’t interest me ‘cept for Caserly, and FOX is just plain idiotic anymore, I held out hope for Howie Long, but he’s dumbed down too from working too long w/ Bradshaw. Even the comedian they have on there started boring me a year ago, get some different impressions pal. And of course does that ugly weather girl need one more surgery or another Dan Marino pick me up with that crooked diet plan, God, she’s uggggly

  26. realitypolice says: Aug 5, 2009 10:01 AM

    Fan Nation at SI.com quoted this report without the part at the end about it being a joke. Let the fun begin.

  27. topcide says: Aug 5, 2009 10:36 AM

    I was hoping to see some poo smearing going on.

  28. ShowMeYourTDS says: Aug 5, 2009 11:14 AM

    I thought Jay was white too
    But this is absolutely priceless
    just having some harmless fun and now a restraining order for the jokster

  29. Dewey Axewound says: Aug 5, 2009 11:15 AM

    Florio,
    I get that Glazer could rear-naked-choke you out in less than a nano-second, but you can tone down the worship a bit.
    Also, I refuse to watch or endorse anything ESPN (except the actual MNF games, of course) until they give Rush his job back.
    Firing a man for speaking the truth–however ugly/un-PC it may be–is even worse than the blowhards and their annoying catchphrases and the network’s biased, myopic coverage.
    Besides, if NBC can have Olberwoman and his snide insinuations, then why not?

  30. BernardPollardIsAnAss says: Aug 5, 2009 11:24 AM

    Mort’s been punked.

  31. jimicos says: Aug 5, 2009 12:38 PM

    Florio hates Terry Bradshaw.

  32. snccoach says: Aug 5, 2009 1:37 PM

    I’m surprised Glazer’s 4’10” a** could even reach the bus.

  33. yoyo says: Aug 5, 2009 8:02 PM

    And the 5% you are speaking of……..the Obamaites.

  34. Whodey08 says: Aug 11, 2009 1:02 PM

    What is this ESPN? Is it a sports channel?
    I watch Speed, Fox, Versus, Outdoor, NFLN, so what is this ESPN? And what are they the world wide leader of? Crap?

  35. CardHock says: Aug 11, 2009 1:39 PM

    Mort has more Agent dick in his mouth than just about any sports journalist alive. He is so busy suckin on Tom Condon i dont see how he has time to do much else.

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