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Rex Ryan has "scheduled procedure"

Maybe Rex Ryan’s pitch to running back LaDainian Tomlinson included an offer to have something cut off.

Rich Cimini of the New York Daily News reports via Twitter that the Jets have announced that Ryan was hospitalized today for a “scheduled procedure.”

The team provided no further details, but Cimini says that the matter is not believed to be serious.

All kidding aside, we send our best wishes to Ryan.  Serious or not, scheduled or otherwise, no “procedure” is pleasant.

Permalink 33 Comments Feed for comments Latest Stories in: New York Jets, Rumor Mill, Sprint Football Live - Rumors, Top Stories
33 Responses to “Rex Ryan has "scheduled procedure"”
  1. Cannon says: Mar 13, 2010 11:19 PM

    Lap Band

  2. Roger Goodell's a tool. says: Mar 13, 2010 11:22 PM

    Gastric bypass.

  3. SporkdeviI says: Mar 13, 2010 11:23 PM

    I’m unsure what the exact latin phrase is, but I believe it translates to “corndog removal”.

  4. NarDawg says: Mar 13, 2010 11:24 PM

    Maybe he got that grotesque jowl bag removed.

  5. LewD says: Mar 13, 2010 11:25 PM

    liposuction?

  6. seaner44 says: Mar 13, 2010 11:25 PM

    tummy tuck?

  7. FinFan says: Mar 13, 2010 11:26 PM

    Tummy Tuck?

  8. gopher says: Mar 13, 2010 11:31 PM

    It was to remove his foot from his mouth.

  9. TFBuckFutter says: Mar 13, 2010 11:42 PM

    Did he have a chin removed?
    6 more procedures and he’ll be down to half a dozen.

  10. Vanessa says: Mar 13, 2010 11:43 PM

    Praying for you Rex. This Raven’s fanatic will always love you. Take care of yourself.

  11. RayDaMayor says: Mar 13, 2010 11:49 PM

    Downsizing from a 64GGG to a 58DDD breast size.

  12. wyobroncoboy says: Mar 13, 2010 11:52 PM

    I like a lot of what Rex is doing. I also think the Jets will be contenders for yrs to come. But Rex is a fatfck, and is going to die if he doesn’t do something about his weight.
    Hopefully it’s
    Lipo
    Lipo
    Lipo

  13. Nathan says: Mar 13, 2010 11:58 PM

    prostate. obviously.

  14. raidresnation says: Mar 14, 2010 12:03 AM

    Removal of a testicle.

  15. NinerInsider says: Mar 14, 2010 12:05 AM

    Jaw wired shut?

  16. iclightpounder says: Mar 14, 2010 12:12 AM

    The doctors told him they had to do a colonoscopy to see if there was a holiday ham up there. They told him it would the sensation would be like a “rocket to Uranus”.

  17. HereThere says: Mar 14, 2010 12:16 AM

    Not a big fan of Ryan’s, but hope everything’s okay. Good luck, big guy.

  18. MasterShake says: Mar 14, 2010 12:22 AM

    To avoid injury and as a tribute to Brett Favre, he had his taint removed.

  19. VoxVagina says: Mar 14, 2010 12:31 AM

    Lol I’m sure this headline was worded intentionally for all the people to come on and make fat jokes

  20. oraclepz says: Mar 14, 2010 12:37 AM

    breast reduction

  21. Purple says: Mar 14, 2010 12:47 AM

    Rex Ryan’s only normal “scheduled procedure” involves his daily, articulatley crafted, ham sandwich. Submarine style and massive in girth, with so many add-ons it would make Andy Reid do a double take.

  22. funi says: Mar 14, 2010 1:19 AM

    Eat more fiber so you would not need lipo! Are you going to be the new Jared? By the way, you still won’t win a championship no matte rif you weigh 350 or 250!

  23. SmackMyVickUp.com says: Mar 14, 2010 1:23 AM

    Best wishes Sexy Rexy.

  24. Thunderbolt says: Mar 14, 2010 1:39 AM

    I’d wish him well, but he might send back a couple of one-fingered salutes…

  25. HappyBunny says: Mar 14, 2010 1:45 AM

    Duh, it’s gotta be gastric bypass. Come on, whoe DIDN’T think that?

  26. mnmaverick says: Mar 14, 2010 3:02 AM

    ROFLMAO
    I’m impressed with all the educated guesses. = )

  27. Anrkist says: Mar 14, 2010 3:06 AM

    Colonoscopy.

  28. Adam says: Mar 14, 2010 3:25 AM

    Whatever it is, it will help him prevent having a friggin heart attack down the line and lose weight.
    Love ya big fella, the NY media NEEDS you!
    Very glad his health is being monitored.
    He’s sorta like Chris Farley. Has WWAAAAAYYY too much physical energy than a man his size should.

  29. Adam says: Mar 14, 2010 3:29 AM

    NEW YORK — New York Jets coach Rex Ryan has undergone a weight-loss procedure to help him fight obesity.
    The husky Ryan had lap-band surgery Saturday at NYU Medical Center, and was relaxing at his home in New Jersey, team spokesman Bruce Speight told The Associated Press.
    “The New York Daily News first reported the story on its Web site Sunday morning.
    The 47-year-old Ryan has frequently poked fun at himself and his rotund midsection, including after unflattering belly bearing photos of him changing into a jersey during a Florida-Carolina NHL game floated around the Internet.
    Speight said Ryan also had a hernia repaired.
    Ryan weighed 340 pounds at the start of last season, gaining at least 30 pounds after he was hired by the Jets in January 2009.
    Copyright 2010 by The Associated Press”
    What’s a lap band?

  30. MagicMan407 says: Mar 14, 2010 3:45 AM

    HAHAHAHAHA, REX RYAN IS FAT!

  31. wyobroncoboy says: Mar 14, 2010 4:06 AM

    Okay, a staple will help in the future. He needs Lipo NOW TOO….

  32. Jaydub says: Mar 14, 2010 10:05 AM

    Hopefully they zipped his big mouth shut

  33. Miamifinzfan says: Mar 14, 2010 11:41 AM

    Uhhh, You can’t fix stupid.

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