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Monday morning one-liners

The Bills held cheerleader tryouts on Sunday.
Mock drafts can’t seem to reach a consensus with regard to the Dolphins’ first-round pick.
Patriots RB Sammy Morris is pleased with the team’s offseason moves.
Jets G.M. Mike Tannenbaum reiterated that he believes RB Leon Washington (broken leg) should be 100 percent by the preseason.
Thought to be disgruntled in Baltimore, backup QB Troy Smith has reportedly been around the Ravens’ facility throughout the early portion of the offseason.
Bengals QB Carson Palmer (thumb surgery) is still 4-6 weeks away from resuming throwing passes.
The Browns are expected to use a draft pick on a quarterback to compete with Seneca Wallace and Jake Delhomme, so third QB Brett Ratliff may be expendable.
The party after which Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger allegedly sexually assaulted a 20-year-old girl was reportedly nicknamed “Ben-a-palooza.”
Texans owner Bob McNair reportedly has a net worth of $1.4 billion.
The Jaguars are conducting a private workout for Florida A&M KR/DB LeRoy Vann on Monday.
Jason McCourty and Ryan Mouton are currently slated to complete for the starting job opposite Titans CB Cortland Finnegan.

New Broncos QB Brady Quinn believes his trade to Denver presents him with “a great opportunity…to play under a great coach.”

Saturday marked the end of a five-day streak during which the Chiefs announced a daily free agent signing.
The third-round pick the Raiders surrendered in the Kamerion Wimbley trade was the same one they got from New England in last summer’s Derrick Burgess deal.
Giants RB Brandon Jacobs may miss the start of the team’s offseason conditioning program due to the expected birth of his son.
Former NFL QB Rich Gannon believes that the Eagles would benefit if QB Donovan McNabb worked out in the team’s offseason program, rather than in Arizona.
Mike Lombardi of the NFL Network has Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen headed to the Redskins with the No. 4 overall pick in the draft.
The Bears remain interested in re-signing free agent LB Pisa Tinoisamoa, according to Dan Pompei of the Chicago Tribune.

The Lions will ease QB Matthew Stafford into their offseason program as he comes back from knee and shoulder injuries.
According to the Green Bay Press-Gazette, Packers T/G T.J. Lang is expected to “make a strong bid” to become a full-time starter this year.
J. Michael Moore of AtlantaFalcons.com answered fans’ questions in a recent question-and-answer session on the team’s website.
The Panthers may target RB DeAngelo Williams for a contract extension this offseason.
Free agent TE Billy Miller, who most recently played with the Saints, runs a gym in Southern California called Elite Athletics where many NFL athletes train.
The Bucs reportedly opted against re-signing WR Antonio Bryant because they believed his attitude would hinder young QB Josh Freeman’s development.
Mike Lombardi of the National Football Post predicts that QB Matt Leinart won’t be the Cardinals’ Week One starter.
Back from vacation in Cabo, new 49ers QB David Carr is expected to hand deliver his signed contract to the organization on Monday.
New Seahawks TE Chris Baker will likely serve as the blocking complement for catch-first starter John Carlson in Seattle.
C/G Hank Fraley’s new contract with the Rams is believed to span three years.
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12 Responses to “Monday morning one-liners”
  1. BBB82 says: Mar 15, 2010 10:26 AM

    “Ben-a-palooza”?
    Yeah, he isn’t full of himself or anything….[/sarcasm]

  2. DG0122 says: Mar 15, 2010 10:26 AM

    “Founder of Cogen Technologies sold firm to Enron for $1.5 billion in cash and stock at peak of tech bubble; immediately sold stock, avoided Enron bankruptcy. Used cash to bring football back to Houston in 2002 when the NFL expanded. Today 70% stake in Houston Texans worth $600 million net of debt; squad posted first winning record in history this past season. Sold Kentucky’s Stonerside Stables to Dubai’s Sheik Mohammed in 2008.”
    The reason the Texans are cursed- McNair bought the franchise with dirty Enron money

  3. jimicos says: Mar 15, 2010 10:39 AM

    Jim Becker of Racine, Wisconsin has been named to the Packers’ Fan Hall of Fame.
    ————————-
    What’s the matter, Evan? Get tired of looking up new stories so you resorted to the same one-liner as yesterday?

  4. THE strobman says: Mar 15, 2010 10:57 AM

    nothing on the cowboys today?

  5. mustbechris says: Mar 15, 2010 11:05 AM

    “Former NFL QB Rich Gannon believes that the Eagles would benefit if QB Donovan McNabb worked out in the team’s offseason program, rather than in Arizona.”
    …He works out WITH HIS RECEIVERS in Arizona. Rich Gannon needs to shut up.
    And Ben-A-Palooza…I don’t even know how to respond to that. I can’t figure out if I should laugh or shake my head. Almost as good as that picture of A-Rod as a centaur that A-Rod keeps in his bedroom.

  6. ZombieRevolution says: Mar 15, 2010 11:19 AM

    Michael Lombardi writes: Arizona is far from convinced that Matt Leinart is its short- or long-term answer at quarterback. His work ethic and commitment continue to be questioned, I’m told by sources in the Cardinals building.
    Sources in the building. At times writers like Muchael and Florio seem to have the easiest and most cowardly job in the world. There might be true rumblings in the Cards organization, but “sources in the building” could mean a coach or a towel boy. This is an attack on Leinart without providing a shred of evidence or further background. Lazy journalism at its best.

  7. LovinBlue says: Mar 15, 2010 11:30 AM

    Nothing on the Colts?

  8. Popinjay says: Mar 15, 2010 11:50 AM

    Gotta give Quinn credit, he’s leaving Cleveland with class, unlike Anderson.

  9. .VoxVeritas says: Mar 15, 2010 11:57 AM

    “…He works out WITH HIS RECEIVERS in Arizona.”
    If they decide to. Desean Jackson turned down the offer to work with him in his rookie off-season. Brown and Curtis didn’t show up in ’08, either. Whoever shows up works away from the rest of the team. Might be a big part of why McNabb is considered a “company man”. Also given the 0-3gles’ recent history of ruining young WR prospects, might want to change that up a bit. Essentially they’re bringing the mountain to Mohammad.

  10. nhat says: Mar 15, 2010 1:46 PM

    what is with these idiots (kiper and lombardi) having the redskins select clausen with the 4th pick overall???
    1. clausen isn’t worth a #4 pick
    2. how can you pass up on okung after losing a LT that protected every qb on the team for the past 10yrs?
    3. who’s gonna block for portis and johnson?
    4. qb is the most important position on the team, but many teams make it to the playoffs by running the ball well and playing shutdown defense. i don’t see clausen helping with either.

  11. johnthehillboy says: Mar 15, 2010 3:39 PM

    Nothing on the Chargers?

  12. Saint33 says: Mar 15, 2010 4:12 PM

    Nothing on the Vikings?
    lol just keeping up the running theme

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