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Saturday afternoon one-liners

Pittsburgh Steelers v Denver Broncos Getty Images

Rugby-turned-football player Nate Ebner had a team-high 22 special-teams snaps for the Patriots in Week One.

Rex Ryan isn’t looking forward to playing in the place where he lost AFC title games as Ravens defensive coordinator and Jets head coach.

Bills defensive coordinator Dave Wannstedt thinks his defense will improve once they become more confident, less reactive, and more aggressive.  (The good news is they can’t get much worse.)

With RB Daniel Thomas out (concussion), the Dolphins will need rookies Lamar Miller and Jorvorskie Lane to step up.

Undrafted linebackers L.J. Fort and Craig Robertson made significant contributions for the Browns in Week One.

The Ravens will continue to rotate Terrence Cody and Ma’ake Kemoeatu at nose tackle.

Steelers WR Antonio Brown doesn’t know whether his new job of returning punts will continue.

Bengals offensive coordinator Jay Gruden was disappointed in how his running backs handled pass protection on Monday night.  (And ESPN’s Jon Gruden likely said it was some of the best pass protection he’d ever seen from a team’s running backs.)

The Titans apparently will stick with Michael Griffin at strong safety and Robert Johnson at free safety.

The Jags could have a hard time covering Texans WR Andre Johnson on Sunday.  (Who doesn’t?)

The Colts’ special teams showed promise in Week One.

Texans S Glover Quin is still trying to forget his role in a Hail Mary pass that gave Jacksonville a win in 2010.

A bootlegged Broncos/Obama T-shirt is a hot seller in Denver.

After missing Week One with a lingering calf injury, Raiders C Stefan Wisnieski will play on Sunday against the Dolphins.

Junior Seau’s No. 55 will join No. 19 (Lance Alworth) and No. 14 (Dan Fouts) as the only retired numbers in Chargers history.

Chiefs radio analyst Len Dawson thinks Bills coach Chan Gailey’s August 2009 departure as Chiefs offensive coordinator was a “strange deal.”

Redskins LS Nick Sunberg is “100 percent” certain he’ll be ready to go when his time on the temporary IR list has ended.  (And we’re 100 percent uncertain why the Redskins would use that one-per-club designation on a snapper.)

Giants DT Marvin Austin could be playing in his first real game since December 26, 2009.

Injuries could make Mardy Gilyard, who was re-signed this week, the No. 3 receiver for the Eagles.

Cowboys defensive coordinator Rob Ryan is trying to be quieter, because he doesn’t want to be a distraction.

Vikings OL Geoff Schwartz, who returned to practice only 23 days after hernia surgery, says he’s ready to play.

The Lions defensive linemen found brown, leather recliners in their meeting room, and it’s believed that DT Ndamukong Suh sprang for the new furniture.  (It’s important to properly rest the stomping leg.)

The Packers had been planning that fake field goal for two or three years.

Tedy Bruschi of ESPN smartly reconciles Aaron Rodgers‘ words to James Jones with Bears QB Jay Cutler’s chastisement of LT J’Marcus Webb.

Saints defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo thinks the defense let the team down in Week One; “Hopefully with a strong week of practice and some prideful men, which I do believe we have, we can get it straightened out,” Spagnuolo said.

Former Falcons LB Keith Brooking, who returns to the Georgia Dome with the Broncos on Monday, says he called Arthur Blank to apologize for Brooking’s “antics” after a game in 2009.

Panthers DE Charles Johnson is pragmatic about his lack of sacks; “If you ain’t getting nothing, you ain’t getting nothing.  People don’t look at [whether you got close].  People look at stats.  If I ain’t got none, I ain’t got none.”

When the Bucs face the Giants, it could be shades of Super Bowl XXXVII.

WR Andre Roberts is an emerging star for the Cardinals.

The 49ers converted only two of nine third downs on Sunday against the Packers.

With a bone bruise in his knee, Seahawks OT Russell Okung’s availability will be determined at game time.

The record for the largest gathering of people wearing false mustaches should be shattered on Sunday at the Edward Jones Dome, which could be the only record that the Rams shatter this year.

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5 Responses to “Saturday afternoon one-liners”
  1. mjkelly77 says: Sep 15, 2012 1:12 PM

    The Lions defensive linemen found brown, leather recliners in their meeting room, and it’s believed that DT Ndamukong Suh sprang for the new furniture. (It’s important to properly rest the stomping leg.)
    _____________

    You just had to get that shot in there. I know, I know, you have to take advantage of the opportunities when they present themselves. If Suh really wanted to stomp the shoelace-untying hack, he could have broken his forearm or at the minimum drawn blood. It was much like a boxer pulling his punch. He obviouly didn’t mean to physically harm. He was frustrated at the bush league shoelace stunt.

  2. suheveryone says: Sep 15, 2012 2:56 PM

    Exactly what mjkelly77 said.
    This is such an old, tired non story. Please get over it.

  3. formyministy says: Sep 15, 2012 3:13 PM

    @mjkelly77: your comment doesn’t fit the template. Suh is dirty for the “stomp” that wasn’t really a stomp, while it’s funny when Jared Allen punches an opponent in the junk. And Allen bragged that he was going to do it, then bragged after he did it. League turned a blind eye and pft posters think that makes Allen “great”, while Suh is “dirty”. Don’t try to use logic, they’ve already made up their minds.

  4. kinggeorgexii says: Sep 15, 2012 5:21 PM

    “Bills defensive coordinator Dave Wannstedt thinks his defense will improve once they become more confident, less reactive, and more aggressive. (The good news is they can’t get much worse.)”

    He sucks every where he goes. Name one particular job that he succeeded at the last 12 years.

  5. staff2cj4td says: Sep 15, 2012 5:33 PM

    wow, the suh thing happened 10 months ago, and that’s all you have to say???

    jesus christ, we see you are anti-lions, we got it, but dude, really, let it go

    and kinda funny no mention about that dirty charles woodson, last year on opening night he punched the saints player 5 seconds after the whistle, and thursday he dove at cutlers leg, if he would of hit him he’d be out for the year, just like brady was, but no mention of woodson???? hahaha this website can’t hold a candle to espn.com, your like tmz……SAD

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