1. Packers (No. 1; 11-0): Any sounds you hear coming from South Florida won’t be coming from a cork leaving a bottle of champagne.
2. Ravens (No. 6; 8-3): Given their history of stumbling against bad teams, the next four “easy” games could be the hardest on the schedule.
3. Steelers (No. 3; 8-3): The Steelers nearly experienced “choke-like symptoms” on Sunday night.
4. Patriots (No. 4; 8-3): The Pats are playing just well enough to fail to fulfill the expectations they’ll create in December.
5. Saints (No. 5; 8-3): They’ll be fine until they have to play on the road in the postseason.
6. 49ers (No. 2; 9-2): Unless and until the 49ers lose in January, Jim Harbaugh likely won’t be rooting for his brother in the playoffs
7. Texans (No. 9; 8-3): Wins in the playoffs could be hard to come by without a quarterback who has some playoff experience.
8. Cowboys (No. 11; 7-4): If the Cowboys keep it up, Tony Romo will have a chance to commit another game-altering turnover in January.
10. Bears (No. 7; 7-4): Caleb Hanie’s hiney soon will be back on the bench.
11. Falcons (No. 13; 7-4): They need to develop a killer instinct if they want to make it back to the playoffs.
12. Lions (No. 8; 7-4): In fairness to Suh, no one ever specifically told him that stomping was frowned upon.
13. Bengals (No. 14; 7-4): In the first NFL season since 1997 without T.O. and Randy Moss, the Bengals have a wideout who could be better than both of them.
14. Broncos (No. 15; 6-5): Tebowmania will be very dangerous in a single-elimination tournament.
15. Jets (No. 16; 6-5): Beating the Bills was, ultimately, the equivalent of delaying the inevitable.
16. Titans (No. 17; 6-5): If Chris Johnson without his burst can rush for 190 yards, he could go for 400 yards once he can explode again.
17. Giants (No. 10; 6-5): Bill Cowher’s plans are about to change.
18. Eagles (No. 18; 4-7): DeSean Jackson dropped that pass because he prematurely launched into his “hide under the bed” touchdown celebration.
19. Seahawks (No. 19; 4-7): The 12th man apparently took a day off.
20. Buccaneers (No. 20; 4-7): The “toughest . . . schedule . . . ever” excuse went out the window in Nashville.
21. Bills (No. 21; 5-6): So if Stevie Johnson had scored a touchdown against the Eagles, would he have gotten on all fours and barked like a dog?
22. Cardinals (No. 26; 4-7): This team may not be as far away from contending as it appears.
23. Chiefs (No. 22; 4-7): This team may not be as far away from contending as it appears.
24. Chargers (No. 23; 4-7): This team may not be as far away from contending as it appears.
25. Dolphins (No. 24; 3-8): This team may not be as far away from contending as it appears.
26. Browns (No. 25; 4-7): And the streak ends at four.
27. Panthers (No. 29; 3-8): Cam Newton had flashbacks to the national title game, given that his opponents in Indy were roughly as good as the 2010 Oregon team.
28. Redskins (No. 30; 4-7): Back-to-back home games against the Jets and Patriots could make or break Mike Shanahan for 2012.
29. Jaguars (No. 27; 3-8): Though it’s not clear who the next coach will be, it’s safe to say the next coach will have no offers to coach other NFL teams.
30. Vikings (No. 28; 2-9): So if the Vikings have another 3-13 season, does Bud Grant come back again?
31. Rams (No. 31; 2-9): Is it possible for the offensive rookie of the year to become a bust?
32. Colts (No. 32; 0-11): “If we fire the defensive coordinator, maybe people won’t think we’re trying to get the first pick in the draft.”