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Dez Bryant is welcome to shop wherever he wants

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Our short, regional nightmare is over:  Dez Bryant is welcome once again at North Park Center Mall in Dallas.

“Mr. Bryant is welcome to join the millions of customers who shop and dine at NorthPark Center,” NorthPark spokesman David Mardulies told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.  “The mall considers last weekend’s issue closed.”

We never knew that malls had spokesmen.  (Mardulies last issued a statement after the controversial Easter Bunny attack of 1995.)

Either way, it’s a relief to know Dez Bryant will be able to shop in peace again.  His adviser says Bryant and the mall have both apologized for their actions that led to Bryant being given a criminal trespass citation.

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15 Responses to “Dez Bryant is welcome to shop wherever he wants”
  1. tuckercarlsonisthevoiceofreason says: Mar 28, 2011 12:16 PM

    I forget what the issue was. Was he urinating in the parking garage? You know, he could get Uromysitisis poisoning and die. He’s been issued a public urination pass by the city because of his condition. Unfortunately, his little brother ran out of the house with it that morning.

  2. cphickey says: Mar 28, 2011 12:16 PM

    well that’s a relief

  3. bobbyhoying says: Mar 28, 2011 12:23 PM

    He’s probably being cautious with his money, in case he’s locked out for multiple years, so he’s probably not going to buy anything at the mall anyway.

  4. nepatriots128154 says: Mar 28, 2011 12:29 PM

    This is the best advertising this mall could have gotten

  5. burntorangehorn says: Mar 28, 2011 12:38 PM

    Dez Bryant should meet Amazon.

  6. radrhatr says: Mar 28, 2011 12:46 PM

    maybe they’ll give him a complimentary belt, to help him hold his pants up!

  7. denverhighrize says: Mar 28, 2011 1:12 PM

    Pants on the ground.

  8. tombradyswig says: Mar 28, 2011 1:33 PM

    T H U G !

  9. bigtony300 says: Mar 28, 2011 1:33 PM

    And in a related story, as reported by Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland, Dez Bryants mom will be allowed to shop her services at the intersections surrounding the North Park Shopping Center.

  10. skins1976 says: Mar 28, 2011 1:41 PM

    That’s funny….I didn’t even know his pants were sagging. I thought that was his face with a huge smile on it. Looked just like all of the other Dallas Cowboys.

  11. arnoldziffel says: Mar 28, 2011 1:59 PM

    Let the good times roll!

  12. dbellina says: Mar 28, 2011 2:09 PM

    Pants on the Ground
    Pants on the Ground

    Lookin’ like a fool
    With your pants on the Ground

  13. hawks1020 says: Mar 28, 2011 2:18 PM

    Even without the literal existence of current NFL players, I’m glad capitalists still get something out of them

  14. hobartbaker says: Mar 28, 2011 3:04 PM

    Dez is welcome to deliver a string of profanity wherever he wants, for he is the Royal Crack Baby, protected by the Godfather of the local industry, Royce West, and his main muscle David Wells.

  15. tatum064 says: Mar 28, 2011 3:15 PM

    let me translate;

    “Uh yeah, we seem to have a misunderstanding…Mr. Bryant, please feel free to shop whenever you want”
    (hours earlier)
    Jerry Jones; “Listen Son, I just dropped a bil. on a Stadium and nearly lost revenue on a Super Bowl…you will extend Dez every possible courtesy. You realize General Growth Properties is bankrupt, right?
    David Mardulies ; “Er, uh yes, Mr. Jones, I’ll pass it along to North Park, and a thanks for your time”
    Jerry Jones; “Glad to have you aboard”. “Son, sometimes you have to go get along”.
    Mardulies; (rolling his eyes) “Yes, sir that is true.”

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