Kurt Warner's life could be headed for the silver screen

With a lid finally being placed on quarterback Kurt Warner’s NFL career, the likely Hall of Famer could see his life story turned into a film.

Bernie Miklasz of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch recently reported that Warner has been approached by a producer regarding the possibility.

And it makes sense.  The success of The Blind Side will cause similar real-life football stories to receive consideration for silver-screen treatment, and Warner’s rags-to-riches-to-rags-to-riches roller-coaster ride would fit nicely with the formula that we often see in such efforts.

Miklasz also made some partially tongue-in-cheek predictions as to possible casting decisions, so allow us to do the same.

Pre-2000 Warner would be played by Ashton Kutcher, if he’s willing to gain like 40 pounds.  Late-career Warner would be played by Jack Nicholson.

Late-career Brenda Warner would be played by Kate Hudson.  Pre-2000 Brenda Warner would be played by Meryl Streep.

Dick Vermeil would play himself, given his Oscar-level ability to cry on cue.  Marty Feldman would play Mike Martz.

Oh, wait.  Marty Feldman is dead.  Well, they could just use some old footage from Young Frankenstein.

51 responses to “Kurt Warner's life could be headed for the silver screen

  1. Spare me. This will never get off the ground.
    Next thing you know, they will make a movie about a bartender that made a pro team for 3 years.

  2. Pre-2000 Warner would be played by Ashton Kutcher, if he’s willing to gain like 40 pounds. Late-career Warner would be played by Jack Nicholson.
    Late-career Brenda Warner would be played by Kate Hudson. Pre-2000 Brenda Warner would be played by Meryl Streep.
    Florio,
    I have been reading your nonsense articles for quite some time. This is one of the funniest things you have ever written.
    Cheers

  3. Mike Florio could do a cameo as a fellow aging grocery stocker/owner of an upstart football website who questions Warner’s commitment and motivations. HAHAHA!

  4. Why not get Errol Flynn to play him? Even though he’s been dead 50 years he’s still more animated and interesting.
    This has straight-to-video scribbled all over it. If it’s put into general release, it’ll be the biggest bomb since Nagasaki.

  5. @ umcouldbe says:
    March 30, 2010 8:59 AM
    Florio, now that your tongue is in cheek: bite down hard because you are not funny.
    ————————————————–
    agreed.

  6. To call you retarded would be giving those with legitimate mental restrictions a bad name. You’re just plain pathetic.

  7. Pre-2000 Kurt Warner: Wesley Snipes.
    Late career Kurt Warner: Garrett Morris.
    Brenda Warner Pre-2000 & late career: Olivia D’Abo, the only good thing about The Wonder Years and great in Conan the Destroyer.

  8. The anti-Warner football writer (Florio) could be played by Kevin Spacey…complete with the scene where he is lifting weights in the garage naked.

  9. Warner is nothing more than an overrated Christian, sissy-@$$, Bible thumper that thinks “GOD” has something to do with anything.
    Florio knows I’m the best thing going on this site. I bring em in, Mike…and, you know it. Ban me. I dare you.

  10. Kurt Warner would only agree to this if it was done with taste and to his standards involving Christians (not that there is anything wrong with that). With that being said, Brenda will be played by Kirk Cameron.

  11. Chris Rock and Queen Latifa HAVE to play the voices of something in this movie. Maybe Warner’s subconcious

  12. # toothpick says: March 30, 2010 9:26 AM
    Florio can be played by Gilbert Gottfried
    ———
    I lolled!

  13. I can’t believe no one has said the early brenda could be played by Susan ” stop the insanity ” Powter.

  14. Do we really need to hear this story again? We all know about it as it was shoved into our faces 24/7 when he was with the Rams. Lets not give him another forum to tell everyone how to think re: religion. this guy is ten times worse than Tim Tebow when it comes to wearing his religion on his sleeve. Take your annoying wife and go away already!

  15. Ok guys. I’ll let you all off the hook. I’m not going to post like this anymore. I’m really Chapnasty using another username. I’m a Cowboys fan and just posed as this Steeler-loving lunatic to make the Steelers fan base look even worse than they do already.
    You have to admit, I had you all going. Joke’s on you. Ha. So, now, I will go back to posting as Chapnasty again.

  16. BigMikey says:
    March 30, 2010 9:06 AM
    Mike Florio could do a cameo as a fellow aging grocery stocker/owner of an upstart football website who questions Warner’s commitment and motivations. HAHAHA!
    best comment so far

  17. Pre-2000 Brenda Warner would be played by Meryl Streep.
    ————————————————-
    Glenn Close anyone?

  18. I think pre-2000 Brenda Warner should be played by Clint Eastwood, then I agree with the Kate Hudson approach….

  19. I’m thinkin Ricky Martin would play a helluva Kurt Warner and they should get Ellen Degeneres or Melissa Etheridge to play his wife… Regis Philbin for Dick Vermeil and I would give the fat kid from “SuperBad” the nod to play Mike Martz…. GO RAIDERS GET MCNABBY JUST WIN BABY – Submitted by a 6’5” 220pnd Norwegian Northern Californian YADIDIMEEEEAN

  20. They could make this movie a lot like The Rookie with Dennis Quaid, but the better chance of box-office success would involve making it as stupid and ridiculous as possible and then slapping Tyler Perry’s name at the front of the title.

  21. Scott Baio (Chachi) has to play Kurt and Joyce Meyer (televangelist – look her up) could play Brenda.

  22. “chickenragnar says:
    March 30, 2010 9:03 AM
    Spare me. This will never get off the ground.
    Next thing you know, they will make a movie about a bartender that made a pro team for 3 years.

    I’m sure they it would do fine. It’s a nice story and most women would drag their SOs to it.
    Sure, we’d rather watch something like The Hangover but there are other people out there that actually like a nice storyline every now and then.

  23. “medic406 says:
    March 30, 2010 9:34 AM
    Kurt Warner would only agree to this if it was done with taste and to his standards involving Christians (not that there is anything wrong with that). With that being said, Brenda will be played by Kirk Cameron.”
    I was coming in here to make a Kirk Cameron joke.
    Now I won’t even bother. Well done sir. Weeeeelllll done.

  24. The movie’s title: “Paper or Plastic … or Pigskin”
    Alternate title: “Quarterback of the Futurama”
    Cast:
    Kurt Warner ….. Crispin Glover
    Mike Martz ….. Joe Pesci
    Dick Vermeil ….. Jack Nicholson
    Brenda Warner ….. Jenna Jameson
    Marshall Faulk ….. Wesley Snipes

  25. Movie Title:
    Cashier to Quarterback;
    The Story of Kurt Warner
    – The humble Uncle Buck the Bumble
    Directer: Clint Eastwood
    Kurt Warner: Ricky Martin & Clint Eastwood
    Brenda Warner: Ellen Degeneres & Melissa Etheridge
    Warner’s Kids: Wee-Man, Mini Me, Dakota Fanning & Gary Coleman
    Leinart: Tom Cruise
    Larry Fitzgerald: Lil’ John
    Boldin: Cuba Gooding Jr.
    Edgerin James: Lil’ John
    Eli Manning: Corky from Life Goes On
    Marshall Faulk: Would play himself because Marshall Faulk can still bring it
    Torry Holt: Morgan Freeman
    Mike Martz: John Candy or Chris Farley
    Dick Vermeil: Tim Allen, but he’d have to have a running joke during the movie where Tim Allen makes that gorilla noise off of Home Improvement….. an I’m gone….. Yadidimeeeeean mayyyn ……. GO RAIDER’S…… YEEEEEEEE

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