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Nate Newton wastes away

Though a certain video in which Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo issues a kinda-sorta guarantee has been getting more attention, we’ve tripped across (thanks to the reader who threw it in our path) a video that should provoke a far more dramatic reaction.

Former Cowboys offensive lineman Nate Newton has lost more than 130 pounds since April.  If we didn’t know it was him, we wouldn’t have believed it was him.

Per the Dallas Morning News, Newton started at 396, and he currently weighs 263.  He hopes to get under 235.

Newton had 75 percent of his stomach removed on April 19, in a procedure called a vertical sleeve gastrectomy.

Nobody recognizes me,” Newton told the Morning News.  “Nobody knows me if I don’t open my mouth.”

Newton is one of the more notorious former members of the Cowboys teams of the 1990s.  In 2001, he was arrested twice with large amounts of marijuana in his vehicle.  The first time, he had 213 pounds.  The next time, the amount was down to 175. 

So, basically, this isn’t his first experience with weight reduction.

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24 Responses to “Nate Newton wastes away”
  1. iusedtobeteddybayer says: Jul 26, 2010 3:00 PM

    So this constitutes an attempt at humor by lil’ Napoleon Florio.
    None of this is funny, you little turd. That someone so obese feels the right choice is to have a “vertical sleeve gastrectomy” isn’t funny.
    That he got arrest not once but twice with huge amounts of weed…well, that wasfunny, at the time. But tying the two together for a ba-da-bing! punchline is proof positive that the off-season sucks and you, sir, are no comedienne.
    Please. For all of our sake, stop trying.

  2. Burritto says: Jul 26, 2010 3:01 PM

    Great googily-moogily. I had to skip ahead throughout the video just to make sure the guy at the beginning was Nate Newton and that a fatter guy didn’t appear halfway through. Crazy.

  3. Black QB White RB says: Jul 26, 2010 3:02 PM

    I hate the Cowboys….but good for Nate Newton. One of the funniest commentaries ever on NFL on the TV was John Madden back in the day talking about the size of nate newton’s ASS…funny as hell, only Madden could get away with talking like that

  4. ThePlainTruth says: Jul 26, 2010 3:02 PM

    Aww hell, I’d settle for a just a pound or two…….

  5. Jackson says: Jul 26, 2010 3:13 PM

    Good for you Nate………good for you. that’s awesome.

  6. pat in philly says: Jul 26, 2010 3:20 PM

    can anyone explain to me how the hell he isn’t currently in jail instead of appearing in videos on the internet?
    was he too fat to fit through the door?

  7. robert ethen says: Jul 26, 2010 3:21 PM

    115 pound of the weight loss was the stomach itself. Nate lost a further 15 pounds from not being able to eat as much as he used to. To get down to 235 from 263, Nate is going to have his left buttock removed.

  8. JSpicoli says: Jul 26, 2010 3:31 PM

    Having surgery to remove 75% of your stomach cannot be a healthy way to lose weight.

  9. robert ethen says: Jul 26, 2010 3:31 PM

    400 pounds of ganja equates to about the same amount of “munchies” fat, from this example.

  10. Chapnasty. says: Jul 26, 2010 3:35 PM

    Wade to ride the Cowboy wave today Florio!

  11. DoomsDayD75 says: Jul 26, 2010 3:45 PM

    Romo looked like serious business making that Super Bowl prediction.

  12. ganggreenguido says: Jul 26, 2010 3:46 PM

    maybe he was smuggling weed in his stomach all these years and is finally starting to liquidate inventory…

  13. KM91 says: Jul 26, 2010 3:46 PM

    Wow. I’ve heard of weight fluctuations, but this is ridiculous.

  14. ICEWALKER says: Jul 26, 2010 3:54 PM

    robert ethen says:
    July 26, 2010 3:21 PM
    115 pound of the weight loss was the stomach itself. Nate lost a further 15 pounds from not being able to eat as much as he used to. To get down to 235 from 263,
    Nate is going to have his left buttock removed.
    That’s why I look for your comments first!!!

  15. Hap says: Jul 26, 2010 3:56 PM

    Come ON. He didnt say IT. Now Florio is gonna call this a guarantee. Puh-LEASE.

  16. TryTheVeal says: Jul 26, 2010 3:59 PM

    He had to lose weight, he can’t afford to eat that way since his drug empire came crashing down…

  17. WingT says: Jul 26, 2010 4:01 PM

    How proud Jerry Jones must be

  18. CesarM says: Jul 26, 2010 4:11 PM

    lol that was auctually funny…

  19. darrenbailey says: Jul 26, 2010 4:59 PM

    GOD bless you TONY ROMO

  20. robert ethen says: Jul 26, 2010 5:37 PM

    “Nobody recognizes me if I don’t open my mouth”, states Nate. Then they roll their eyes and look at their watch.

  21. hendeeze says: Jul 26, 2010 6:09 PM

    Munchies are a hell of a drug….. wait what?

  22. funi says: Jul 26, 2010 6:59 PM

    So he had an operation to lose his wieght (flexy Rexy), or was it all the marijuana he had in his stomach!

  23. GovtCheese says: Jul 26, 2010 7:17 PM

    How in the hell is this fatass even out of prison?
    I can promise you, if it was me or any other average joe and we were to get popped with almost 400 lbs of pot combined from 2 different stops, we’d be in prison right now.
    Gotta love the privileges that rich people are afforded that the rest of us aren’t…

  24. Duck Fallas says: Jul 27, 2010 7:37 AM

    I laughed. iusedtobeteddybayer wouldn’t know funny if it punched him in the dick.

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