Skip to content

Saturday morning one-liners

Baltimore Orioles v Tampa Bay Rays Getty Images

The Bills will be wearing a “JW Danforth” logo on their practice jerseys under a deal that makes the company the team’s official HVAC and Plumbing supplier.  (Here’s hoping the company did its due diligence on the damage Marcell Dareus can do to a toilet.)

Jets K Nick Folk participated in a “Dump the Dump” rally aimed at keeping a garbage facility out of his Upper East Side neighborhood.  (It’s unknown whether the City responded by saying, “F–k the Folk.”)

Former Dolphins DE/LB Jason Taylor has joined ESPN.

Pats QB Tom Brady is happy that offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels is back; “It’s nice to have familiarity with Josh kind of stepping into that role,” Brady said. “I really enjoy him. We’ve had a great working relationship for a very long time. It’s good to see him out there and work together. It’s been a fun spring.”

Bengals TE Colin Cochart has some advice for kids graduating from the high school he attended in Wisconsin; “Two things that have got me to the place I am now are persistence and very hard work,” Cochart said. “You never, ever want to quit.  You never want to not do enough.  If you think you are done studying, study some more.  If you think you are done working out, work out some more.”

Ravens LB Mike McAdoo, an undrafted free agent in 2011 who spent his rookie year on injured reserve, tore an Achilles tendon on Thursday and is out for the year.

From the ever-growing “That’s What She Said” file, here’s Browns coach Pat Shurmur:  “When the ball spins at you, what you see is the tip and so then you try to catch the tip.”

Former Steelers Jack Butler and Dermontti Dawson, members of the 2012 Hall of Fame class, are the featured guests for the Steelers 10th annual men’s fantasy camp.  (We’re trying to confirm whether Limas Sweed has registered as a participant.)

With Texans WR Andre Johnson injured (again), all but one of the team’s receivers have never played in an NFL  game.

With a maximum of 10 OTAs under the new CBA, Jags coach Mike Mularkey canceled the final session and took the team on a paintball excursion.  (LaRon Landry hopes they wore their cups.)

Titans RB Chris Johnson has added eight or nine pounds of muscle.

Colts owner Jim Irsay has a warning for anyone that may hurl insults at the team via Twitter:  “We accept fair n constructive criticism here, but anyone chirping that chump-punk garage will b blocked quicker than a 135 pound Nose Tackle.”

The Broncos have made progress in recent days on a long-term deal with K Matt Prater.

The next court date for Raiders receiver DHB on his DUI charge is June 28.

Chiefs WR Jonathan Baldwin missed practice Friday with an illness; he was replaced in the starting lineup by veteran Terrance Copper.

With the Chargers’ future in San Diego undecided, the field of candidates for the mayor who may decide their fate will be cut from four to two on Tuesday.

The Cowboys held an hour-long film session for the media this week; one reporter was chastised (jokingly) by defensive coordinator Rob Ryan for eating pizza during the meeting.  (The reporter should have said, “What?  I’m just having a G.D. snack.”)

Redskins secondary coach Raheem Morris is already making a mark in Washington; “I ain’t the loudest one on the defense no more,” CB DeAngelo Hall said.  “Raheem probably is.  I just love his energy, his coaching style.”

Former Eagles RB and current assistant coach Duce Staley has high praise for LeSean McCoy; “I see a guy that can be great,” Staley said.  “I see a guy that has some things that he has to shine up, of course, has some things that he has to work on, but I see a player that can definitely be one of the great ones that played in the NFL.”

Yes, an entire page on the Giants’ official website has been devoted to random Twitter reactions to the news that DE Osi Umenyiora has a new contract.

Could the Lions having 21 of 22 starters back be a bad thing?

A group of Packers fans wants to put a bronze plaque at Vince Lombardi’s grave.

Vikings LS Cullen Loeffler is developing a football-catching system that features metal in the ball and magnets in the gloves.  (In unrelated news, former Vikings WR Troy Williamson is contemplating a comeback.)

Should Bears RB Matt Forte face reality?

Though he’ll never leapfrog Cam Newton, Panthers QB Jimmy Clausen quietly is improving.

Saints season-ticket holders will get dibs on season tickets for the NBA’s New Orleans Hornets.

Bucs coach Greg Schiano celebrated his birthday by throwing out the first pitch on Friday night at the Tampa Bay Rays game — and he sent the ball high over manager Joe Maddon’s head; “I should’ve gotten up on the mound I guess, huh?” Schiano said. “Too much strength. I’ve got to get out of the weight room.”

Come September, the Falcons may have some tough decisions to make at defensive end.

Could Skelton vs. Kolb in 2012 have the same impact on the Cardinals at Warner vs. Leinart in 2008?  (The Magic 8 Ball says, “You’ve gotta be f–king kidding me.”)

The Rams and St. Louis will negotiate regarding potential upgrades to the Edward Jones Dome before submitting the issue to arbitration on June 15.  (We recommend against holding your breath.  Or any other involuntary bodily function.)

49ers WR Michael Crabtree is happy to be healthy, for a change; “I’m just feeling good, man,” Crabtree said. “It’s been a while. It just feels good not to have to go through so many warm-ups, putting on a bunch of wraps and [ointments] just to go out and play.”

Missing most of 2011 helped Seahawks CB Marcus Trufant realize how much he loves the game.

Permalink 5 Comments Feed for comments Latest Stories in: Home, Rumor Mill
5 Responses to “Saturday morning one-liners”
  1. ottawabrave91 says: Jun 2, 2012 10:24 AM

    Hey Irsay. I was a 185 pound nose guard in a 3-4 when i played in college. And yes i did get blocked. And after too many concussions to count from getting the crap beat out of me, they didnt let me play in games anymore

  2. bunjy96 says: Jun 2, 2012 10:47 AM

    Snide comments by the writer weren’t appreciated, warranted or needed-especially the implied language!

  3. suhperman says: Jun 2, 2012 11:05 AM

    This should be re-titled “Saturday morning one-paragraphers.”

  4. Mike Florio says: Jun 2, 2012 11:07 AM

    Whatever helps you get through your Saturday morning four-flusher.

  5. brohamma says: Jun 2, 2012 4:02 PM

    All Patriots fans have to be very happy that Josh McD is back. The fun in football will be found in New England again.

    Statue of Liberty vs. Jax., the whole “pass to Moss then back to Brady and deep bomb into the Pittsburgh secondary” the flea-flicker. Gotta love those plays!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!