APDo you watch NFL games on Sunday and ask yourself, “How come Adrian Peterson looks so good in those tight pants, but if I eat one ice cream sundae it goes right to my thighs?”
If so, Jared Allen feels your pain.
Allen, the Vikings defensive end who has been Peterson’s teammate for four years, told Ed Werder on ESPN that he doesn’t think Peterson is going to have any trouble at all getting back to full speed after last season’s torn ACL, because Peterson doesn’t have a body like the rest of us.
“I don’t think so,” Allen said. “I don’t think it’s going to be hard at all. He is a man-child. He is a manimal.”
Allen then launched into an envious appreciation of Peterson’s physique.
“That dude, I was just watching him run at minicamp, and that dude has got muscles on top of muscles, and he eats like two quarts of Cold Stone a day,” Allen said. “I have one bite of pizza and I put 13 pounds on. It’s just ridiculous. This guy’s got 2 percent body fat, shredded. I’m leaving my shirt on at the pool. It sucks.”
Allen’s comments seem to have more to do with how good Peterson looks in the locker room than how soon Peterson will be back on the field, but the point remains: A torn ACL would hamper most running backs, but Peterson is a unique physical specimen.
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Football is back!!!
Funny.
LOL!!!!! i love jared allen.
eewww…..
You did that first sentence a little too well
Meeeee-owww
Don’t we all?
Jared does have a non-football body, but dominates on the field.
AP is just a freak and dominates too.
Do you watch NFL games on Sunday and ask yourself, “How come Adrian Peterson looks so good in those tight pants, but if I eat one ice cream sundae it goes right to my thighs?”
Hate to say it MDS…I don’t know of many guys who eat ice cream and worry about it “going right to their thighs”
I’m really going to enjoy listening to this guy when he steps into the booth.
Too bad he wasn’t there at the same time as Shiancoe.
Oh man, that’s funny.
I’m in the Jared Allen camp when it comes to food turning into fat.
“It sucks.”
A little bit of man love goin’ on up there in Minny…
Nice job, folks. Funny posts!
Jared Allen’s next team should be the Packers.
I have fat on top of muscles. If I skip the gym for a day I have fat on top of fat.
“Subway” is more likely envious of Peterson’s peter.
Allen is on the “Subway Jared” train. First you get popular, then you get fat, then you die. Allegedly.
Listen up, meow.
Peterson is also a unique mental specimen. He has control and will far above most people. his body literally does what he tells it.
The gaydar machine Jim tricks Dwight and Michael into buying in The Office would go off immediately around me whenever Petersons Nike Pro Combat commercial comes on.
I knew it!
Hope you return to form, Peterson! Keep working hard and prove the critics wrong!
Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Jared Allen and the Gronk would be the two NFL players I would most want to be friends with. There would never be a boring moment.
Instead of the Gronk family show, they should turn it into Gronk and Allen spliting time between the two, Gronk going out and partying, with Allen just doing ridiculous things.
Jared Allen envies Adrian Peterson’s body.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Do you watch NFL games on Sunday and ask yourself, “How come Adrian Peterson looks so good in those tight pants, but if I eat one ice cream sundae it goes right to my thighs?”
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No I do not, because I am not a woman.