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Matthew Stafford can't untie his shoes

In the world of NFL coachspeak, Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford has a chance to play this week.

In the real world, Stafford can’t throw a football yet.  Or making a forward motion with his arm.  Or untie his shoes with his right hand.  But hey, he’s making progress, right?

“It’s going good,” Stafford told the Detroit Free Press after showing that he could raise his arm over his head. “I am just trying to keep my shoulder as strong as possible. Whenever I am ready to go, I will play. It feels better.”

The Lions want to make Stafford’s shoulder a week-to-week question mark, but he clearly doesn’t sound anywhere close to playing. We’re just happy his left hand is fine or he’d be sleeping with his shoes on.

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30 Responses to “Matthew Stafford can't untie his shoes”
  1. irishgary says: Sep 23, 2010 12:06 PM

    for 70 million gauranteed he can have someone else tie his shoes.

  2. Sandra Lee's Cans says: Sep 23, 2010 12:12 PM

    He’d better learn to throw with his left hand, too. Sounds like his right shoulder is pretty much shot.

  3. Meat Tuperello says: Sep 23, 2010 12:16 PM

    It’s a tough injury. In high school I couldn’t lift my right arm after separating my shoulder and tearing the labrum. The week after it I couldn’t lift my arm enough to shift gears in the CRX. I had to walk my hand down my leg with my fingers and then slowly move it over to the stick.
    It healed enough within a week to play although I couldn’t go out for passes. Had to remain in and block for the next couple of weeks at tight end.
    Later that year, it turned into a torn rotator cuff from throwing the shot/discus and playing baseball. Certainly not a fun injury.
    I don’t see him playing qb for quite some time, and quite possibly without surgical intervention.

  4. Dapollock says: Sep 23, 2010 12:22 PM

    Can he raise his arm and hail a cab? If so, then he’s better than Braylon Edwards.

  5. JLH says: Sep 23, 2010 12:35 PM

    Mind you im no nfl player, but I had a grade 2 seperation 3 weeks ago today. There is NO WAY im throwing a football, I couldnt brush my teeth or tie my shoe’s for the first for 2 weeks. I cant imagine trying to throw live snaps with this injury. The pain is not something you can just deal play through. He’s gone for a while, and if he isnt he wont be nearly as effective, if you can call his play before the injury effective…..

  6. bills34 says: Sep 23, 2010 12:37 PM

    “Can he raise his arm and hail a cab? If so, then he’s better than Braylon Edwards”
    NICCCEEE

  7. 81megatron81 says: Sep 23, 2010 12:48 PM

    Dapollock says:
    September 23, 2010 12:22 PM
    Can he raise his arm and hail a cab? If so, then he’s better than Braylon Edwards.
    *Thanks folks, I’ll be here all week!*
    On a seious note, get better Matt, take your time, come back and have that “Elway” career we all know you are capable of…

  8. jm91rs says: Sep 23, 2010 1:23 PM

    Too bad he can’t be like that other QB up in Michigan, Shoelace. Then he wouldn’t even need to tie or untie his shoes.

  9. youboettcha says: Sep 23, 2010 1:38 PM

    I thought Stafford couldn’t untie his shoes because of a concussion suffered in week one, but then I remembered it was a shoulder injury.

  10. froggy says: Sep 23, 2010 1:40 PM

    11 career starts, 3 knockouts
    This guy has good makeup if he can stay on the field.

  11. purpleguy says: Sep 23, 2010 2:04 PM

    Hey, neither Pat Willaims nor Lord Favre from my team can bend over to tie their shoes.

  12. OC Dave says: Sep 23, 2010 2:08 PM

    Stafford can’t untie his shoe………………..And Jeff Backus still can’t protect from the left side.

  13. Dave says: Sep 23, 2010 2:29 PM

    The next Chad Pennington

  14. The Oracle says: Sep 23, 2010 2:39 PM

    Why do people keep reporting that Stafford injuried the same shoulder last year? He injuried his left shoulder last year, not his right.

  15. megatron81 says: Sep 23, 2010 2:48 PM

    @ 81megatron81
    How ya doing today pal? You ready to end the Vikes season this Sunday? I’m hoping Matts back for the Rams and Giants games before our bye week, we should definitely win both of those games and be sitting at 3-3 at the bye week.

  16. BAtkins63 says: Sep 23, 2010 3:02 PM

    Injury has nothing to do with it. Tying ones shoes was a Senior class, and Stafford left UGA after his Junior season. Kids, stay in school.

  17. DcNinerFan says: Sep 23, 2010 3:04 PM

    HAHAHAHA, oh man, PFT is becoming more like MSDNC every day! I had already posted this, it showed up, then they deleted my post AFTER making a correction for horrendous grammar/lack of proofreading, without acknowledging their own dimwittery. Oh man, that’s rich. Original post as follows (the wonders of Firefox plug-ins will never cease).
    “We’re just happy he’s his left hand is fine or he’d be sleeping with his shoes on.” Proofreading : ever hear of it? Let me guess, you’ll just quietly correct it without acknowledging the mistake.

  18. DcNinerFan says: Sep 23, 2010 3:33 PM

    HAHAHAHA, oh man, PFT is becoming more like MSDNC every day! I had already posted this, it showed up, then they deleted my post AFTER making a correction for horrendous grammar/lack of proofreading, without acknowledging their own dimwittery. Oh man, that’s rich. Original post as follows (the wonders of Firefox plug-ins will never cease).
    PFT – As thinned skinned as the Liar in Chief
    “We’re just happy he’s his left hand is fine or he’d be sleeping with his shoes on.” Proofreading : ever hear of it? Let me guess, you’ll just quietly correct it without acknowledging the mistake.

  19. bluelion says: Sep 23, 2010 3:36 PM

    The good news is with Stafford out, Lions will again have the 1st or 2nd draft pick.
    Hopefully, there will be a pretty good left tackle available at that spot.

  20. ClownBurger says: Sep 23, 2010 3:42 PM

    He”ll be back 2 weeks from Sunday.

  21. LiberalGuilt says: Sep 23, 2010 3:49 PM

    @irishgary: $70 million was the total contract, the guaranteed portion is a little over $40 mil.
    Scott Mitchell can’t untie his own shoes either, but that’s mostly because his beer belly prevents him from seeing them.

  22. cjeppesen says: Sep 23, 2010 3:50 PM

    I also noticed the MANY grammatical errors. I was laughing pretty hard. Unfortunately, the mobile site doesnt show comments so I couldnt chime in. When I finally go to my PC, the entire post was corrected and DcNiner’s comment was the ONLY one commenting on the errors. I see this stuff on this site all the freakin time.

  23. ClownBurger says: Sep 23, 2010 3:52 PM

    It is NOT the same shoulder as last year folks! Different shoulder. Not a re-occurring injury so calm down.
    It’s also not as bad as last years injury.
    He won’t need surgery. He just needs rest.
    He’ll definitely miss the next two weeks against Minnesota and Green Bay. The latest he’ll be out for is after their bye week(Bye week is week 7). The earliest he’ll be back is after Green Bay (Week 5)
    It’s not a bad inury. It’s not going to hinder him when he comes back.
    RELAX with the “end of the world” speculation, unless you have no problem with showing your ignorance.

  24. packerjoeZ says: Sep 23, 2010 4:03 PM

    Bad news about Stafford’s shoulders and shoe tying disability. More important: Can he walk and chew gum at the same time?

  25. j-wil says: Sep 23, 2010 4:03 PM

    How is that different than any other Detroit Lion?

  26. FumbleNuts says: Sep 23, 2010 4:08 PM

    Give him a few years and his shoulders will be nothing, but….. hamburger.
    This guy will always be hurt.

  27. gwylie1 says: Sep 23, 2010 4:21 PM

    This is why the Lions should have drafted an O-lineman and not Suh. Suh is not going to be able to keep your franchise player healthy

  28. AllThat says: Sep 23, 2010 4:50 PM

    Penny Loafers maybe?

  29. cotts1 says: Sep 23, 2010 10:16 PM

    LOL gwylie….yea the Lions should have passed on the best DT prospect in the history of football…. QB’s are gonna get hit, even the best LT in the league is going to give up a few hits on his QB. Look at Aaron Rodgers, dude gets pounded every game behind that pedestrian O-line. Stafford will be fine and the Lions are clearly on the rise.

  30. MikeL says: Sep 24, 2010 10:42 AM

    detroitlions.team-talk.net

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