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Haynesworth has creative defense to sexual assault charges


The latest Associated Press article regarding Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth’s latest legal imbroglio focuses on the fact that prosecutors offered Haynesworth a plea deal, and he refused it.

Haynesworth’s attorney A. Scott Bolden (not to be confused with The Scott Bolden) said that the offer consisted of “no deal at all, nor is it one we would entertain.”

Buried in the article are details regarding Haynesworth’s response to the claim that he touched a waitress at a hotel restaurant inappropriately with a credit card.

“I didn’t touch her,” Haynesworth said, according to documents.  He also explained that he doesn’t “even like black girls.”

Haynesworth even took it a step farther, claiming that the alleged victim was motivated by Haynesworth’s taste in women.

“I know what this is about, she is just upset I have a white girlfriend,” Haynesworth reportedly told detectives.  “I couldn’t tell you the last time I dated a black girl.  She was trying to get with me.”

We realize that Haynesworth is entitled to a presumption of innocence.  In light of history, however, we’re also prepared to extend to him a presumption of ignorance.  The sooner he’s out of football, the better off the sport will be.

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16 Responses to “Haynesworth has creative defense to sexual assault charges”
  1. randy33872 says: Apr 27, 2011 6:43 PM

    I love It !!

  2. bukes111 says: Apr 27, 2011 6:44 PM

    Wow, just when you thought he couldn’t be a bigger douche. I was actually giving him a 10% chance that it was an honest mistake.

  3. sterilizecromartie says: Apr 27, 2011 6:44 PM

    Lmao. Yes! This guy is awesome.

  4. smacklayer says: Apr 27, 2011 6:46 PM

    “The sooner he’s out of football, the better off the sport will be.”

    Ditto for DB Smith

  5. dietrich43 says: Apr 27, 2011 6:46 PM

    Stay classy, Fat Albert.

  6. nabz034 says: Apr 27, 2011 6:48 PM

    “That Marijauna’s not mine officer, I only like coke 🙂 “

  7. iamtalkingsolistenandlearn says: Apr 27, 2011 6:49 PM

    “Haynesworth has creative defense to sexual assault charges”


    “It wasn’t me”

  8. screamingsheep69 says: Apr 27, 2011 6:51 PM

    Oh the comments this is gonna get. But let me be the first to say, “Where are all the white women at?”

  9. cpizz says: Apr 27, 2011 6:53 PM

    As a Redskins fan he is a disgrace to our team and the NFL. Hope he gets in more trouble then maybe we can get some money back.

  10. chochav says: Apr 27, 2011 6:53 PM

    Yes and it has nothing to do with that fat $100million con you got. Don’t get up on this one.

  11. champgiff says: Apr 27, 2011 6:54 PM

    “The sooner he’s out of football, the better off the sport will be.”

    So true. This guy has turned into nothing more than a headliner to the jacka** report.

  12. iced107 says: Apr 27, 2011 6:55 PM

    “The sooner he’s out of football, the better off the sport will be.”

    And how much more lamer the off seasons will be..face it,this stuff is entertaining to a degree (and it actually gives you something to write about.)

    Yea he’s an idiot – but every class has atleast 1 class clown.. its just too bad the redskins are a circus

  13. dylanmusicfane says: Apr 27, 2011 7:01 PM

    i was expecting “she made me do it”

  14. seanb20124 says: Apr 27, 2011 7:28 PM


  15. thefiesty1 says: Apr 27, 2011 7:32 PM

    Just where did he stick his credit card? He touched her with his credit card and that’s sexual assault? Did this suit happen as soon as she realized the Name on the credit card? Given the benefit of the doubt, this sounds frivolous. But, then again it’s Big AL.

    Doesn’t like black girls? Rasist too?

  16. bearsrulepackdrool says: Apr 27, 2011 8:15 PM

    why is this a creative defense? He just doesn’t like black girls, to each its own.
    Who says he’s obligated to date black women?