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Seven captains in Denver

The Broncos have elected their team captains for the 2010 season.  They have a whopping seven of them, which equates to more than 15 percent of the game-day roster.

The captains are cornerback Champ Bailey, safety Brian Dawkins, tight end Daniel Graham, offensive lineman Chris Kuper, quarterback Kyle Orton, linebacker D.J. Wiliams, and linebacker Wesley Woodyard.

In future years, we predict that the number of captains in Denver will expand from seven to 12.  And that the term “captains” will be replaced with “apostles.”

[Editor’s note:  I am a God-fearing Catholic with twelve years of parochial school and countless Sundays of attending Mass.  These periodic jabs at Tim Tebow are intended only to be good-natured jokes.  He’s a good kid and we wish him well.  Besides, we firmly believe that God has a sense of humor.  How else can mankind explain the fart?]

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35 Responses to “Seven captains in Denver”
  1. Poo Flinging Monkey says: Sep 8, 2010 2:17 PM

    [Commenter’s note: I think you just intentionally turned a bland article into a Tebow thread.]

  2. Selgae says: Sep 8, 2010 2:23 PM

    How sad to “fear” God.

  3. robert ethen says: Sep 8, 2010 2:23 PM

    We firmly believe that God has a sense of humor. But sometimes no one gets his jokes. How else do you explain Florio?

  4. ZombieRevolution says: Sep 8, 2010 2:25 PM

    When you have to take that long to explain the motivation behind a joke maybe it would be better left unwritten.
    Well, at least you did not mention Katrina.

  5. sparky says: Sep 8, 2010 2:35 PM

    Ah yes Catholicism, fear and guilt.
    You did well with both there.
    Jackson…that’s great! LOL.

  6. jj jones says: Sep 8, 2010 2:36 PM

    I am sure Mrs. Florio is occasionally reminded of God’s sense of humor.

  7. blinkdaynbl says: Sep 8, 2010 2:37 PM

    keep the Tebow jokes coming. Beats Favre watch any day.

  8. Ytsejamer1 says: Sep 8, 2010 2:39 PM

    That was awesome…i totally got a snicker or two out of it. Well played sir…

  9. stiller43 says: Sep 8, 2010 2:39 PM

    # ZombieRevolution says: September 8, 2010 2:25 PM
    When you have to take that long to explain the motivation behind a joke maybe it would be better left unwritten.
    Well, at least you did not mention Katrina.
    _____________________________________
    +1

  10. albaNY Hawker says: Sep 8, 2010 2:44 PM

    I’m a fellow veteran of 12-years of Catholic schools (with the emotional and physical scars to prove it) and it just sucks how you have to qualify good natured ribbing in today’s PC-society.
    Yes, the fart is the least of things that prove that God has a sense of humor.

  11. mullman says: Sep 8, 2010 2:45 PM

    Is this guy serious?

  12. Mike says: Sep 8, 2010 2:52 PM

    Florio, it was funny until you turned into a bitch. Everytime I read or hear someone say “God-fearing” fill-in-the-blank it makes said person seem very ignorant.

  13. bronco1st says: Sep 8, 2010 3:00 PM

    God does not have a sense of humor and you are going to burn in Hell for eternity – or longer.

  14. Dilbio50 says: Sep 8, 2010 3:07 PM

    Writing the words “God” and “fart” so close in proximity will result in your hand being wilted…
    You dont remember that from Catholic (err…Pedophiliac) School, Florio?

  15. Dapollock says: Sep 8, 2010 3:07 PM

    What, no Captain Jack Sparrow?

  16. The Franchise says: Sep 8, 2010 3:10 PM

    Are we to believe that Florio & Co. are really alarmed/upset/unnevered at what the half-drunk, half-illiterate, always-spewing drones that blast his posts on normal days think about an (obvious, and if not obvious–you’re retarded) joke involving religion?
    Sad day in the land of PFT.com…
    : ‘ (

  17. KyleOrtonsArm says: Sep 8, 2010 3:12 PM

    They don’t need multiple “Captains” they need one “King” and his name will be “King Kyle Orton I”

  18. dietrich43 says: Sep 8, 2010 3:15 PM

    Oh, the irony if Denver gets a right tackle (Tebow’s a lefty, correct?) with the name Judas.

  19. BenRapistberger says: Sep 8, 2010 3:20 PM

    God’s Crusader doesn’t think you’re funny. Neither do his Jockey’s.

  20. Playmaker's Dealer says: Sep 8, 2010 3:23 PM

    i thought the league only allowed 3 C’s: offense, defense and ST??

  21. Thor says: Sep 8, 2010 3:38 PM

    I always thought you were a Jew, Florio. I guess Jew or Catholic, you get a full dose of guilt.

  22. INVAIDUH says: Sep 8, 2010 3:41 PM

    god is santa for grown ups… better be good.

  23. Allied Biscuit says: Sep 8, 2010 3:48 PM

    Decker will be the captain in 2 years. Denver has a real threat right there with that kid.

  24. odds75to1 says: Sep 8, 2010 3:49 PM

    This is the happiest day for Florio –Tim Tebow now has a twitter account!!!!!!

  25. SaintsBucsPanthersSUKK says: Sep 8, 2010 3:51 PM

    Florio needs to say 5 “Our Father” ‘s and 10 “Hail Mary” ‘s and perform a Stations of the Cross on Sunday’s.
    For the rest of his life.

  26. trickbunny says: Sep 8, 2010 3:58 PM

    What? How is BRADY QUINN *not* a captain?
    The Broncos organization has it’s head up it’s ass! :)

  27. ohandsixteenforever says: Sep 8, 2010 4:19 PM

    You know what is funny? I just farted right before I read that last line.

  28. rusH1023 says: Sep 8, 2010 4:44 PM

    You FEAR your god? Have we scaled back in time to the dark ages and I didn’t realize it? What the eff is this world coming to?

  29. Brothaman says: Sep 8, 2010 4:53 PM

    I live in Jackson Mississippi and am not from here. So, PLEASE, make all the god fearing jokes you can so that I can laugh at it. The bible belt makes me want to smoke crack.

  30. sullijo says: Sep 8, 2010 4:56 PM

    Of course God has a sense of humor, he put you here, right?

  31. CanadianVikingFan says: Sep 8, 2010 5:08 PM

    Of course God has a sense of humour, he allows the St. Louis Rams to still be considered a profootball franchise.

  32. Tinbender says: Sep 8, 2010 5:12 PM

    I think Denver should have 53 captains. That way everyone feels special and nobody feels left out. Isn’t that special?

  33. robert ethen says: Sep 8, 2010 5:17 PM

    The editors note before the edit “I am a God-flaming Psychopathic with 12 years of primary school and countless Sundays of creating Mess.”.

  34. Ray Guy says: Sep 8, 2010 5:23 PM

    I f God has a sense of humor then that makes you the Butt of his jokes, Florio.

  35. bigfranky75 says: Sep 8, 2010 5:30 PM

    Florio, personally i think that you are a no-good, talentless hack….
    BUT, even I, as a born-again Christian, think that that joke is funny… so to anyone that gives you a hard time about it, they can get a life…. screw em!

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