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Saturday morning one-liners

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Bills DE Mario Williams would be wise to keep his silencers out of Buffalo.

Dolphins WR Clyde Gates wants fans to “Believe in Miami.”  (First, they have to figure out who in the hell Clyde Gates is.)

Pats C Dan Koppen wants to finish his career in New England, which could extend beyond the two years of his new deal with the team.

Jets LB Bart Scott says he had a “powwow” with coach Rex Ryan.

Paying back a $4 million lockout loan apparently provides Ravens LT Bryant McKinnie more than enough incentive to participate in the offseason program.

New Bengals CB Terence Newman blames his performance in 2011 on a hamstring injury; “I’m a rockhead about some things and I tried to play through it,” Newman says. “I wanted to be there for my teammates and I ended up probably hurting them.”

Thanks, ESPN, for telling us that the fourth-place team in a division that sent three teams to the playoffs last year will have a tough schedule in 2012.

Brigham Young DT Hebron Fangupo visited the Steelers on Friday.  (Yes, sometimes editorial decisions are influenced by a desire to type a guy’s name.)

Former Cowboys LB Bradie James said it was a “no-brainer” to join the Texans, whose defensive coordinator used to be James’ head coach.

Colts owner Jim Irsay wants the “fowl [sic] swine” who stole five of Tom Petty’s guitars to return them.  (Maybe Irsay should offer a reward.  Abby’s hatpick!)

Perhaps the Jaguars think that players who have wives will be less likely to get in trouble.

The Titans hope to get more out of DE Dave Ball via fewer snaps.

Of the last 40 defensive linemen drafted by the Broncos, only three have gone to the Pro Bowl — and one of them made it only after being moved to linebacker.

Chiefs WR Dwayne Bowe, an unsigned franchise player, won’t attend offseason workouts.

The Raiders had at least a little competition for TE Andre Hardy, who played basketball and not football in college; he visited the 49ers before signing with Oakland.

FB Jacob Hester’s decision to return to the Chargers came after a Wednesday visit to Seattle.

Cowboys WR Raymond Radway, who broke his tibia and fibula on the final play of the team’s last preseason game, has a rod in his leg and a shot at the No. 3 spot on the depth chart.

Giants co-owner John Mara perfectly summarizes the state of the league, in 50 words:  “We have a very exciting game, scoring is up, so many games go down to the wire, so much unpredictability in the game, everybody has a chance to win every year.  We really think we’re in a good place.  Our challenge going forward is how do we make it safer?”

The Redskins’ on-field offseason practices begin May 21, and end June 14.

With Bears trainer Tim Bream heading to Penn State, the Bears promoted two from within to replace him:  Chris Hanks and Bobby Slater.

Former Lions WR Charles Rogers allegedly threatened to kill his mother.  (In response, his mother said, “He did that a long time ago.”)

The Packers likely will be looking for a late-round quarterback.

The effort to get a stadium deal for the Vikings continues to be an uphill climb.

Falcons WR Roddy White wasn’t happy with the reaction to his Twitter declaration that he’s not gay.

Panthers QB Cam Newton doesn’t fear the Madden curse.

Saints QB Drew Brees will be walking a fine line between loyalty to his teammates and loyalty to himself by not showing up for the team’s offseason program.

A 35-year Bucs employee has received from the team a $35,000 check and a jersey with the number 35.  (Ronde Barber could eventually bankrupt the franchise.)

Cardinals G.M. Rod Graves and director of player personnel Steve Keim talk draft preparation.

Rams C Jason Brown, a free agent, may not pick a new team before the draft.

The 49ers hosted Baylor WR Kendall Wright on Friday.

Only CB Marcus Trufant and LB Leroy Hill remain from the Seahawks team that made it to Super Bowl XL.

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4 Responses to “Saturday morning one-liners”
  1. 2ndaryinsanity says: Apr 14, 2012 1:54 PM

    Mario DEFINATELY needs to realize “he ain’t in the Lone Star State no more!” ;o) Here in Texas, we have very liberal gun laws, especially compared to New York. I’d hate to see him get in trouble, but ignorance of the law won’t keep you out of hot water.

  2. kdish87 says: Apr 14, 2012 2:20 PM

    It seems like the Eagles always get left out of one-liners.

  3. beeronthefridge says: Apr 14, 2012 3:23 PM

    Clyde “the glide” Gates – a rookie last year from a small school – is right now, the fastest receiver in the nfl and as soon as he masters the intricacies of the pro game, safeties will have to stand at the end zone to defend him.

  4. ottawabrave91 says: Apr 15, 2012 12:06 AM

    finally Dwayne bowe news!!!!

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