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Jerry Jones closes window, opens up hole

Jerry Jones AP

The issue of closing windows came up a lot around the Cowboys this offseason.

Jason Witten fretted about it, but Tony Romo felt that was going too far. DeMarco Murray thought the window was wide open, DeMarcus Ware felt it shutting and Jerry Jones proclaimed that he was the only one who decided about the position of the window which, for the record, he implied would close on someone’s neck if the Cowboys didn’t make the playoffs. We may have missed a couple of examples, but that should suffice for qualifying how often the topic came up.

If Jones has his way, there won’t be any more window talk for the Cowboys. On the eve of the start of training camp in Oxnard, California, the Cowboys owner said it was time to leave discussions about windows to the folks at Microsoft.

“I want to close the window to closing the window,” Jones said, via Jimmy Burch of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. “That was off-season talk. We’ll leave it right there.”

As you can see, everything that can be said about this topic has already been said so we thank Jones for putting it to rest once and for all. And we thank him even more for saying something that makes it hard to remember anyone was talking about windows at all.

“I’ve been here 23 years. I’ve been here when it was glory hole days and I’ve been here when it wasn’t,” Jones said. “And, so, having said that, I want me some glory hole. So I have that perspective.”

We’re not even going to begin to weigh in on how open that might be for the Cowboys.

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41 Responses to “Jerry Jones closes window, opens up hole”
  1. azredbirds says: Jul 29, 2012 5:34 PM

    Ha!

  2. gcsuk says: Jul 29, 2012 5:35 PM

    Wow. What an absolutely horrifying visual. I feel so sorry for his wife/girlfriend/mistress.

  3. canadianvikingfaniii says: Jul 29, 2012 5:52 PM

    I can only imagine the faces on the reporters interviewing him.

  4. ambitoos says: Jul 29, 2012 5:54 PM

    The question is, does he want to win bad enough to replace himself?

  5. stampede101 says: Jul 29, 2012 5:56 PM

    You’ve go to be kidding me. Just…just way too easy.

  6. erikkramer1gamewonder says: Jul 29, 2012 5:58 PM

    Mr. Jones has provided us with unintentional comedy gold.

  7. hbinut says: Jul 29, 2012 5:59 PM

    What a total jackass. I’ll bet he’s visited a lot of glory holes.

  8. joebuckiscreepy says: Jul 29, 2012 6:00 PM

    You have to take advantage of the glory hole whenever it’s there…you never know what’s on the other side.

  9. dalucks says: Jul 29, 2012 6:06 PM

    When the owner of the house (team) says the window is closing, who are the tenants (players) to question him. Maybe they have not realized they are only renting the property. The owner can find new tenants for his uniforms, I mean his rental units.

  10. notthathand says: Jul 29, 2012 6:16 PM

    C’mon, get your minds out of the gutter. He meant the hole in the roof of the old stadium.

    Didn’t he?

  11. steelerfan9598 says: Jul 29, 2012 6:21 PM

    Funniest thing I’ve seen on here since Florio called Pac Man’s uncle Q-Bert.

  12. randallflagg52 says: Jul 29, 2012 6:30 PM

    Facepalm

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  13. theseekeroffun says: Jul 29, 2012 6:40 PM

    I am a longtime Cowboy’s fan and I cannot believe he made this comment. It is obvious that he his out of touch…I am 50, what is his excuse?

  14. blackdonnelly says: Jul 29, 2012 6:53 PM

    It’d be rather difficult to take much of anything “out of context” on Jerry’s response there.

    Best to leave it be at this point……not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  15. eviltwin007 says: Jul 29, 2012 6:54 PM

    WOW!!!! Wrong choice of words there, Jerry!!!! And I thought Irsay was stupid for some of the dumb things he says.

  16. raiderrob21 says: Jul 29, 2012 7:01 PM

    No he didnt! Did he???????

  17. nineroutsider says: Jul 29, 2012 7:08 PM

    Notice how the billionaire doesn’t know the slang meaning of “glory hole”. I guess he doesn’t have time to waste rotting his mind on the net like many of us do or watching garbage sitcoms/reality television. Could simply be his age though.

    I’m no better, but if we focused more on the things that mattered we’d all be better for it.

    Still, funny as hell though. He employs a glory hole perspective appearantly, so I think that means Garrett is on the other side. He will revoke the privilege if Garrett misses the playoffs and find a new operant. That’s how I read his words.

  18. blackbug99 says: Jul 29, 2012 7:12 PM

    Jerry was later allegedly seen at a rest stop off of Tom Landry Fwy!!

  19. dfwbillsfan14221 says: Jul 29, 2012 7:19 PM

    Not a Cowboys fan but quotes from Jerry always seem to make me laugh. Funny dude (intentionally or not)

  20. thereisfootballwestofjersey says: Jul 29, 2012 7:27 PM

    The Dallas Cowboys are no longer a football team. They’re an entertainment company

  21. wideright91 says: Jul 29, 2012 7:31 PM

    The glory hole days were when Troy Aikmam was there…

  22. hedleykow says: Jul 29, 2012 7:56 PM

    Senility is the best comedy.

  23. geniusesq says: Jul 29, 2012 8:09 PM

    Wait. I thought that the problem with the Cowboys is that they are the glory hole of the NFC East.

  24. brintfatre says: Jul 29, 2012 8:16 PM

    If Tebow wins the QB competition in NY Jones also said he was interested in a little dirty Sanchez.

  25. raidermot says: Jul 29, 2012 8:18 PM

    I wish I could be in the room when somebody told Jerry, “Uh – Um. Mr Jones… Well, you see, a uh ‘Glory Hole’ the way it is used today means…..”

    As a Raider fan, it is good to see somebody fill in the inept meddlesome owner, saying dumb stuff hole left by Al.

  26. steeelfann says: Jul 29, 2012 8:35 PM

    I think someone needs to stay off the porno and get back to scouting, football, etc.

  27. bangitfootball says: Jul 29, 2012 8:43 PM

    Golden Richards was there during the glory hole days

  28. burlyisatruefan says: Jul 29, 2012 8:45 PM

    Only Skeletor can make a comment like that. Funny!!!
    I believe the window comment was aimed at opie, I mean Romo. He and Garrat are both under a microscope.

  29. sosuhme says: Jul 29, 2012 8:48 PM

    I always knew the Cowboys sucked. Now we know where

  30. fcs34 says: Jul 29, 2012 9:41 PM

    Is Lisa Lampenelli writing JJ’s material these days ?

  31. scratchnpost1234 says: Jul 29, 2012 10:01 PM

    What’s the deal with MDS Josh? Is he some kind of Nancy boy, Detroit hater calling Schwartz out for (cover your eyes children) cussing at practice? I wonder how many other NFL coaches cussed at players today at practice? I would have posted under his article, but he’s such sensitive boy he just deletes all my posts . I guess he just can’t take someone having a different opinion then him, which I thought was the point of a comments section. Please give him my regards, and tell him what a good job he’s doing hiding behind his delete button.

  32. randallflagg52 says: Jul 29, 2012 10:02 PM

    Jerry Jones also vowed that they would lay a Cleveland steamer on any and all who dare oppose his team.

  33. brintfatre says: Jul 29, 2012 10:17 PM

    When asked about his teams offensive scheme for the season he refused to go into details, but did refer to it a few times as the Ohio Hotpocket.

  34. cooklynn17 says: Jul 29, 2012 10:35 PM

    Jerry, your team will see and get plenty of “Glory Hole Days,” srarting in week one when the Giants D-line stick their Johnson’s in your teams mouth.

  35. slick3 says: Jul 29, 2012 11:49 PM

    Jerry also promises when it rain through the great Cowboy stadium glory hole, the showers will be golden.

  36. ilovefoolsball says: Jul 30, 2012 12:17 AM

    Dirty Jerry! Who’s a bad boy?

  37. ldjred12 says: Jul 30, 2012 1:10 AM

    Did emmit Troy and Irvin enjoy the glory hole too

  38. philgrek says: Jul 30, 2012 1:40 AM

    Jerry is an old oil man, and glory hole is a term used often in the oil business. While its hilarious that he said this, I think its pretty obvious he has no idea about the seedier connotation of the term. Still funny though!!

  39. wfingers23 says: Jul 30, 2012 2:18 AM

    Bet he loves playing at the Steelers so he can order the Pittsburg Platter

  40. competitivecompetitioncompeter says: Jul 30, 2012 4:33 AM

    Ok, enough with the bathroom humor.

    Did I say bathroom? I meant bathhouse.

  41. 9ersfaithful says: Jul 30, 2012 2:14 PM

    That is an extremely poor choice of words haha

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