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Meet Jim Bob Cooter

In our most recent post, we mentioned that Jim Bob Cooter has been promoted from staff assistant to offensive assistant.  It was the first time we’d ever heard the name “Jim Bob Cooter,” and it sounded like a made up name.

Or perhaps it’s an alias.

A reader points out that Cooter, as of last July, was facing aggravated burglary charges after allegedly climbing through the window of a woman’s apartment and getting into bed with her.

If true, even Ben Roethlisberger thinks the guy is an idiot.

But there’s more.  In 2006, Jim Bob was busted for DUI while he was a member of the University of Tennessee football team.  Also in the car with him was an underage female with an open container of alcohol.

So apparently the “privilege not a right” thing applies only to playing in the NFL, not coaching in it.

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54 Responses to “Meet Jim Bob Cooter”
  1. pfii63 says: Mar 19, 2010 9:30 PM

    Stay classy, Colts.

  2. CookieFlash says: Mar 19, 2010 9:32 PM

    Didn’t he drive the tow truck on The Dukes of Hazard?

  3. trademcscab says: Mar 19, 2010 9:33 PM

    hahahaha a burgler that wanted to cuddle……the bottle of alcohol was def his good friend jimmy beam………
    girl: what are you doing get out of my bed!!!!
    Cooter: shhhhhh i know payton manning its ok

  4. Drat says: Mar 19, 2010 9:34 PM

    Sounds like he’ll be the perfect offensive assistant for a QB who dragged his rectum across the face of a female trainer.
    The Steelers have suddenly dropped to second place in the race for the team with the most disgusting male chauvinists/criminals.

  5. Skin_Flute says: Mar 19, 2010 9:40 PM

    Any word on what particular style of mullet Jim Bob Cooter is rocking these days?

  6. says: Mar 19, 2010 9:40 PM

    So apparently the “privilege not a right” thing applies only to playing in the NFL, not coaching in it.
    Just a saying anymore. Never held any weight and sure doesn’t now.
    National Felon League never fit the NFL more.

  7. LewD says: Mar 19, 2010 9:41 PM

    Also ticketed: An underage female companion, for underage drinking and having an open container. Not to worry, though: They’re cousins, it’s all fine.
    all in the family????
    Jim Bob Cooter? former UT QB? she must have volunteered …

  8. BillsFan27 says: Mar 19, 2010 9:41 PM

    The Steelers still hold the #1, slightly. Big Ben surely has one more in him.

  9. TFBuckFutter says: Mar 19, 2010 9:43 PM

    I don’t generally support racial profiling…..
    But when someone elects to go by 2 nicknames as their name, maybe don’t hire them. It’s all I’m saying.
    Aside from Billy Bob Thornton, it never works out well.

  10. IStateYourName says: Mar 19, 2010 9:44 PM

    He didn’t mean no harm. Just JimBob being JimBob.

  11. MasterShake says: Mar 19, 2010 9:48 PM

    Oh yeah!
    PITTSBURGH — Police say a man broke into a Pittsburgh home and climbed into bed with its owner, apparently because he was drunk and cold following a rap concert.
    Homeowner Frank Fontana says he was in bed when the man climbed in about 5:30 Wednesday morning. Fontana says he asked whether it was a woman who has keys to his home — and he grabbed a baseball bat when a deep male voice answered, “No, it’s not.”
    Police say Fontana kept the man at bay until police arrived but didn’t hit him with the bat.
    Police say the intruder told them he was looking for shelter after a Tuesday night concert by rapper Jay-Z at the Mellon Arena.
    The 33-year-old man faces a preliminary hearing on charges of criminal mischief and criminal trespass.

  12. Beave says: Mar 19, 2010 9:49 PM

    Florio, please ask the NFL front office why he wasn’t disciplined for the burglary charges? He was employed by an NFL team at the time right?

  13. blueridge624 says: Mar 19, 2010 9:52 PM

    Stay classy,Colts. How did they miss out on Richie Incognito? With Marvin “the Shootist” Harrison out of the picture, I guess there is a big hole in the Colts organization that only something called Jim Bob Cooter could fill.

  14. Tetrahydrocannibinol says: Mar 19, 2010 9:53 PM

    So do the Colts bother to do any sort of background checks on their coaches? Or do they just not care if the guy is a drunken perverted hillbilly??

  15. M P V 13 says: Mar 19, 2010 9:54 PM

    Jim Bob Cooter is the alias of Cecil “The Diesel” Collins.

  16. WTE says: Mar 19, 2010 9:55 PM

    Suppity Sup on the Wup Wup!

  17. DirtyLilJohnny says: Mar 19, 2010 9:57 PM

    No no no, Mr. Florio you must have Jim Bob Cooter confused with BOB JIM Cooter. I understand, it’s easy to get them mixed up.

  18. favresux says: Mar 19, 2010 10:06 PM

    and his good buddy Roscoe P. Coltrane

  19. Kelly says: Mar 19, 2010 10:07 PM

    Patrick I want my WWCD (What Would Cooter Do?) shirt back. I told you he would make it to the NFL conversation.

  20. Unnamed Source says: Mar 19, 2010 10:08 PM

    Ron Mexico = greatest alias ever

  21. Fonetik says: Mar 19, 2010 10:10 PM

    girl: what are you doing get out of my bed!!!!
    Cooter: shhhhhh i know payton manning its ok
    Ahaha I just lol’d all over myself

  22. BrianPiccolo says: Mar 19, 2010 10:12 PM

    Perfect name to be a porn actor.

  23. billsrock1212 says: Mar 19, 2010 10:15 PM

    Well Florio, I would bet you just cost this guy his job and the Colts some serious embarrassment. If only your reporting wasn’t so popular. Maybe you should still be a lawyer 😉

  24. The Wishbone says: Mar 19, 2010 10:18 PM

    I say give this guy a break. With name “Jim Bob” his parents are obviously terrible, heartless, soulless people. There’s no telling what they did to him. And with the last name “Cooter”, he’s been called “P—y” his entire life.
    If drinking with underage girls was illegal, we’d all be in jail. Am I right or am I right?!

  25. The Wishbone says: Mar 19, 2010 10:20 PM

    @ Florio,
    “If true, even Ben Roethlisberger thinks the guy is an idiot.”
    Clearly you don’t know much about Ben “Twice the subject of sexual assault allegations” Roethlisberger. He’d obviously admire the hell outta this “Jim” “Bob” “Cooter” guy.

  26. aious says: Mar 19, 2010 10:22 PM

    Love the name
    Love it
    I want him as my 3rd team QB

  27. Brewster says: Mar 19, 2010 10:25 PM

    With Tom Moore and Howard Mudd gone the Colts will have serious issues next year, regardless of whether they have a coach by the name of jim bob cooter on the staff or not.

  28. DC_Bengals_Fan says: Mar 19, 2010 10:28 PM

    Jim Bob Cooter? That’s a better fake name than Ron Mexico by far.

  29. Sarge says: Mar 19, 2010 10:29 PM

    He’s got his own clothing line:

  30. Lombardi 6 says: Mar 19, 2010 10:36 PM

    Thanx for reminding me that it’s cooter time..

  31. vbhall78 says: Mar 19, 2010 11:05 PM

    Ohh this is too funny!!!!

  32. Gautam says: Mar 19, 2010 11:09 PM

    what the hell … this guy sounds like the anti-Colt!

  33. contraryguy says: Mar 19, 2010 11:14 PM

    Shame he didn’t play for Houston Nutt in Arkansas alongside Casey Dick. oh the headlines.

  34. adeem4578 says: Mar 19, 2010 11:29 PM

    hah Cooter

  35. Poo Flinging Monkey says: Mar 19, 2010 11:34 PM

    Who does he think he is… Robert Downey, Jr?

  36. 8man says: Mar 19, 2010 11:43 PM

    girl: what are you doing get out of my bed!!!!
    Cooter: shhhhhh i know payton manning its ok

    From the Urban Dictionary
    Most commonly associated with the friendly grease monkey character from the Dukes of Hazard. Now a slang term referring to the female sex organ.
    See also snatch pussy vagina
    Did you lick her cooter?

    My God! There is too much material here! And sadly…I have nothing.

  37. Mean D says: Mar 19, 2010 11:48 PM

    Drat is right. Peyton Manning is every bit the pig.

  38. It puts the lotion on the skin says: Mar 19, 2010 11:51 PM

    So, basically, if your local NFL team is hosting the Colts, or Steelers, you might want to ship your women to Canada for the weekend just to be safe…..

  39. dzil says: Mar 20, 2010 12:25 AM

    BREAKING NEWS: Jim Bob Cooter just announced that he’s engaged to Tony Washington’s little sister. Seems she’s reminds him of being back home in Tennessee.

  40. Adam says: Mar 20, 2010 2:29 AM

    Sounds like someone Kenny Powers played with.
    Wonder how many text messages Big Ben’s made?

  41. CKL says: Mar 20, 2010 3:05 AM

    Let’s see… Zeirlein (SP) the Steelers OL coach was ridiculed after a well publicized porno distribution no no…the Lions had a public nudie driving assistant coach who I believe was disciplined and again it was well publicized. The Raiders had Cable with his legal woes well publicized. The Cowboys had Wilson who was buying HGH I think because he couldn’t…uhh..perform and again well publicized and he was disciplined. But let the Colts have some turd and the only place we will ever hear about it is PFT. MAN I hate that sanctimonious bunch of hypocritical MFers (the Colts).

  42. Drat says: Mar 20, 2010 5:36 AM

    Imagine the get-together, maybe at Peyton Place. Ron Mexico. Jim Bob Cooter. Peyton Manning. They would hang out for a bit, break into a dog apartment, drink with some underaged dogs, give them herpes, kill them, after a good rectum drag.
    Add Wishbone to the party. Hey, Wishbone, yes, drinking with underage girls is something we’ve all done. WHEN WE WERE UNDERAGE, you big goof, you.

  43. Drat says: Mar 20, 2010 6:05 AM

    At least he’s not JimBob Wayne Cooter.

  44. Gaiterdan65 says: Mar 20, 2010 6:53 AM

    The best part is, that Tony Washington Link dosen’t say why hes a sex offender.
    Sex with his sister.
    … gross, even Jim Bob would disaprove

  45. Dr Hiram J Puddlestone says: Mar 20, 2010 7:06 AM

  46. jallen69 says: Mar 20, 2010 8:52 AM

    Ricky Bobby?

  47. Took_a_Cerrato,_Wiping_My_Snyder says: Mar 20, 2010 9:21 AM

    @ Dr Hiram J Puddlestone: is f-ing PERFECT. Hilarious!

  48. JimmySmithBlows says: Mar 20, 2010 9:48 AM

    This guy has to be a Western PA product. With their high number of toothless, hillbillys and sexual predators in their population, Cooter has to be from Greensburg or Washington, PA or he could be from Findlay, Ohio.

  49. funi says: Mar 20, 2010 1:14 PM

    A hick from Tennessee called Jim Bob? I bet he is from West Virgina, makes moonshine and had a “date” with his sister a few times!

  50. AmishGangsta says: Mar 20, 2010 2:34 PM

    As a Colts fan, I normally try to defend my team but……I’ve got nothing on this one.
    Carry on.

  51. floriosadildo says: Mar 20, 2010 2:58 PM

    Damn, 2006?…..wonder if she’s legal now?

  52. Biff Henderson says: Mar 20, 2010 3:25 PM

    Thanks Rog.

  53. harrytbaggs says: Mar 20, 2010 3:30 PM

    This guy has the second greatest name behind me. Harry T. Baggs

  54. PureIgnorance says: Mar 21, 2010 4:48 PM

    Best name ever!! Irsay, please make him head coach and ship Caldwell’s carcas out of town!!

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