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Saturday morning one-liners

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Bills quarterbacks coach David Lee is looking forward to the chase for the backup job; “That competition between Vince [Young] and Tyler [Thigpen] is going to be something special,” Lee said. ”It’ll be fun to watch.”

Dolphins RB Steve Slaton decided to re-sign with the team once he learned that zone blocking will be used for the running game.

The Pats have Ochocinco’d rookie WR Matt Roark.

Jets LT D’Brickashaw Ferguson is writing a series of children’s books.  (Teammate Antonio Cromartie could end up being Brick’s best customer.)

Ravens K Justin Tucker is hoping to give Billy Cundiff the boot.

Steelers Hall of Fame RB Franco Harris is even more convinced that Joe Paterno has no responsibility for the Sandusky mess; “After I read the Freeh Report, I feel even more strongly about Joe and about his non-involvement in any type of cover-up,” Harris said.  “There was no cover up.  No way would Joe ever cover-up anything like this.  No way would Joe protect Sandusky or protect the football program.”  (“Way,” says 99.9999998 percent of the rest of the world.)

As Bengals QB Zac Robinson tries to stick on an NFL roster, he spent his six weeks of idle time working with a trainer in Los Angeles.

New Browns WR Josh Gordon, who wore No. 12 in college, says he’ll have No. 86 “til the end of camp.”  (Colt McCoy wears No. 12, possibly “til the end of camp.”  If not sooner.)

A company that makes green cleaning products is clumsily hitching its wagon to Texans RB Arian Foster’s decision to switch to a vegan diet.

16 players are competing for jobs on the Titans’ defensive line.

Now that QB Andrew Luck has been signed, Colts owner Jim Irsay’s Twitter page consists solely of song lyrics.

If not a football player, Jaguars RB Maurice Jones-Drew wanted to be an astronaut.

A photo taken of Broncos DE Elvis Dumervil after his arrest shows his shirt partially untucked, which meshes with the allegation that he had a gun stuck in the waistband of his pants.

Chiefs S Eric Berry says his knee is “very close” to 100 percent; it’s close enough that he was covering receivers during a University of Tennessee workout on Thursday.

Raiders S Tyvon Branch says the “sky is the limit” for his potential improvement.

Get to know the Chargers rookies, including G Johnnie Troutman.

Cowboys QB Tony Romo is tied for fourth after the first round of the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship.

Eagles QB Mike Vick realizes that, before his team can become a dynasty, they have to take care of the Giants.

Former (and possibly future) Giants S Deon Grant is hoping to sign with a team not long before the regular season starts.

Former Redskins C Casey Rabach doesn’t completely rule out a return to football, but he says he’s “pretty much done.”

Here’s a look at the candidates for the left tackle job in Chicago.

Some Lions fans in Michigan won’t be able to see all of the team’s games on the local FOX affiliate, which will televise Packers games instead.

Former Vikings RB Chuck Foreman will be signing autographs Saturday at the Brainerd Lumberjacks semipro football game.  (The difference between this event and last week’s Cam Newton signing session is that, for $125, you can buy the team.)

Even at age 36, Charles Woodson is an important piece of the Packers defense; “In terms of making plays, he was our lead playmaker in that area,” defensive coordinator Dom Capers said.  “I just think there will be certain things he’ll still be able to do at a very high level.”

Bucs seventh-round rookie RB Michael Smith isn’t ready to concede the starting job to Doug Martin or LeGarrette Blount.

The Falcons have waived LB Matt Hansen with the “non-football injury” designation.

The Panthers’ website looks at the team’s defensive ends.

The “kill the head” remarks from former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams before the playoff game against the 49ers were regarded by one of the targets, Alex Smith, as “a little flattering.”

49ers QB Alex Smith is among the many who are gushing about WR Randy Moss:  “Great guy, great teammate, catches everything.”  (Let’s see what Smith says when “everything” includes passes 10 feet over Randy’s head.)

The Cardinals are participating in an effort to provide 2,000 backpacks to underprivileged children.

On July 25, Rams WR Austin Pettis will be hosting a fundraiser for his foundation.

A possible suspension of Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch could be a factor in the quarterback competition in Seattle, but as we’ve explained a 2012 suspension of Lynch is highly unlikely.

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4 Responses to “Saturday morning one-liners”
  1. peytonsneck18 says: Jul 21, 2012 12:20 PM

    Feels so good knowing preseason football is around the corner…off season is tooooooo long!!!

  2. prmpft says: Jul 21, 2012 2:19 PM

    Here’s one for the Python (Monty) fans – if not a football player (or an astronaut), MoJo wanted to be – a Lumberjack…

  3. ragingrhyno21 says: Jul 21, 2012 2:46 PM

    Can someone please photoshop Maurice Jones-Drew in a space suit? That would be incredible.

  4. dboy10 says: Jul 22, 2012 9:44 PM

    Hahahahahaa. “A photo taken of Broncos DE Elvis Dumervil after his arrest shows his shirt partially untucked, which meshes with the allegation that he had a gun stuck in the waistband of his pants.” Pardon me I had to laugh at that. How come nobody has pointed out that dumb statement? Im not saying he did/didnt have a gun im just saying the above statement doesnt mean anything & makes no sense.

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