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Whizzinator winning bidder has big plans for it

On Friday night, the Whizzinator formerly owned by former Vikings running back Onterrio Smith drew a winning bid of $750 at an auction of Smith-related memorabilia.

Per Sean Jensen of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, the item has been acquired by Matt Little, owner of Buster’s Sports Bar & Grill in Mankato, where the Vikings hold their training camp each year.

As it turns out, Little will get a write off; he plans to use the urine-test cheating tool as a decoration at the club.

I want to be the new training camp headquarters for the Vikings,” Little said.

And so the device will be placed under cglass and displayed among player jerseys.  (Given the proximity to Vikings’ camp, where urine is annually harvested by the league office, perhaps Little should attach to the case a small hammer and a sign that reads “break glass in the event of emergency.”)

Meanwhile, Little also plans to bring Smith and his former property together.  “I got a guy who knows Onterrio, so we want to do a reunion,” he said.  “How classic would that be?

Little also should buy the script to The John Bobbitt Story, and present an evening of dinner theater at the club. 

The menu would sort of write itself.

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29 Responses to “Whizzinator winning bidder has big plans for it”
  1. wvugrad00 says: Aug 31, 2009 8:00 AM

    “And so the device will be placed under class and displayed among player jerseys”
    I believe you mean “under glass” because I am not certain what kind of class the wizzinator would fall under

  2. Igottz5onit says: Aug 31, 2009 8:01 AM

    Sounds about right.

  3. Burritto says: Aug 31, 2009 8:07 AM

    “And so the device will be placed under class and displayed among player jerseys.”
    Under class? Like the editing on this site?

  4. RexRyan'sStressedLapband says: Aug 31, 2009 8:14 AM

    LOL @ the whole article.
    Are you sure he isn’t placing that thing under glass?

  5. cannonarm says: Aug 31, 2009 8:18 AM

    ” so the device will be placed under class”
    exactly

  6. Ralph Gre Nader says: Aug 31, 2009 8:20 AM

    Goddamn people are stupid. No wonder our economy is in the sh-tter. Good thing he didnt invest that money in stocks or bonds….or, I dont know, maybe a college fund for any children or future children. Instead this idiot invests in a rubber phallus. And Im supposed to have faith in mankind? Ill give it another 150 years before were all extinct or slaves to a super species of Apes.

  7. tbtsm15 says: Aug 31, 2009 8:27 AM

    Nothing says “Classy place to eat” like a big penis hanging on the wall

  8. Florios_a_tool says: Aug 31, 2009 8:35 AM

    Yeah sure, now there’s a decoration I want hanging on MY wall.
    [/rolling eyes]. I hope this clown doesn’t get ahold of a Brett Favre turd. Probably build a mini-shrine from it.
    ..some twisted people in Minnesota.

  9. Nevisyakker says: Aug 31, 2009 8:35 AM

    “And so the device will be placed under class and displayed”
    I suppose that this was supposed to be “under glass” but if there was ever a place for an understandable Freudian slip, this would be it.
    Can you imagine sitting down for your burger and fires only to look up at that thing?
    Mabe they can use it as a refill tool to freshen your coke during the meal?

  10. Ben Roetlisbunger says: Aug 31, 2009 8:35 AM

    I hope I can someday eat dinner next to a big rubber d*ck.

  11. borg says: Aug 31, 2009 8:39 AM

    Stay classy Minnesota

  12. tj.52 says: Aug 31, 2009 8:55 AM

    I gave mine to the Goodwill.

  13. tv says: Aug 31, 2009 9:23 AM

    Who gives a piss about this?

  14. c.carterhof says: Aug 31, 2009 9:24 AM

    Maybe he could put it to good use…
    http://www.dailynorseman.com/2009/8/19/994518/this-should-give-you-guys-a

  15. akuehn713 says: Aug 31, 2009 9:44 AM

    Screw that, I say make a beer tapper out of it.

  16. Florios_a_tool says: Aug 31, 2009 9:45 AM

    “…# tj.52 says: August 31, 2009 8:55 AM
    I gave mine to the Goodwill….”
    Yup, all Ravens fans have one.

  17. SaintsBucsPanthersSUKK says: Aug 31, 2009 9:51 AM

    under eglass

  18. JimmySmith says: Aug 31, 2009 9:56 AM

    Why not purchase the Love Boat and do dinner cruises, they could raffle off scalped Superbowl tickets. Given the Viking’s sordid past, the possibilities are limited only by the imagination.

  19. dcfan-1212450 says: Aug 31, 2009 10:09 AM

    Husband: Hey honey, what sports bar would you like to go see the Vikings game at?
    Wife: I dunno, how bout the one that smells like piss?
    H: Oh you mean the one displaying that device giant lineman put there genitals in and urinate in?
    W: Ya that one. Doesnt that sound like fun?
    H: Oh yeah, makes me hungry just thinking about it…

  20. Abe Froeman says: Aug 31, 2009 10:14 AM

    You need to edit your edits.

  21. SteelTown6 says: Aug 31, 2009 10:40 AM

    “…# akuehn713 says: August 31, 2009 9:44 AM
    Screw that, I say make a beer tapper out of it….”
    LMAO

  22. SpartaChris says: Aug 31, 2009 10:55 AM

    Ralph Gre Nader says:
    August 31, 2009 8:20 AM
    Goddamn people are stupid. No wonder our economy is in the sh-tter. Good thing he didnt invest that money in stocks or bonds….or, I dont know, maybe a college fund for any children or future children. Instead this idiot invests in a rubber phallus. And Im supposed to have faith in mankind? Ill give it another 150 years before were all extinct or slaves to a super species of Apes.
    =========================================
    Dude, did you even RTFA? This wasn’t some random guy buying something he and his idiot friends could get a kick out of. The buyer is the owner of a sports bar who plans to display the thing. The purchase was a “decoration” for his bar, aka a tax write off.

  23. ONSLAUGHT says: Aug 31, 2009 11:50 AM

    I am from Mankato and go to Busters often. Matt Little is not a ordinary guy. He is under the age of 30, owns 3 business’ in Mankato, and is a sports fanatic. He also will be getting multi millions of dollars in the future when his grandparents pass away. He has plenty of money to spend on what ever he wants.
    I personally think its pretty funny. I wouldn’t have spent $750 on it, but Im an ordinary guy…. with out a trust fund! haha

  24. fryingpan says: Aug 31, 2009 12:42 PM

    I remember this jackoff. He claimed to be the Steal of the Draft.
    He shaved SOD on the side of his head.
    what a loser.

  25. CanadianVikingFan says: Aug 31, 2009 1:09 PM

    The title made me a little worried…

  26. jimicos says: Aug 31, 2009 1:56 PM

    Now can we buy Fred Smoot’s burned jock strap?

  27. Dewey Axewound says: Aug 31, 2009 3:27 PM

    Yeah, but how much is he gonna charge the Vikings players when they want to come in and take rides on it?
    Or when they want to use it to practice their horn-blowing for whenever Brett deigns to acknowledge them?

  28. Lionglass says: Aug 31, 2009 11:37 PM

    The menu would write itself in the snow, right?

  29. madM100 says: Sep 2, 2009 10:54 AM

    Dick under glass.

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