Tony Romo has a built-in excuse, too

We’ve previously pointed out that, in this era of injury secrecy and skullduggery (it’s probably redundant, but the term “skullduggery” simply isn’t used as much as it should be), Brett Favre’s willingness to tattoo a target on his partially torn rotator cuff likely arises from a desire to have an advance excuse for not playing well in 2009.

Tony Romo now has a similar excuse.

Specifically, Romo has been cursed.

Per the Pulitzer-winning National Enquirer, former Romo girlfriend Jessica Simpson found a witch on the Internet (where else?) to put a hex on the Cowboys starting quarterback.  Says the report, “The two met at the star’s Beverly Hills home where they lit a candle, burned some incense and performed a couple of incantations.”

The curse primarily focuses on impeding Romo’s ability to fall in love again, but football failure also was included.  (She apparently had a coupon, or something.)

She possibly would have cursed Romo to forever look like Gomer Pyle, but someone already has beaten her to that one.  

70 responses to “Tony Romo has a built-in excuse, too

  1. So now he’s going to play well in big games? Or is he going to do the Groundhog Day thing and relive December 28, 2008 every day for the next ten years?

  2. Hey Mike, when you get around to reinstituting the comment ratings, how about letting the readers rate your articles?
    Since comment ratings keep the commentators in check, I think the readers need to keep you in check. Man oh man. This season cannot start soon enough.

  3. “The curse primarily focuses on impeding Romo’s ability to fall in love again”.
    Just with women? He’s probably OK with that curse.

  4. It’s about flippin’ time you do some real reporting. I was tired of you always relying on shady “league sources.” Well done sir.

  5. Given the Cowboys haven’t won a playoff game in over a decade, just how is the “witch” going to prove her hex is actually working?
    Seems to me if Romo is fumbling snaps and throwing INT’s in playoff losses, the hex already started.

  6. Wow. Yours sources are garbage. I had to re-register to tell you your integrity is gone with this story

  7. That explains it. One of his high school ex-girlfriends must have put the November-January football curse on him already.

  8. seriously, i love coming to this site but i couldn’t even finish reading this “article.” are you trying to get a job with Wow! magazine?

  9. No more excuses. We gave up our best offensive weapon to become more “Romo friendly”, which is the gayest quote ever.He better deliver a playoff win this year.

  10. “She possibly would have cursed Romo to forever look like Gomer Pyle, but someone already has beaten her to that one. ”
    This coming from a guy who looks like a homsexual waiter from an episode of the Soprano’s

  11. The curse primarily focuses on impeding Romo’s ability to fall in love again, but football failure also was included….
    Unfortunately for ‘boys fans, Romo seems to have figured out football (or at least playoff) failure without a curse.

  12. If this curse was put on him 2 years ago it makes sense.
    the kid is absolute crap in the clutch and everyone outside dallas loves watching the cowgirls suck ass with their choking QB!

  13. The National Enquirer? You read that? You need to get your hormone levels checked. Who cursed you to look like an even more effete version of Eddie Munster?

  14. Sweet now when Romo chokes in the playoffs it won’t be his next girlfriend’s fault it will be his ex’s fault. Must be nice to play the blame game for your failures. Maybe if he didn’t go so Hollywood and concentrated on football he’d win a playoff game. Or maybe show up to practice and OTA’s instead of playing in a celebrity golf tournament. Of course this year he just has to try and make it back to the playoffs without T.O. Maybe its a curse from the people at IHOP for leaving Jessica crying in the parking lot. Parcells built that team and it is falling apart without him.

  15. I was with Tony when a witch put an anti-curse spell on him to prevent curses from working.
    This is actually something that most teams do for their QBs as witchcraft and underground sorcery is a huge part of the NFL underground.
    Jessica is late to the party, again.

  16. This is the best thing I’ve read on PFT so far. My wife thinks Tony Romo looks just like Gomer Pyle. And I think he plays like Gomer Pyle. Maybe the Cowboys need Sgt Carter for their head coach.

  17. If you are looking for Gomer Pyle, then you need to look in San Diego, because that’s where he’s currently residing under center.

  18. I think Colt Brennan needs to be thanking his life coach Chris Cooley right now, or he might’ve been the next victim… and he certainly doesn’t need any bad luck to have a rough game.

  19. Florio, you should be forced to turn in your ‘man card’ for having even visited that celeb gossip website.
    Unfotunately, since you sucked me into that link, mine has just been put in the mail.

  20. He wasn’t already cursed? Let’s see.. Plays for the Cowboys. Can’t win a big game to save his life. Spent 3 years playing with T.O.. Sounds like a curse to me.

  21. “Sweet now when Romo chokes in the playoffs it won’t be his next girlfriend’s fault it will be his ex’s fault. Must be nice to play the blame game for your failures. Maybe if he didn’t go so Hollywood and concentrated on football he’d win a playoff game. Or maybe show up to practice and OTA’s instead of playing in a celebrity golf tournament.”
    Wow, how uninformed can one person be? You may have set a record.

  22. If I were Tony, I would leak that my own internet witch cast Aura of No Fat Chicks on me, not only preventing a repeat of the mistakes of the past, but assuring that the door was closed on their ‘relationship’ forever.

  23. If Romo was that bad at football WITHOUT a curse, I’d hate to see how bad he is with it.
    Or maybe it’s like combining a negative with a negative, this curse will cancel out whatever bad juju caused 44-6, thus allowing him to finally win a playoff game?
    I can’t wait until the end of next season, when Cowboys fans can go back to the ultimately logical argument of blaming a dude’s girlfriend for how he performs (or fails to perform) on field.

  24. He doesn’t only look like Gomer Pyle, he’s like him in other ways too.
    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  25. I really hope thats not true. Not that I’m a fan of hers, but to think anyone would do such a thing saddens me.

  26. Millions of bucks, banged Jessica Simpson, Sophia Bush, Michelle Johnson, Carrie Underwood, Britney Spears now he’s allegedly humping a hot 22 year old E. Illinois coed and on top of that he got a $100,000 boat for his birthday and I’m supposed to believe that he’s cursed? Seriously?

  27. I really wish all of the “Florio, you suck” commenters would cut it out. You’re wasting everyone’s time filling these boards with useless junk.
    Think what Florio writes isn’t worth much? Then don’t read it. How much less do you think your stupid comments are worth to everyone else? You’re just cluttering the page and wasting my time as I scan through comment after smartass comment from people who apparently think their contribution is somehow valuable to the rest of us.
    It’s not.
    Comment about the content of the story–discuss the issues. If you don’t like Florio, then write him an e-mail and insult him man to man. But you likely don’t have the guts to do that, so at least have the courtesy to spare us all from your insecure, gutless whining here.

  28. Only complaint I have about this site is the time it takes for reply to actually hit. I’m a pretty fast speed reader–how ’bout Florio and the rest of ’em just open up new posts & pay me to look for the 7 Carlin words. You guys don;t need to waste your time doing that crap & I could work from home. How about it Flo? I’m reasonable when it comes to salary…Hell, it’s NBC’s money now anyway

  29. Stop kissin’ a$$ redsquare.
    Now you’re leaving “stupid comments”.
    You’re not going to get a job.
    Step off your soap box.

  30. # VoxVeritas says: August 25, 2009 12:09 PM
    Millions of bucks, banged Jessica Simpson, Sophia Bush, Michelle Johnson, Carrie Underwood, Britney Spears now he’s allegedly humping a hot 22 year old E. Illinois coed and on top of that he got a $100,000 boat for his birthday and I’m supposed to believe that he’s cursed? Seriously?
    —————–
    He also has a fat internet troll with a neckbeard to gleefully slobber on his knob every time PFT has a post about him, Jerry Jones, or the NFC East.
    How lucky can one guy be!?

  31. So………Florio is at the supermarket, waiting in the checkout line, scanning the tabloids, when he sees the words Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo on the cover of the National Enquirer. Hurriedly he puts his dented cans, half pound of bologna and Kraft mac n cheese on the belt. He flips thu the pages. wow he thinks…….What a great story. Alot better than the MJ is still alive and living in Graceland headliner…..I think this is news worthy enough to inform the football fans that visit my site…..Is this for real?…..

  32. Jackal138 says:
    August 25, 2009 1:04 PM
    He also has a fat internet troll with a neckbeard to gleefully slobber on his knob every time PFT has a post about him, Jerry Jones, or the NFC East.
    How lucky can one guy be!?
    ——————————————–
    Too funny……..I wonder if this Bromance info was taken from the National Enquirer. Sure as hell seems like it………

  33. jesus.
    how old is jessica anyway? 5? she’s an idiot. this should make her radioactive to any other males she meets.

  34. redsquare,
    AMEN!! Thank you for posting that……way too many trolls in here!!!
    Vox,
    I don’t know if I’ve ever agreed with you before, but…I’m with you 100% on your 12:09 PM post!!!

  35. Ah, who are we kidding? Vox has been playing Dungeons and Dragons for years – if magic really worked, the Cowboys would have twenty Superbowls and he’d be dating Romo.

  36. Well, Romo could hire his own witch to reverse this spell. (He might have to drink something yucky or wear something that smells horrible, but I’m sure if he looks on the Internet, he dould find someone to remove the curse.)
    PS – @ Vox – 5 for your comment

  37. I doubt if anyone needs to put a curse on Romo!
    If you’ve watched Romo play, you can see he can crap his own pants in big games without any help from a witch!

  38. The curse primarily focuses on impeding Romo’s ability to fall in love again, but football failure also was included. (She apparently had a coupon, or something.)
    She possibly would have cursed Romo to forever look like Gomer Pyle, but someone already has beaten her to that one.
    —————————————————————————————–
    If Tony speaks like a moron like Gomer Pyle, that will take care of the inability to land a woman part.

  39. “# Jackal138 says: August 25, 2009 1:04 PM
    # VoxVeritas says: August 25, 2009 12:09 PM
    Millions of bucks, banged Jessica Simpson, Sophia Bush, Michelle Johnson, Carrie Underwood, Britney Spears now he’s allegedly humping a hot 22 year old E. Illinois coed and on top of that he got a $100,000 boat for his birthday and I’m supposed to believe that he’s cursed? Seriously?
    —————–
    He also has a fat internet troll with a neckbeard to gleefully slobber on his knob every time PFT has a post about him, Jerry Jones, or the NFC East.
    How lucky can one guy be!?”
    ————————
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  40. Jackal138 says:
    August 25, 2009 1:04 PM
    # VoxVeritas says: August 25, 2009 12:09 PM
    Millions of bucks, banged Jessica Simpson, Sophia Bush, Michelle Johnson, Carrie Underwood, Britney Spears now he’s allegedly humping a hot 22 year old E. Illinois coed and on top of that he got a $100,000 boat for his birthday and I’m supposed to believe that he’s cursed? Seriously?
    —————–
    He also has a fat internet troll with a neckbeard to gleefully slobber on his knob every time PFT has a post about him, Jerry Jones, or the NFC East.
    How lucky can one guy be!?
    _______________________________
    I know!
    Bash his teeth in with the butt end of your rifle!!
    THAT’LL fix ’em, won’t it?

  41. Witchcraft, huh?
    I guess that finally explains it.
    I mean, there’s just no other explanation for her fame, is there?
    And let’s not even talk about her sister and her Michael Jackson nose.
    (Well, Jessica is somewhat hot, if you’re into banging retards. Specifically, retards that have that whole bird-beak nose, spacey, buggy bird-eyed look, with a toothy over-bite, big ears, and that fat chick grandma-pants sort of look, then sure–she’s hot as hell. For ornithophiles.)

  42. hey, i use the term skullduggery periodically.
    your allegations regarding its lack of use are repugnant, florio! and hideous too.
    /////////////////////
    rodgers actually played hurt in 2008. butterfingers had a hurt pinkie.
    /////////////////////////////
    the cowboys need to hire coach pantsdropper fom the bay area. paradoxically, he could straighten them out.
    /////////////////////
    6-44*
    a collapse followed by a collapse. and preceded by a collapse vs. balto. bad news comes in threes! that means this must be the cowboys’ year…

  43. When Tony Romo hears this crap he cries all the way to the bank with a hot chick on his arm.
    MONEY FOR NOTHING, CHICKS FOR FREE.

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