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Matthew Stafford can’t untie his shoes

In the world of NFL coachspeak, Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford has a chance to play this week.

In the real world, Stafford can’t throw a football yet. Or making a forward motion with his arm. Or untie his shoes with his right hand. But hey, he’s making progress, right?

“It’s going good,” Stafford told the Detroit Free Press after showing that he could raise his arm over his head. “I am just trying to keep my shoulder as strong as possible. Whenever I am ready to go, I will play. It feels better.”

The Lions want to make Stafford’s shoulder a week-to-week question mark, but he clearly doesn’t sound anywhere close to playing. We’re just happy his left hand is fine or he’d be sleeping with his shoes on.