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Saturday morning one-liners

Matt+Moore+Washington+Redskins+v+Miami+Dolphins+qWRDY09u6fVl Getty Images

It’s not quite as significant as Darrelle Revis gushing about Tebow, but Bills DB Aaron Williams apparently would like to attend a shirtless tequila party with Vince Young.

Jeff Bauer, a scout for 11 years with the Jets, replaces Joey Clinkscales at the Jets’ director of college scouting.

If everything goes as planned, the Dolphins’ 2011 MVP will be holding a clipboard in 2012.

Former Pats LB Ted Johnson is convinced that LB Junior Seau’s suicide is linked to concussions he suffered while playing football.

The theme of the Steelers’ 2011 highlight video is “Heart.”  (As in “Tim Tebow stabbed us in the . . . .”)

The Ravens reportedly haven’t decided whether to dock LB Terrell Suggs‘ pay for his non-football Achilles tendon tear.

Bengals CB Dre Kirkpatrick understands how the NFL compensation system currently works:  “They’ve got everybody slotted so you’ve got to earn it,” Kirkpatrick said.  “You get that second contract and hopefully you will have played up to the expectations everybody has for you.

Former Browns C Steve Everitt says bounties were around during his playing days.

As the Texans prepare to enter Phase 3 of the offseason program (OTAs), they’ve enjoyed 100 percent participation in Phase 1 and Phase 2.

With the arrival of G Zane Taylor, the Colts have now added three former Eagles offensive linemen.

The Titans have hired former Green Bay chief of police Jim Arts.

A tattoo shop co-owned by Jaguars G Uche Nwaneri is the subject of a yet-unsold reality show.  (Given all the yet-unsold reality shows, hasn’t the time come for a reality show about the efforts to sell a yet-unsold reality show?)

Chiefs S Eric Berry is hosting a youth football camp today in Kansas City.  (The agenda likely doesn’t include “cut blocking for receivers.”)

Former Chargers RB LaDainian Tomlinson continues to say that he’s 95 percent retired.

The non-playmaker-who-makes-plays for the Raiders plans to keep making plays even as he becomes a target of defensive attention.

Broncos G Chris Kuper continues to recover from a badly dislocated ankle suffered in Week 17.

Cowboys P Mat McBriar, who currently is an unrestricted free agent, is still recovering from February surgery to remove a cyst from behind his knee.

Eagles WR Riley Cooper keeps trying to climb the depth chart in Philly.

In a recent appearance on the Tonight Show, Redskins Robert Griffin III talked about his military upbringing.

The funeral for former Giants WR Stacy Robinson, who died earlier this month, will be held Saturday in St. Paul.

The Vikings will hold open auditions for their “Skol Line,” which may or may not involve smokeless tobacco, on June 11.

During a Friday car wash at ESPN, Bears WR Brandon Marshall said his new team can make it to the Super Bowl, and win it.

Packers WR Diondre Borel, an undrafted rookie in 2011, hopes to do what Victor Cruz did in his second NFL season.

In-house competition could make the Lions’ secondary better in 2012.

Falcons G.M. Thomas Dimitroff honored National Bike to Work Day, riding 40 miles from his home to the office.  (Coincidentally, I did the same thing, walking down to my garage, climbing onto my bike, fastening the helmet to my head, removing the helmet from my head, climbing off my bike, walking back up to my office, and sitting down at my desk.)

The contract given by the Bucs to Conor Barth proves once again that kids should quit running with a football and start kicking it.

Saints WR Adrian Arrington says the bounty scandal is a non-issue during offseason workouts; “In our facility, it doesn’t really get talked about,” Arrington said.  “It hasn’t really affected any of us at all.”

QB Kevin Olsen, the younger brother of Panthers TE Greg Olsen, plans to follow in Greg’s footsteps at the University of Miami.  (Hopefully without the rapping.)

49ers RB Brandon Jacobs and WR Mario Manningham opted not to personally collect their new Super Bowls rings in lieu of chasing their next one.

The Glendale City Council is scrambling to avoid a $67 million lawsuit from the Cardinals over a parking dispute at the team’s stadium.

At least a few teams had Seahawks QB Russell Wilson off their draft boards, due to his height.

The left guard position is wide open in St. Louis.

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5 Responses to “Saturday morning one-liners”
  1. thejuddstir says: May 19, 2012 12:27 PM

    “Saints WR Adrian Arrington says the bounty scandal is a non-issue during offseason workouts; “In our facility, it doesn’t really get talked about,” Arrington said. “It hasn’t really affected any of us at all.”………..who is this idiot trying to fool, LMAO. Everyday either Benson, Vilma, Payton, or someone from the Taints organization is talking about it. If it’s a non-issue, kinda funny they would have an empty seat on the plane, bus, etc. for Payton. Only after the season goes south will be hear these idiots complain about “all the distractions” .

  2. 504in860 says: May 19, 2012 1:46 PM

    Aww look at thejuddstir…out of all the one liners to comment on, he picks the Saints.

    Someone’s favorite team sucks.

  3. sooner712 says: May 19, 2012 2:08 PM

    Wow Mike that was responsible reporting…

    This is what was actually said:
    In the state of Texas Vince Young is about as close to iconic football status as there is with a few other exceptions (see: Dallas Cowboys). People in his native Houston joked that as a high schooler he was on TV more than the Texans. So it’s only natural that fellow University of Texas alum Aaron Williams couldn’t find the words to describe how cool it was when Young became his teammate when he signed with Buffalo.

    “I was in high school when he was playing (at Texas), said Williams. ”That guy is my idol. He’s the face of Austin (TX). I’m blessed to be his teammate. I have no words for being around him and seeing him be his normal self and funny. Longhorns stick together no matter what, but having him on this team is a bonus.”

  4. CKL says: May 19, 2012 3:34 PM

    I’m happy for Matt Moore, he deserved that MVP. Would have been cute if he won the Moore award too though. :)

  5. razon04 says: May 19, 2012 9:33 PM

    Did Brandon Marshall get traded? A second time?

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