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Everyone enjoys a little Cowboys schaudenfreude

Paul Zimmerman used a quote for his 1988 book Duane Thomas and the Fall of America’s Team that seems appropriate here.  It was written by Terrence Gallagher of the Instrument and Apparatus News back in 1982, but still rings true:

“There are three types of people in the civilized world,” Gallagher wrote. “There are those who love the Dallas Cowboys, those who hate the Dallas Cowboys, and those who don’t know who or what the Dallas Cowboys are.

“I call these people Group A, B, and C, respectively. I have never met a Group C person, but reliable sources informed me they do exist — they live mostly along the west bank of the Amazon.

“Group B people are paragons of mankind.  They are superior in every way to Group A and Group C.  Group A (except those living in or near Dallas, who have been brainwashed since birth and have long ago lost all ability to make rational decisions) should be shunned at all costs. They are not to be trusted.”

For everyone in Group B out there, here are the worst moments for the Cowboys since 1987.

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41 Responses to “Everyone enjoys a little Cowboys schaudenfreude”
  1. NFL Football Now says: Jun 2, 2011 7:13 PM

    44-6

  2. willycents says: Jun 2, 2011 7:38 PM

    LOL at this post, great analysis

  3. birdsta1 says: Jun 2, 2011 7:52 PM

    5-0 you know what I mean.

  4. hobartbaker says: Jun 2, 2011 7:59 PM

    Pointy headed pseudo intellectuals ensconced in historical Central European universities fall into Category C, having never heard of the Dallas Cowboys, but guessing they might be a country and western band groaning out tales of woe. But on the other hand, they are the only ones able to use the word “shaudenfreude” in proper context.

  5. hobartbaker says: Jun 2, 2011 8:03 PM

    Or as the boys looking up at the big screen behind the bar might say, “a lil Cowboy shame ‘n fraud.”.

  6. nnagi says: Jun 2, 2011 8:10 PM

    PFT always makes that extra effort to denigrate the Dallas Cowboys…5 SB Championships (8 appearances), 27 winning season (20 consecutive – a league record), 32-22 postseason record, 14 NFC Championship Game appearances, 18 NFC East titles…oh, I guess I can see why…GO COWBOYS!!!

  7. nokoolaidcowboy says: Jun 2, 2011 8:17 PM

    *crickets chirping

  8. moneymike23 says: Jun 2, 2011 8:19 PM

    what?

  9. mrcowpatty says: Jun 2, 2011 8:22 PM

    I fall into Group C. The Cowboys don’t play in Dallas. The only cowboys I ever say when I lived in Dallas were urban cowboys driving shinny pick ups that never got dirty. Yee Haw!!!

  10. pacificamjr says: Jun 2, 2011 8:32 PM

    8-8 in 2011

  11. secretomen00 says: Jun 2, 2011 8:40 PM

    2010, 6-10.

  12. beastofeden says: Jun 2, 2011 9:02 PM

    This was my first and last time watching this segment. How can there be 0 Redskins games on that list?

    When it comes to the Steelers, games against the Browns and Ravens will be on the list correct?

    Weak. Absolutely weak. Read the comments dude. Thats where the answers are.

  13. welzy says: Jun 2, 2011 9:11 PM

    Dallas is the self-declared “America’s Team” and it really helped influence football fans one way or the other. Great marketing for Cowboy fans, but it still annoys everyone else to this day.

  14. melonnhead says: Jun 2, 2011 9:12 PM

    Ravens were picked because they were the only team that had never played in Texas Stadium but whatev. Not so sure about #2 either. They didn’t accomplish something that no team has accomplished before or since, and it’s a “worst moment”?

    As far as Jimmy Johnson is concerned, he told Jones that he wanted to coach one more season and be released from his contract, Jones told him to commit long-term or GTFO. Johnson was a burnout, he never lasted more than 5 years anywhere :-)

    Still say Greg Ellis was a better choice than Moss and hey, the Cowboys won as many Super Bowls with Ellis as anybody else won with Moss.

  15. dempsey63 says: Jun 2, 2011 9:52 PM

    That snapped ball that went through Romo’s hands in Seattle looked like it was saturated with WD-40.

  16. melonnhead says: Jun 2, 2011 9:53 PM

    Indicentally, Jimmy did a hit-job on Don Shula and possibly Dan Marino. Shula was on record as saying he wanted to coach a few more years but then months later “retired” when Johnson came available and after that Marino retired, of course. Jimmy went on to have a very emo tenure with the Dolphins, and really left them in worse shape than he found them. His best offensive draft pick in four drafts was perhaps FB Rob Konrad.

  17. bhindenemylines says: Jun 2, 2011 9:54 PM

    NFL Football Now says:
    Jun 2, 2011 7:13 PM
    44-6

    ___________________________

    Obviously an eagles fan.

    That’s one game.

    Here’s one for you:

    Dec. 26th 1960.

    The last time your team won a championship.

    50+ years….

    How old are you???
    ;)

  18. garrisjs says: Jun 2, 2011 9:58 PM

    There are many reasons as to why the majority of Americans fall into Group B a.k.a. “people who hate the Dallas Cowboys”
    But I think the biggest reason is the Dallas fans…

    I have no problem with anyone who lives or was raised in the Dallas media market and cheers for their local team.

    But the typical Cowboy fan never set foot in Dallas or even Texas, knows little about the game itself, sucks at fantasy football, has an older brother or father that is a Redskins or Steelers fan that they could not live up to so the only way to compete was to pick a glitzy team that always gets the media hype.

    This type of Dallas fan represents sporting world’s biggest loser. They know they’re losers so they cling to a glamor team like the Cowboys just so they can say something idiotic like “Dallas won 5 Superbowls so they are the greatest”.
    This is typical of a loser Cowboys fan: they taunt all the time yet they know little of NFL history (many teams have more or as many championships than Dallas, including the Packers, Bears, Browns, Giants, Steelers, and Redskins)

    You gotta feel sorry for these people. At least Cardinals and Lions fans have their integrity!

  19. MCxShow says: Jun 2, 2011 10:05 PM

    In chronological order:

    -Losing Irvin and Sanders in the same offseason
    -Trading for Joey Galloway to replace Irvin only for him to get a season ending injury
    -Aikman retiring (how many QBs since?)
    -Emmit Smith being traded
    -Seattle playoff game (LOL Romo)
    -Giants playoff game (13-3 record w/ home field)
    -Vikings playoff game (34-3)
    -All of 2010

  20. melonnhead says: Jun 2, 2011 10:07 PM

    Dallas is the self-declared “America’s Team” and it really helped influence football fans one way or the other. Great marketing for Cowboy fans, but it still annoys everyone else to this day.

    ——————————————————

    Great marketing for the Cowboys. I don’t know a single Cowboy fan that embraces that “America’s Team” stuff for anything but trolling purposes. It leads to unreasonable expectations and serves as somewhat of an albatross around the neck.

    P.S. The Cowboys may have embraced the term, but NFL Films are the ones that declared the Cowboys “America’s Team”.

  21. tbpdog says: Jun 2, 2011 10:09 PM

    NFL Football Now says: Jun 2, 2011 7:13 PM

    44-6

    an eagles fan talking trash really? You have worse and more prolonged lows than the Cowboys franchise and none of the highs

    Dallas beating the eagles back to back weeks in 2 non competitive games to close the 2009 season and sweeping them 3-0 that year is far more of an owning than 1 fluky game.

  22. slickric72 says: Jun 2, 2011 11:10 PM

    How about when that bonehead of a coach Barry Switzer went for 4th & 1 twice and got stuffed by the Eagles twice and birds went on to win game

  23. Deb says: Jun 2, 2011 11:16 PM

    I can’t stand the Cowboys, but they were always a proud franchise until last season. Before Wade was fired, the camera showed guys pulling up rather than finishing plays. Jerry’s not my favorite guy, and I support the players in the labor impasse. But I wouldn’t blame him if he went through last season’s film and docked game checks for people who blatantly gave up on plays. When you’ve got players of that caliber, making that kind of money, pulling up instead of making a genuine effort … it doesn’t get any worse than that. And there’s no excuse for it.

  24. melonnhead says: Jun 3, 2011 12:33 AM

    “Dallas won 5 Superbowls so they are the greatest”.
    This is typical of a loser Cowboys fan: they taunt all the time yet they know little of NFL history (many teams have more or as many championships than Dallas, including the Packers, Bears, Browns, Giants, Steelers, and Redskins)

    —————————————————–

    Well there’s Super Bowl championships, then there’s NFL championships. I’ve never really put a lot of stock in the pre-merger championships, wasn’t around to see them and there’s a disconnect for me. Since 1960, the year the Cowboys were founded, only one team has more championships than the Cowboys and only one other has as many as the Cowboys. They’ve won a championship for every 10 seasons they’ve been around. That’s pretty good. I think only the Packers have done better.

  25. wigwam101 says: Jun 3, 2011 1:40 AM

    Hey PFT: FYI it’s schadenfreude, not schaudenfraude.

  26. stevecmh says: Jun 3, 2011 2:27 AM

    @garrisjs

    There are many NFL fans who do not live near their favorite teams, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Ever hear of Raider Nation or Steeler Nation?

    From my adolescent years in the today, it has taken real fortitude to be a Cowboys’ fan and reside in Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, and New Jersey. I consider it a badge of honor to live proudly in “enemy territory” not a reason for criticism.

    And yes, the Cowboys have enjoyed remarkable success over the years and that has made me very happy. I have also endured many heartbreaking losses, withering criticism and our share of stupid moments. As any true fan of a team does, I have stuck with the Cowboys through thick and thin.

    If Cowboy fans were so busy living in the past, we certainly wouldn’t be so concerned about the last 15 years and how to build on the success that started when Tony Romo took the helm at QB.

    BTW, I’m happy to say that I’m going for a three-peat in 2011, having won fantasy championships in 2009 and 2010. And, I have never had an Eagle, Giant or Redskin player on my teams and never will.

    So much for your armchair psychoanalysis…

  27. stevecmh says: Jun 3, 2011 2:36 AM

    OOPS!

    First sentence, second paragraph should read:

    From my adolescent years to today…

  28. seabreezes51 says: Jun 3, 2011 6:05 AM

    I remember when the Eagles beat the Cowboys 10-6 in 2007 in Texas.
    Westbrook made the smartest NFL play ever when he took a knee on the one after a 75 yard gain.
    The Cowboys fans had no idea what had happened (I was there) I had to explain to them why it was so smart. I lost any respect for them as football fans right there. The might be good rodeo fans but as football fans, they suck

  29. xsociallyxineptx says: Jun 3, 2011 6:30 AM

    Dear Cowboy fan, YOU SUCK AT LIFE!!! YEEEEEEHAWWWWW

  30. bhindenemylines says: Jun 3, 2011 7:27 AM

    garrisjs says:
    Jun 2, 2011 9:58 PM

    But the typical Cowboy fan never set foot in Dallas or even Texas, knows little about the game itself, sucks at fantasy football, has an older brother or father that is a Redskins or Steelers fan that they could not live up to so the only way to compete was to pick a glitzy team that always gets the media hype.

    ___________________________________

    I think you can say the same about any NFL team’s fans, or any sports team’s.

    Every team has knowledgeable fans, stupid ones, ones that like the team because they like their colors, ones that like the team because they were born their, or because their dad likes them, etc. Is any of these “wrong”?

    Who cares how you became a fan as long as you stick with them through the good and bad.

  31. oranjellojones says: Jun 3, 2011 8:29 AM

    @bhindenemylines…what a crock. Go to any team’s official site and pose the question who has the most bandwagon hopping, fair weather fans and it’s Dallas by a country mile on every site. Many of their fans are of the same ilk Yankee and Laker fans often are, they’re clueless front runners…PERIOD. Think boysroll the Redskins troll who yaps like the little ankle biter he is when he can get away with it but absolutely disappears for stretches that last weeks when his team is predictably losing and choking away another “Super Bowl season” their whole fanbase predicted for us.

    melonnhead…hate to break it to ya but the league DID exist before 1960, was less watered down talent wise and recognizes ALL of those championships in the Hall of Fame…hint: they don’t have asterisks next to them.

    If we’re talking all time no one even comes close to the Packers. Furthermore your team is as far removed from SB glory as my team the Redskins is and has won the same number of playoff games in the last decade. You know that decade since your team couldn’t benefit from a Herschell Walker roster stacking trade and have a Jimmy J building your team from the ground up. You can discount him all you want but the blatant facts are your team has been a running joke since he left. Every year they continue to suck is further indictment of Jerrah’s ineptitude and massive ego as a self appointed GM. and reinforces the opinion that if it wasn’t for Jimmy Johnson your team would be the same 1-15 craptacular team he took over. So trot out decades old history all ya want, the fact is your team has crapped the bed for over a decade now and that Gloried history has done two things for your present teams…jack and squat.

  32. oranjellojones says: Jun 3, 2011 8:36 AM

    Oh and mellonnhead if you don’t know a single Cowboy fan who embraces that then I would say you need to get out more and actually listen to what other Cowboy fans are saying or pass the dutchy, you must be on some good smoke! I hear that stupid nickname parroted ALL the time and the only doofs that do it are media hacks and Cowboy fans. Cowboy fans throw that absurd title up ALL THE TIME. It’s a large part of what makes thgem so irritating to all other football fans…the wanton unwarranted hubris coupled with abject cluelessness. Cripes you can’t POSSIBLY be serious.

  33. 1bigtex says: Jun 3, 2011 8:43 AM

    @garrisjs

    Don’t know if I qualify as a typical Cowboy fan, but I am one. Fifth generation native Texan and while I’ve worked all over the country, I’ve never lived anyplace else. I drive a pick-up, but the back seat and the bed are full of tools because it has to work for a living. BTW, spent yesterday at the ranch working on one of the tractors, just some periodic maintainence. Got to do a little brush eradication to improve the grazing for the cattle.
    Don’t assume a posture of being all-knowing when you so clearly ain’t there.

  34. wetdentist says: Jun 3, 2011 9:01 AM

    thank you wigwam101, i was surprised i had to scroll down so far till i found a correction on the title of this article!

  35. melonnhead says: Jun 3, 2011 9:03 AM

    Cowboy fans throw that absurd title up ALL THE TIME. It’s a large part of what makes thgem so irritating to all other football fans

    ——————————————————

    What did I say? I don’t know a single Cowboy fan that embraces that “America’s Team” stuff for anything but trolling purposes. It works, obviously. R U mad that the Cowboys are in fact America’s Team?

  36. romoscollarbone says: Jun 3, 2011 9:09 AM

    garrisjs says:
    Jun 2, 2011 9:58 PM

    But the typical Cowboy fan never set foot in Dallas or even Texas, knows little about the game itself, sucks at fantasy football, has an older brother or father that is a Redskins or Steelers fan that they could not live up to so the only way to compete was to pick a glitzy team that always gets the media hype.

    ___________________________________

    Cowboy fan here, born and raised in NJ, father is a Giant fan. My cousin is Drew Pearson(he’s before fantasy football, so you may not know him.), so growing up learning about his career fostered a love of the ‘Boys. I’ve been to Dallas a number of times to watch them in person. I always go see them @ NYG, WAS, and PHILLY.

    I consider myself knowledgeable about football, I did play in HS and D3 in college.

    As for fantasy, I haven’t had a team since 07 maybe, because I hate the idea that, the Cowboys can win a great game, and my fantasy team could still let me down and make me grumpy. Also, I don’t look at fantasy as a barometer of football smarts bc, let’s face it, at best your in a 12 team league, so everyone’s team is loaded anyway. Sure you win leagues by feeling out the waiver wire, but by and large its the luck of the draw.

    Sure it would’ve been nice to be a Giants fan a few years ago, but you take the good with the bad, I enjoyed ’92, ’93, ’95. I’ve also enjoyed the resurgence under Romo, and hope that Garrett and now Rob Ryan can get more out of these guys.

    I find it funny, that the personal biases of the PFT writes shine thru in these articles and allow you roaches to come out of the woodwork and push out your chests, yet, unless you’re a Packer fan, what do you really have the say? Plus none of you clowns ever say anything to me when I’m at the sports bar or in your home stadium. I’ve been in the bathroom at Giants stadium in full Cowboy gear and not heard a peep. Yet I went to a pre-season game at the Linc and watched a dude pour a full beer on a 8yr old kid wearing a Peyton Manning jersey, go figure.

  37. melonnhead says: Jun 3, 2011 9:19 AM

    @bhindenemylines…what a crock. Go to any team’s official site and pose the question who has the most bandwagon hopping, fair weather fans and it’s Dallas by a country mile on every site.

    ——————————————————

    Oh right, because teams that win one playoff game in 15 years are so bandwagon-worthy.

    Furthermore:

    “melonnhead…hate to break it to ya but the league DID exist before 1960, was less watered down talent wise and recognizes ALL of those championships in the Hall of Fame…hint: they don’t have asterisks next to them. ”

    Yeah, so? I said that there’s a disconnect for me and there is.

    “Furthermore your team is as far removed from SB glory as my team the Redskins”

    Um, no. The Cowboys won their last one in January 1996. Redskins won their last in January 1992. That’s pre-salary cap and pre-free agency. Learn some NFL history, buddy. And we’re not gonna bring up the OTHER two Super Bowl wins the Cowboys got in between those years.

    “You know that decade since your team couldn’t benefit from a Herschell Walker roster stacking trade and have a Jimmy J building your team from the ground up.”

    Again, R U MAD? It’s not like the Redskins don’t make trades. It’s not like the Redskins don’t have coaches. Just like Dan Snyder hired Steve Spurrier, Jerry Jones hired Jimmy Johnson! By the way, I can think of three current and future Hall of Famers that Jimmy Johnson did not bring in that made pretty big impacts… Michael Irvin, Deion Sanders and Larry Allen. And don’t forget that Jimmy Johnson didn’t really want to take Emmitt Smith, and drafting Aikman was a no-brainer… even though Jimmy tried to replace him with Steve Walsh.

    “the fact is your team has crapped the bed for over a decade now and that Gloried history has done two things for your present teams…jack and squat.”

    The last decade has seen the Cowboys run up a 13-7 winning record over the Redskins. Ya, U mad.

  38. packersurle says: Jun 3, 2011 9:29 AM

    I remember my Dad saying the cowboys were a good team – in the old days.

  39. stevecmh says: Jun 3, 2011 9:30 AM

    @romoscollarbone

    I’m with you on how having a fantasy football team can affect a fan’s feelings about their favorite team.

    That’s why I decided long ago that a Cowboys’ win will always be my number 1 priority every week, regardless of its impact on my fantasy team. That’s also why I will never have a player from the other NFC East teams on my roster.

    I had an embargo on 49ers players for several years, too, but finally let that one go. :-)

  40. melonnhead says: Jun 3, 2011 9:37 AM

    I don’t think that fans of other teams should be allowed to list the “worst moments” of their rivals. That should really come from fans of the team that you’re talking about, because only those fans feel the true pain of “worst moments” therefore only they can gauge which were the worst moments. Otherwise you’ll have fools like me saying that one of the Eagles worst moments was when Andy Reid proved that he’s a got a very low football IQ by going back to the well with that cute lil “start the game with an onside kick to try to show up the other guys” trick in ’03 and ended up giving up the quickest score in NFL history to a fast nobody named Randal Williams (a little over 3 seconds, by the way) and going on to lose the game.

    In case anybody’s wondering, the Cowboys have a winning record against the Eagles since that game.

  41. baronvonmonocle says: Jun 3, 2011 12:38 PM

    @oranjellojones

    Your insipid rant started off by saying that ‘Boys fans are frontrunners. Then you said that Dallas has sucked for the past decade. Well, which is it?

    Logic doesn’t have to be your enemy, you know.

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