Chris Kluwe returns to the whiteboard to mock Roger Goodell

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Vikings punter Chris Kluwe gained widespread attention last season when he drew a diagram on the whiteboard in the locker room mocking the NFL’s training video on helmet-to-helmet hits, then tweeted a picture of it. Now Kluwe is back to his old hijinks.

On Friday Kluwe tweeted, “This is what happens when I have too much free time from not being able to do my job,” with a link to a picture of another diagram he had drawn on another whiteboard.

The diagram, titled “CBA Meeting,” shows a greedy owner carrying a bag of money and wearing a cowboy hat, demanding money from a player. Underneath, Kluwe writes, “Dear NFL — If you’re looking for money, just show us. We’re not unreasonable men. A compromise can be reached, but not without trust.”

After that, Kluwe tweeted a picture of a second whiteboard. On that one is written Kluwe’s mockery of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s letter to the players.

“Dear Employee #1364,” the mock-letter begins. “I am sending you this impersonal form letter because I care about you as a player (snicker). As such, I urge you to accept our last offer, one that would cut $30 million from the veteran salary cap, reduce your percentage of revenue from 50% to 32% over 8 years, reduce the number of practices (since we don’t make any money off those anyways) in the offseason, and provide you with health insurance which will void if you ever work another job. You’re getting a great deal here. Really. Trust me. (unrestrained laughter) Sincerely, Rog”

If the lockout keeps Kluwe out of work for long, he may be able to get a job as a cartoonist.

70 responses to “Chris Kluwe returns to the whiteboard to mock Roger Goodell

  1. If the lockout keeps Kluwe out of work for long, he may be able to get a job as a cartoonist.

    that is if he does something funny.

  2. Dear Kicker on crappy team,

    Please explain why the players, which assume no financial risk, have the right to demand to see financial statements from the team owners. Just to remind you, the owners provide you all the facilities, equipment, food, transportation, personnel, and sign your checks.

    Sincerly,

    The Fans

    Every time a player speaks up for their cause it demonstrates how out of tough with reality they are and how much of a sense of entitilement they have.

  3. Wow he obviously has no CLUE! I hope there is a a serious backlash against this clueless, selfish, idiotic players. The fan support has left your side guys, my suggestion would be to shut the hell up and save what little face you have left.

    @mmickute

    I immediately thought the same thing.The fact they think they should get health care even in the event that another job provides it just shows how greedy they are. This whole letter shows they have no respect for their EMPLOYERS either. It’s time for scabs just on pure principle alone.

  4. It is going to be interesting to see that when this CBA mess is over how many of these guys who are bitching about Goodell and the owners have a job playing football moving forward. I think Brees will but he will be booed in every city but his own.

  5. @sabrestud75

    Based on what you wrote please don’t write responses as if you represent the fans. You’re too stupid to represent us.

  6. I just love the player bashing. Let’s hate on some guys that obviously were more talented that any of us. Worked harder to get to the NFL than most people work in their entire life. Get mad at them because they make more money than us. The owners sign the checks and give the players these big deals. Why be mad at the players.? I don’t think they should have to apologize for making money. These players were just kids with a dream at one point.

  7. I am starting to hope for an actual work stoppage, as in no games. Both sides are such idiots. I’d ALMOST like them to screw this up like baseball did. Teach ’em a lesson. As the 80’s rock band said, “Don’t know what you got ’till its gone.”

  8. These guys have it rough they only make millions what about the guys like me that work hard for only 10% of what they earn in a year. Get to work like I have to.

  9. dear saberstud75:

    the reason the players “who have no financial risk” want to see the books because the owners called them ‘partners’. partners get to see books. the owners want the players to give up money to invest in the game. the players want to see why.

  10. The joke is the players who somehow feel as though working as an NFL player for an average of 3.5 years entitles them to a lifetime of luxuries. I am tired of hearing about the pensions, and their lifetime medical benefits.
    Where is it written these player should not get actual jobs when their 3.5 sentence is up in the NFL? Even owners who already are very weathly are still working.
    This sort of entitlement goes all the way back to school days. The best football players were always afford certain luxuries in school and now they dont understand why they aren’t getting everything they asked for.
    Kluwe is a dopey punter who should be counting his blessings everyday instead of acting like a 15 year old punk with a blog.

  11. As an individual that has been somewhat leaning towards the owners side of this ordeal… I have to say that this is not a bad bit. Got me thinking, I’ll say that.

    Kluwe… nice job boiling it down to the primary issues!

  12. The players aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed to begin with and it goes downhill from there when the player is from the Vikings.

    How any of this is helpful to the final resolution is the question Chris Clueless should be asking himself. It might be different if he was any good but he’s an average punter on a last place team that has never won a Superbowl.

    Looking for a silver lining in any of this, the longer the lockout, the more it impacts those teams with new coaches, new systems and no QB’s. So Clueless should be begging for an end to the lockout if he cared at all about winning. Something the Vikings didn’t do much of last year.

  13. I guess all the league’s paid shills sleep in on Saturdays. Normally (that is, since the lockout began) there would be about 50 thumbs down on every response by now, in nearly exact proportions.

    /yea, I know, we weren’t supposed to notice.

  14. @saberstud75
    So the health risks don’t matter?

    The issue here is that the owners don’t view the players as partners but as employees. They need change their mindset or litigation will do it for them.

  15. Mr. Kluless,

    Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and confirm it. Here’s a cartoon idea for ya………..you (Chris Kluless) behind the counter at McDonald’s asking a customer if they want to supersize their value meal.

  16. Dear saberstud75;

    Why are you a shill for rich guys who get so many financial breaks and tax incentives, many of whom inherited their teams and wealth, yet are greedier and more self-centered than the players you so obviously hate. But you obviously love to watch them on Sundays? So on Sundays, do you root for the owners to win?

    “Go Jerry Jones’ Cowboys! Beat those Dan Snyder’s Redskins…Oh, sorry Dan, I love you owners so much…”

    It is amazing how rich people get normal, everyday people to carry their water…

    “WHY” these players can ask for financial information that YOU can’t is because it is a negotiation. In a negotiation, you leverage what you can to get the best deal. My guess? You can be replaced in about 15 minutes and a phone call. In the NFL, they can’t find 32 starting caliber NFL quarterbacks. 32! In a country of 300 million!

    These Rich guys do it when they hold cities hostage, claiming poverty, to get tax abatements, funding for their stadiums, and infrastructure improvements just on the “hope” the city will make it back by taxing the poor working folks making 10 bucks an hour.

    Sadly, 99 percent of us, including Engineers, lawyers, even DOCTORS can be replaced relatively easy, due to international work visas and or the sheer number of people in our respective professions looking for work. The NFL player does NOT have this problem. Get it? THEY have something the owners NEED. It is RARE. Therefore it is VALUABLE and allows for the NFL player to ask for something that you or I would never be allowed to ask for…

    Well…unless we were part of some kind of organization that could negotiate for a large chunk of workers…kinda like a UNION?

    (I know, I know, “Unions RU-EENED Americuh, you commie pinko!”)

    And if the owners don’t put the BEST players on the field every Sunday, very few will watch. (See: the UFL). These “franchises” will go from being worth 1 billion to about 50 million in less than 5 years and even less after that. Did you see how the Cavaliers lost about 250 million in worth just by having LeBron go to another city?

    So go ahead owners, roll the dice like they did in baseball, lock out the players and see how long it takes for the casual viewer to come back.

    Remember the mantra of the rich “…it’s just business, even when it is personal”. Because you know darn well, that’s exactly the excuse every owner makes on a day to day basis to justify their treatment of their “other” workers.

  17. From Wikipedia “Kluwe signed an $8.3-million contract extension through 2013” So a guy gets 8.3 Mill to kick a ball 70+ times a season 44.2 yards and a union wants “open books” and fights over a split of $500 Million … while a Wisconsin School Teacher loses the capability to collectively bargain (and maybe their job) and PA teachers are demanded to take wage freezes? I mean the cartoon is cute and funny from HIS perspective but neither of these sides will ever GET IT … that even if you had an “average” (and yeah I know this ain’t “average”) salary of $83,000 per year it’d take you 100 years to make $8.3 Mill! And they wonder why the “common person” can’t sympathize! Geeeeeeeez already! STFU!

  18. Kluwe thinks he’s a smart guy, apparently. Too bad he’s just a punter. I wonder how he’ll feel about his “brothers” in the NFLPA if he starts shanking punts and gets ostracized.

    He seems to think he’s one of the guys. But he’s not and someday he’ll realize that the hard way.

    These players sound so tough now but when they start missing game checks we’ll see how tough and together they really are. Kluwe’s whiteboard in October 2011: “brother can you spare a dime?”

  19. @saberstud75
    you and a lot of other people keep missing the fact that the “owners” constantly call the “players” partners. if they are partners and not “employee’s” then yes they deserve the right to see the evidence. if you were “partners” in a business wouldn’t you want proof?

  20. Great to see Kluwe using the medium of comical drawings to force the public to see this complicated situation in a whole new light.

    I think I speak for the majority of football fans when I say that this artistic genius has totally won me over to their side.

  21. I dont understand all the player bashers.

    Who do they root for when they watch a game, the players on the field, or the owner drinking champagne and eating caviar in the $10,000 a game luxury suite

  22. If the players were truly partners as they keep claiming then they wouldnt have to try to strongarm the books now. They would already have the books because they would have asked to see them when times are good and not just to try and muddle things. What kind of a “partner” doesnt know what the books are like all the time? Oh yeah, someone claiming to be a partner would.

    Also Im still confused as to why the Green Bay books are not sufficient. Seems to me if the players were doing this in good faith then those coupled with some other league wide books would be enough. They arent bargaing with tehe individual teams but the league. The players never mention Green Bays books or what they show, just keep being stubborn players.

    Why do they keep claiming that the ownwers are the ones soley responsible for this. “We only want to play”. Take some responsibility you jackasses! Both sides are at fault!

  23. I love it. The owners should pay for health care for the players for the rest of their lives. These guys risk their lives to play. Yeah the get paid alot of money but what can most of them do besides play football. The owners pretend to care for a few years while the player is on their roster but after they don’t put butts in the seats they don’t care and the players are discarded like yesterdays garbage. The owners should also teach the players about money management as well because most players have never seen money so they don’t know what to do with it.Think about it. You are a superstar player. You sell millions of jerseys and thousands of tickets. You get hurt the NFL says sorry, cuts you. Your hurt and your contract isn’t paid and your healthcare only exists if you don’t take another job. Bulls**t.

  24. tiredofthestupid says:
    Mar 19, 2011 9:08 AM
    Dear saberstud75;

    Why are you a shill for rich guys who get so many financial breaks and tax incentives, many of whom inherited their teams and wealth, yet are greedier and more self-centered than the players you so obviously hate. But you obviously love to watch them on Sundays? So on Sundays, do you root for the owners to win?

    “Go Jerry Jones’ Cowboys! Beat those Dan Snyder’s Redskins…Oh, sorry Dan, I love you owners so much…”

    It is amazing how rich people get normal, everyday people to carry their water…

    “WHY” these players can ask for financial information that YOU can’t is because it is a negotiation. In a negotiation, you leverage what you can to get the best deal. My guess? You can be replaced in about 15 minutes and a phone call. In the NFL, they can’t find 32 starting caliber NFL quarterbacks. 32! In a country of 300 million!

    ——————————

    People don’t root for the Tony Romo Cowboys or the Redskins either. They root for the teams. Teams have a fair amount of turnover of players every single year. The Redskins went from Campbell to McNabb to Grossman at QB. You know what? The team didn’t fold because any single player was or was not playing on the team.

    There are plenty of players deemed not worthy of a regular roster spot or a draft pick that due to injuries get a chance to play during the regular season. The coaches and GMs find out they were wrong about some of these players and they end up replacing the “Name” player.

    As far as 32 good QBs in the league? I think alot of that is coaching and surrounding the QB with a good supporting cast.

    You put Peyton Manning in Buffalo, he’d probably be out of the league by now. Kurt Warner went from stock boy to superbowl MVP in one year. Then he played like a stockboy in NY and played like a probowler in Arizona.

    One of the consistant things on the two teams where he played at a prowbowl level? He played with 2 of the top receivers in the league at the time on each team. When you have multiple targets who can just go up and get the ball, consistantly, they make you look good, they give you and the team confidence and in turn, everyone plays a little bit better.

    If Brees had gone to Miami, who hasn’t had good receivers this decade, he’d not be the star he is in New Orleans.

    On the flip side are coaches that get to hung up on physical characteristics (Anderson), over the hill players with names (Favre/Delhomme) that they don’t make the proper personell decisions in the offseason.

    Anyhow, that’s my rant. Replace the players and i’d still watch the Eagles. Evaluating talent has always been an inexact science and there’s been plenty that’s slipped through the cracks.

  25. Have any of you people who think the owners should show thier books ever owned a business?If so,did you show your books to your employees?Also,did you pay your employees 60%of the proceeds? Just wondering……..

  26. meatball13 says: Mar 19, 2011 10:17 AM

    “Have any of you people who think the owners should show thier books ever owned a business?”

    How many business owners here do you think, enjoy an antitrust exemption from the Federal Government?
    Of those, how many do you think have ever tried to take $1 billion away from their employees?

    Apples and oranges…

  27. Did Kluwe say this is what happens when he has too much spare time from not being able to do his job? I’m pretty sure being a punter is just a bunch of spare time anyway. Get a real job and then tell me how unfair your life is.

  28. I thought you had to be 3 years past high school graduation age to enter the NFl. This seems pretty childish!

  29. @patriotsagain
    “the reason the players “who have no financial risk” want to see the books because the owners called them ‘partners’. partners get to see books. the owners want the players to give up money to invest in the game. the players want to see why.”

    They players are not and have never been partners. I dont care what platitude the owners put upon the players. Outside of themselves the players bear none of the financial risk for the League or their teams. Even then, the league did exactly what Kluwe wanted. The league offered to do more and to do so to an independent 3rd party. Kluwe also lies, the League did not lock the players out first. The union decertified which was their nuclear option, then the league followed suite.

  30. @meatball13

    Stop trying to sound clever. You sound like a fool. They’re partners, per the CBA. The owners even acknowledge them as partners. If your partners asked for you to give back a billion dollars you’d wanna know why too. As to the 60% of revenues, your scrubby ass couldn’t command that cuz no one wants to see you trying to sell cellphone plans over the phone all day. There are only about 1500 guys at any given time that can do what they do and what they do, millions wanna see.

  31. Even though the owners have said that they partners, they obviously don’t believe that. Just the fact that they have to ask to see the books is one reason. Partners say they want to see the books. Also partners don’t get locked out; employees get locked out. Ok, I’m done. Here’s to football.

  32. I’m beginning to wonder whether it’s PFT Readers that are clueless or simply football fans in general.

  33. The owners messed up by calling the players partners but treating them like employees. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an owners guy, but they should never have called them partners.

    The players are the best at what they do and are highly compensated employees, not partial owners. How would they react if someone they hired for a job (lawn service, party coordinator, etc.) tried to get more for their services? My guess is they’d say I pay you enough already and look for another provider. If all those service providers got together and said that they wanted to see the player’s tax returns to verify they couldn’t pay higher costs, the player would cry confidentiality.

  34. “one that would cut $30 million from the veteran salary cap”

    Except that the veteran salary cap increases every year in the owners’ proposal…

    Can people no longer do basic math?

    Yes, there are changes to the formula. At no point, however, is money cut from the cap. No individual player under contract will see a pay cut. Average salaries necessarily increase, thanks to the ever-increasing cap.

    And contrary to De Smith’s assertions, no player will ever “write a check” to the league.

  35. Bottom line, the players walked away from the negotiating table after getting the players to move on every issue. But instead of moving themselves or actually working out a compromise deal, they walked away. Fine. It’s their right, but quit trying to act like a victim. I’d have more sympathy if they called it what it is, a business decision.

    Millions of people work harder, most get paid a mere fraction of the money, have 12 fewer sports cars, live in a house 1/3 the size, and don’t have adoring fans worshiping them. The players need to grow up and realize the real world has little sympathy for their “plight.”

    It’s even better they act like this while the world burns and drowns.

  36. “show the books” is a mindless chant in order to keep simple people focused on a simple thing. The league offered 5 years of audited books and the players said no…maybe the players wanted more pictures on the pages. The bottom line is the players compare their percentage of the pie with the owners’ percentage of the pie. It’s the grass is always greener mindset. They should be looking at what they actually get and determine if that is fair compensation for what they do. I believe it is, but they will always want more. They will not be satisfied unless they can say they “won” something.

  37. A clown says:

    I just love the player bashing. Let’s hate on some guys that obviously were more talented that any of us. Worked harder to get to the NFL than most people work in their entire life. Get mad at them because they make more money than us. The owners sign the checks and give the players these big deals. Why be mad at the players.? I don’t think they should have to apologize for making money. These players were just kids with a dream at one point.

    _______________________________

    First off not one of these guys is more talented than I, maybe you but not I. Lets just put it this way, if we still lived in the caveman days they could outrun the sabre toothed cat, but guess what I would build the wheel. See the difference.

    Please owners start new, Im so tired of hearing from these overgrown children.

  38. The guy is in a position that allows to him rarely, if ever, be touched, and he has an 8 million dollar contract.

    Where’s all the player rhetoric about health concerns and long term brain damage when it comes to ridiculously paid punters?

    I thought the first cartoon was funny, but this man needs to take his meds, check his bank statements, and shut up.

  39. The players are not partners; they are employees. Like it or not, they work for the owner of the team.

    What if, for example, hardware store workers formed a union, went on strike, and demanded that Arthur Blank and the owners of Lowe’s, Ace, etc., to open their books and show the way they operate to their chief rivals. It wouldn’t be feasible there and it isn’t feasible here. God-given talent doesn’t grant one a greater share in the operation than it would if you were selling screws or washing machines.

    If an owner wants to pay his deadbeat nephew $125,000 for “consulting”, it’s his team and he can. If Drew Breez or Adrian Peterson or whomever doesn’t like it, let them buy a team and run it the way they see fit.

  40. Kluwe is like the rest of the players – refusing to get out of denial.
    This impasse won’t be solved until Kluwe and company stops reading the DeMaurice Smith talking points and starts reading some real information. “Show us” doesn’t cut it – show us, Chris, why Smith et al are right.

  41. So you have an NFL punter, who in life gets paid to…. kick a ball really really high and far. Seriously, he really gets paid to do that. And he gets paid in the hundreds of thousands. Per year. And he’s acting like he’s some victim in life??????

    And even that guy, can’t simply be thankful he can get away with doing that in life. Not even that guy can be thankful.

    How many more players need to behave like animals??

    How do you spell PIG? N-F-L -P-L-A-Y-E-R.

    A guy actually gets away with making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to do what every kid does after school….. kick a ball.

    You players are seriously disgusting, you know that?

  42. tnckid….Why didn’t you answer the question?I don’t sell cell phone plans and if I did I would be damn good at it!However,I did come out of rehab at the age of 30 with not a penny to my name,no home,no car,no job ,and within 10 years ended up owning my own SUCCESSFUL business,that I worked my butt off to get the down payment for!Sold the business (that ended up paying for itself) 10 years later for 2 1/2 times what I paid for it.So,I really don’t want to hear some union lackey calling me a scrub.You are the fool who is being duped into believing anything your union leaders tell you is fact!

  43. The players assume no financial risk – indeed. So what right do they have to see books that they clearly are not seeking for objective analysis?

  44. This guy needs his ass kicked just for being a punter to begin with. Secondly, he’s grossly over paid for what he does.
    This open the books thing make me laugh. The arrogance of the players union to demand to look the books of a privately held corporation. This does not happen in the corporate world. The goal of any corporation is to make as much money as possible.

    Employees of that corporation are hired to make that happen. They provide a service and are paid a fee. The employees are free to go and market their services else where for more money , if they think they can get it.

  45. People do you realize how messed up some players are after their career is over. Not every player slides into the broadcast booth or becomes an analyst, although it seems that way. Anyway what union member(take football out of the equation) wants to give up money that the owners agreed to in the last cba. The average career is four years I would think you would want to maximize your earnings during that time. And not one person posting on here if they were in the players position would be saying let’s take the owners deal if THEY knew it was a bad one. I pretty sure none of you know the real in and out of the deals being worked on. The players and owners are partners and with that the owners are saying were losing money then show the players and then you can deal. Remember football fans the players are the ones trying to get an injunction to prevent a lockout so that there is a football season a fact that a number of people seem to be missing

  46. Nfl players are like whiney children at a Toys R Us store.

    “I want more toys!!”

    Mommy: We can’t afford it, honey!

    Child: “PROVE IT!” starts crying, throws a tantrum!!

  47. Chris, you are in luck, you have a white board to play with and all the others will just have coloring books. Hold on the white board because when the CBA is signed you will be out of work within a month, you can take that to the bank.

  48. The owner ball-washing comments are unreal to me. These pigs are constantly extorting $$ from tax payers and somehow they come out as the good guys in this deal??

  49. Dude, you’re a punter! You’re easily expendable! Just kick and leave the stand up routine to the pros!

  50. Thing is, I think Kluwe doesn’t really give a rip about football. He’s a college educated (for real) intelligent goofball who is a huge gamer (gets prelreleased stuff from the game manufacturers to test, has an official WoW character, etc.), has his own rock band, and calls in/hangs out with the local hard rock station. For St. Patty’s he came in to be the volunteer for the annual “how many drinks ’til your over the limit” thing they do with the State Patrol and was doing shots of Jameson and chasing it with Guiness–at 6:30 in the morning. So, even if his NFL career ended tomorrow, I really don’t think he’d be all that bothered.

  51. Maybe the guy who is due to make $1.2M next year to kick a football should look in the mirror. If kickers and especially punters gave up half of everything they earn over $10oK, the pie is instantly much bigger for the real athletes to get paid more.

  52. This guy is hilarious!! And his jabs are good-natured, not mean-spirited like some of the vile things posted here. Some of you seriously need humor transplants.

    And those of you calling for the players to be supplanted by scabs deserve to lose your own jobs. That is shameful. These men are not on strike. They didn’t shut down the league. They have been locked out by owners demanding more money.

  53. @JB (the original)… What was that Peyton Manning quote about the idiot kicker who got liquored up and started running his mouth?

    Sure seems to apply here!

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