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Monday afternoon one-liners

Bills DE Chris Kelsay on his team’s reaction to Chan Gailey’s hiring: “We’re very impressed, very excited.”

With Mike Nolan in Miami, LB Elvis Dumervil could be on the Dolphins’ radar. (Good luck with that.)

SI’s Peter King thinks Patriots coach Pepper Johnson will not be a happy man if he doesn’t get the defensive coordinator gig.

Ravens RB Jalen Parmele expects to compete for kick returns next season.

Bengals special teams coach Darrin Simmons loves his young group of players.

Tony Grossi of the Cleveland Plain-Dealer wouldn’t be surprised if the Browns trade Shaun Rogers.

Steelers S Ryan Clark may be able to get more money if he leaves Pittsburgh as a free agent.

The Jaguars face the fifth-toughest schedule in the league next season on paper.

Texans LB Zac Diles had more tackles for loss in the regular season than his big name teammates.

The game-winning touchdown catch by Titans WR Kenny Britt against Arizona is a nominee for the NFL’s can’t miss play of the year.

Nate Burleson “hears” about the possibility of Broncos WR Brandon Marshall going to Seattle, but we suspect he’s passing around internet conjecture. Can’t trust stuff like that.

Chiefs G.M. Scott Pioli talked about his recent coaching hires, and his love of Blue Oyster Cult in a recent a radio appearance.

The saga of WR Javon Walker and the rest of the Raiders receivers is a great lens to examine the dysfunction in Oakland, says Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle.

Chargers fans: Here’s your chance to meet the real “Boltman.”

One week later, Cowboys LB Keith Brooking is still getting killed in the media. He was put on a list of the all-time biggest whiners . . . by a Philadelphia reporter.

The Giants have high hopes for T William Beatty, but he needs to get stronger.

The recent stir about steroid allegations regarding Michael Vick isn’t getting much attention in Philadelphia.

New Redskins offensive assistant Sean McVay is so young, he played college football at Miami of Ohio, but got there after Ben Roethlisberger left.

Bears WR Devin Aromoshodu can be a “starter and a big-time guy” in the league, according to Reggie Wayne.

The Lions are now the only NFC team to never make a Super Bowl.

The headline in Green Bay: “Oops, same old Brett.” The first line of the article by the great Bob McGinn: “Joy reigns in Packerland. Brett Favre has struck out.”

The Falcons have to make a decision about “nasty boy” G Harvey Dahl.

Only Philip Rivers had a higher passer rating than Panthers QB Matt Moore in the final five weeks of the season.

How bad were the Bucs last year? Despite all the Pro Bowl replacements, no one from Tampa Bay has been called yet.

The mock drafts have started and the Arizona Republic thinks the Cardinals need a tackle like Oklahoma’s Trent Williams.

Pete Carroll was described as a “little boy that looks like he needs to go to the bathroom” in an entertaining conversation with KJR950 in Seattle.

Rams G.M. Billy Devaney on upgrading his talent base: “We need playmakers. That’s what we have to get on our team right now, that’s what we have to get: guys that can score touchdowns from way out, guys that can sack the quarterback, make a difference, impact a game.”

The 49ers could look for a change-of-pace back after a disappointing rookie year from Glen Coffee.