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Jared Allen envies Adrian Peterson’s body

Adrian Peterson, Jared Allen, Kevin Williams AP

Do you watch NFL games on Sunday and ask yourself, “How come Adrian Peterson looks so good in those tight pants, but if I eat one ice cream sundae it goes right to my thighs?”

If so, Jared Allen feels your pain.

Allen, the Vikings defensive end who has been Peterson’s teammate for four years, told Ed Werder on ESPN that he doesn’t think Peterson is going to have any trouble at all getting back to full speed after last season’s torn ACL, because Peterson doesn’t have a body like the rest of us.

“I don’t think so,” Allen said. “I don’t think it’s going to be hard at all. He is a man-child. He is a manimal.”

Allen then launched into an envious appreciation of Peterson’s physique.

“That dude, I was just watching him run at minicamp, and that dude has got muscles on top of muscles, and he eats like two quarts of Cold Stone a day,” Allen said. “I have one bite of pizza and I put 13 pounds on. It’s just ridiculous. This guy’s got 2 percent body fat, shredded. I’m leaving my shirt on at the pool. It sucks.”

Allen’s comments seem to have more to do with how good Peterson looks in the locker room than how soon Peterson will be back on the field, but the point remains: A torn ACL would hamper most running backs, but Peterson is a unique physical specimen.

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27 Responses to “Jared Allen envies Adrian Peterson’s body”
  1. datnextone8 says: Jul 26, 2012 8:20 PM

    Football is back!!!

  2. wludford says: Jul 26, 2012 8:22 PM

    Funny.

  3. razic3k says: Jul 26, 2012 8:24 PM

    LOL!!!!! i love jared allen.

  4. ripster65 says: Jul 26, 2012 8:25 PM

    eewww…..

  5. sjsuraider says: Jul 26, 2012 8:25 PM

    You did that first sentence a little too well

  6. jmsincla says: Jul 26, 2012 8:26 PM

    Meeeee-owww

  7. 13fitzj says: Jul 26, 2012 8:27 PM

    Don’t we all?

  8. mediasloppy says: Jul 26, 2012 9:11 PM

    Jared does have a non-football body, but dominates on the field.
    AP is just a freak and dominates too.

  9. schmitty2 says: Jul 26, 2012 9:23 PM

    Do you watch NFL games on Sunday and ask yourself, “How come Adrian Peterson looks so good in those tight pants, but if I eat one ice cream sundae it goes right to my thighs?”

    Hate to say it MDS…I don’t know of many guys who eat ice cream and worry about it “going right to their thighs”

  10. evilfhud says: Jul 26, 2012 9:25 PM

    I’m really going to enjoy listening to this guy when he steps into the booth.

  11. redskinsrt says: Jul 26, 2012 9:25 PM

    Too bad he wasn’t there at the same time as Shiancoe.

  12. gmsalpha says: Jul 26, 2012 9:27 PM

    Oh man, that’s funny.

    I’m in the Jared Allen camp when it comes to food turning into fat.

    “It sucks.”

  13. beerbudsnbevo says: Jul 26, 2012 9:32 PM

    A little bit of man love goin’ on up there in Minny…

  14. hatesycophants says: Jul 26, 2012 9:44 PM

    Nice job, folks. Funny posts!

  15. ningenito78 says: Jul 26, 2012 9:44 PM

    Jared Allen’s next team should be the Packers.

  16. cleverbob says: Jul 26, 2012 9:49 PM

    I have fat on top of muscles. If I skip the gym for a day I have fat on top of fat.

  17. thegreatgabbert says: Jul 26, 2012 9:59 PM

    “Subway” is more likely envious of Peterson’s peter.

  18. thegreatgabbert says: Jul 26, 2012 10:01 PM

    Allen is on the “Subway Jared” train. First you get popular, then you get fat, then you die. Allegedly.

  19. bayoubauer says: Jul 26, 2012 10:04 PM

    Listen up, meow.

  20. purplehayseuss says: Jul 26, 2012 10:11 PM

    Peterson is also a unique mental specimen. He has control and will far above most people. his body literally does what he tells it.

  21. kegrun says: Jul 26, 2012 10:12 PM

    The gaydar machine Jim tricks Dwight and Michael into buying in The Office would go off immediately around me whenever Petersons Nike Pro Combat commercial comes on.

  22. staffordsyear says: Jul 26, 2012 10:14 PM

    I knew it!

  23. redbullenergydrink says: Jul 26, 2012 10:21 PM

    Hope you return to form, Peterson! Keep working hard and prove the critics wrong!

  24. firedup1 says: Jul 26, 2012 10:40 PM

    Don’t ask, don’t tell.

  25. wjmoffatt says: Jul 26, 2012 11:24 PM

    Jared Allen and the Gronk would be the two NFL players I would most want to be friends with. There would never be a boring moment.
    Instead of the Gronk family show, they should turn it into Gronk and Allen spliting time between the two, Gronk going out and partying, with Allen just doing ridiculous things.

  26. fcs34 says: Jul 26, 2012 11:48 PM

    Jared Allen envies Adrian Peterson’s body.

    Not that there is anything wrong with that.

  27. thankheavenfornumberseven says: Jul 27, 2012 12:03 AM

    Do you watch NFL games on Sunday and ask yourself, “How come Adrian Peterson looks so good in those tight pants, but if I eat one ice cream sundae it goes right to my thighs?”
    _____

    No I do not, because I am not a woman.

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