Jerry Jones closes window, opens up hole

AP

The issue of closing windows came up a lot around the Cowboys this offseason.

Jason Witten fretted about it, but Tony Romo felt that was going too far. DeMarco Murray thought the window was wide open, DeMarcus Ware felt it shutting and Jerry Jones proclaimed that he was the only one who decided about the position of the window which, for the record, he implied would close on someone’s neck if the Cowboys didn’t make the playoffs. We may have missed a couple of examples, but that should suffice for qualifying how often the topic came up.

If Jones has his way, there won’t be any more window talk for the Cowboys. On the eve of the start of training camp in Oxnard, California, the Cowboys owner said it was time to leave discussions about windows to the folks at Microsoft.

“I want to close the window to closing the window,” Jones said, via Jimmy Burch of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. “That was off-season talk. We’ll leave it right there.”

As you can see, everything that can be said about this topic has already been said so we thank Jones for putting it to rest once and for all. And we thank him even more for saying something that makes it hard to remember anyone was talking about windows at all.

“I’ve been here 23 years. I’ve been here when it was glory hole days and I’ve been here when it wasn’t,” Jones said. “And, so, having said that, I want me some glory hole. So I have that perspective.”

We’re not even going to begin to weigh in on how open that might be for the Cowboys.

41 responses to “Jerry Jones closes window, opens up hole

  1. Wow. What an absolutely horrifying visual. I feel so sorry for his wife/girlfriend/mistress.

  2. You have to take advantage of the glory hole whenever it’s there…you never know what’s on the other side.

  3. When the owner of the house (team) says the window is closing, who are the tenants (players) to question him. Maybe they have not realized they are only renting the property. The owner can find new tenants for his uniforms, I mean his rental units.

  4. C’mon, get your minds out of the gutter. He meant the hole in the roof of the old stadium.

    Didn’t he?

  5. Facepalm

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  6. It’d be rather difficult to take much of anything “out of context” on Jerry’s response there.

    Best to leave it be at this point……not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  7. Notice how the billionaire doesn’t know the slang meaning of “glory hole”. I guess he doesn’t have time to waste rotting his mind on the net like many of us do or watching garbage sitcoms/reality television. Could simply be his age though.

    I’m no better, but if we focused more on the things that mattered we’d all be better for it.

    Still, funny as hell though. He employs a glory hole perspective appearantly, so I think that means Garrett is on the other side. He will revoke the privilege if Garrett misses the playoffs and find a new operant. That’s how I read his words.

  8. Not a Cowboys fan but quotes from Jerry always seem to make me laugh. Funny dude (intentionally or not)

  9. The Dallas Cowboys are no longer a football team. They’re an entertainment company

  10. If Tebow wins the QB competition in NY Jones also said he was interested in a little dirty Sanchez.

  11. I wish I could be in the room when somebody told Jerry, “Uh – Um. Mr Jones… Well, you see, a uh ‘Glory Hole’ the way it is used today means…..”

    As a Raider fan, it is good to see somebody fill in the inept meddlesome owner, saying dumb stuff hole left by Al.

  12. Only Skeletor can make a comment like that. Funny!!!
    I believe the window comment was aimed at opie, I mean Romo. He and Garrat are both under a microscope.

  13. What’s the deal with MDS Josh? Is he some kind of Nancy boy, Detroit hater calling Schwartz out for (cover your eyes children) cussing at practice? I wonder how many other NFL coaches cussed at players today at practice? I would have posted under his article, but he’s such sensitive boy he just deletes all my posts . I guess he just can’t take someone having a different opinion then him, which I thought was the point of a comments section. Please give him my regards, and tell him what a good job he’s doing hiding behind his delete button.

  14. When asked about his teams offensive scheme for the season he refused to go into details, but did refer to it a few times as the Ohio Hotpocket.

  15. Jerry, your team will see and get plenty of “Glory Hole Days,” srarting in week one when the Giants D-line stick their Johnson’s in your teams mouth.

  16. Jerry is an old oil man, and glory hole is a term used often in the oil business. While its hilarious that he said this, I think its pretty obvious he has no idea about the seedier connotation of the term. Still funny though!!

  17. Ok, enough with the bathroom humor.

    Did I say bathroom? I meant bathhouse.

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