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Friday morning one-liners

Bills WR Terrell Owens caught passes during individual drills at Thursday’s practice.

Said Patriots RB Fred Taylor, “I’m like the doctor. I’m
on call. Whenever my number is called, I’m ready. That’s what I am
these days. And I do house visits.”

Coach Rex Ryan isn’t crazy about either of the punters competing for the Jets job.

The battle for the primary kick returner job with the Ravens is down to cornerbacks Chris Carr and Lardarrius Webb.

Browns coach Eric Mangini reorganized the locker room in order to force players to get to know more of their teammates.

Steelers K Jeff Reed may miss Saturday’s game with the Bills because of a sprained ankle.

The memory of Vikings DE Jared Allen injuring QB Matt Schaub is fresh in the minds of the Texans.

The Colts expect CB Marlin Jackson to make his preseason debut on Saturday against the Lions.

QB Patrick Ramsey sat out Titans practice with sore ribs, but anticipates playing on Saturday night.

The Broncos will get their first full look at their rebuilt secondary when S Brian Dawkins makes his preseason debut on Saturday.

Chiefs RB Larry Johnson credits an improved supporting cast for his improved attitude.

Said Raiders coach Tom Cable as the team wrapped up training camp, “The thing that sticks out in
my mind more than anything is, we had a goal coming up here, and that
was to leave here a better team, closer. And we’ve
accomplished that
.”

Chargers coach Norv Turner hinted that we may have seen the last of RB LaDainian Tomlinson for the preseason.

The Cowboys released LB Justin Rogers and TE Rodney Hannah, each of whom spent the last two seasons with the club.

If the predicted bad weather in New York comes to fruition, the Giants may not get as much information about their wide receivers as they’d hoped.

Friday night’s game with the Patriots will essentially be the Redskins starters last chance to gel

With injuries all over the defensive backfield, the Bears still have questions about their secondary.

Manny Ramirez is pushing Daniel Loper for the Lions’ starting left guard job.

Packers coach Mike McCarthy said that QB Brian Brohm “needs to go out there and have some success” if he wants to move past Matt Flynn on the depth chart.

Said Vikings DE Jared Allen, “I don’t think we’re a fancy type of defense. We’re a
hit-you-in-the-mouth type of defense. That’s kind of our attitude. I
think when you try to get fancy you’re hiding something. We don’t have
anything to hide. We’ll line up in base defense and play anybody.”

Falcons DE Lawrence Sidbury, coming off a two-sack game, hopes he shows continued improvement against the Chargers.  

The Panthers’s search for help at defensive tackle hasn’t turned up any winners.

Saints RB Pierre Thomas has already been ruled out for Saturday’s game and may not play again in the preseason.

The Cardinals hope their first-team defense continues its strong play against the Packers on Friday night.

Rather than fret about competing with CB Dre’ Bly, 49ers CB Tarrell Brown is trying to learn as much as he can from the veteran.

The Seahawks will be trying to get the ball into the hands of WR Deion Branch this week.  

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10 Responses to “Friday morning one-liners”
  1. Dewey Axewound says: Aug 28, 2009 11:55 AM

    Said Vikings DE Jared Allen, “I don’t think we’re a fancy type of defense. We’re a hit-you-in-the-mouth type of defense. But we like it in the mouth, too. That’s kind of our attitude. I think when you try to get fancy you’re hiding something. We don’t have anything to hide. Really. Nothing whatsoever. We’re not cross-dressers or anything. We’ll line up like Rockettes in lingerie or in a base defense and cheap shot anybody. Right in the knees. Repeatedly. Plus we’ll drink you under the table. Then we can go drag race down main street just as the elementary schools are letting out. Hell, we’ll sell our very souls just for a washed up diva, too. Split the locker room harder than I split those sheep. Whatever it takes to get you working schmucks to buy some tickets. We’ll get Tice back to scalp you some, if we have to. We’ll take steroids, Starcaps, bong hits with Harvin. We’ll take a metal pole upside your head, or beat your ass outside a nightclub. And you know what else? Stuart Smalley is our state Senator–which means we’re good enough, we’re smart enough, and doggone it–people like us.”

  2. Hott Rodd says: Aug 28, 2009 11:59 AM

    “Manny Ramirez is pushing Daniel Loper for the Lions’ starting left guard job. ”
    I guess it’s true what they say about going off the juice making you gain weight. And how bad are the Lions that they have a post steroids Man-Ram as their starting left guard?

  3. rdesai says: Aug 28, 2009 2:03 PM

    “Said Patriots RB Fred Taylor, “I’m like the doctor. “”
    Well “Fragile” Fred Taylor should know a lot about doctors since he’s spent such a large part of his career injured.

  4. Mangy66 says: Aug 28, 2009 2:49 PM

    “Friday night’s game with the Patriots will essentially be the Redskins starters last chance to gel. ”
    GENIUS!!!!!
    I mean…cuz isn’t every team’s 2nd to last preseason game the teams’ starters last chance to gel?
    Frikkin’ GENIUS!!!

  5. loudgazelle says: Aug 28, 2009 3:07 PM

    no one liner for the Bengals?

  6. RagnartheViking says: Aug 28, 2009 3:08 PM

    Resident gay porn script writer Dewey with his latest offering. Yawn.
    Man, you were talking about 1 trick pony Berrian earlier. What does that make you?
    It wasn’t funny the 1st time, so I guess after 900,444,888 times it will be?
    Were you dropped on the head as a child? Repeatedly? On purpose I bet.
    I’m sure mommy tried, but you’re still here. That is a shame.
    Thats ok Axewound, you are rapidly making it known to everyone what the word pathetic means.

  7. JayBot says: Aug 28, 2009 3:52 PM

    “Bills WR Terrell Owens caught passes during individual drills at Thursday’s practice. ”
    It could have easily said: “Bills WR Terrell Owens dropped passes during individual drills at Thursday’s practice.”
    The two always go hand-in-hand with that guy.

  8. jimicos says: Aug 29, 2009 12:14 AM

    You need to check the transcript. I’m 95% sure Jared Allen said they’re a “hit you in the knee” type of defense.

  9. SaintsBucsPanthersSUKK says: Aug 29, 2009 6:27 PM

    Super Bowl preview today at 5:00, Falcons vs. Chargers. Steelers don’t make it back ‘cos Ben be thinkin’ with his Dick Dastardly. Florio has the automatic checker scanning for the seven “colorful metaphors”, sooooooooo………… Equationmania!:
    Tom Brady > Ben Roethlisberger
    Ben Roethlisberger Florio, Jr.
    Brass Monkey The Office

  10. SaintsBucsPanthersSUKK says: Aug 29, 2009 6:34 PM

    Florio = nimrod supreme

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