Skip navigation
Favorites
Sign up to follow your favorites on all your devices.
Sign up

Some players think Nike uniforms make them look fat

Colin Kaepernick

San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick (7) celebrates after scoring a touchdown with teammates Alex Boone (75) and Joe Staley (74) during the first half of an NFL football game against the New York Jets Sunday, Sept. 30, 2012, in East Rutherford, N.J. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

AP

Every husband inevitably gets the question from his wife. In some cases, the question is asked routinely. Possibly daily.

But now the tables have been turned, at least among some NFL players. In major cities throughout America, large men are modeling their football uniforms and asking their wives, “Do I look fat in this?”

According to the Wall Street Journal, plenty of players have come to the conclusion that, yes, they look fat in this. And they don’t like it.

I don’t really care for the new jerseys,” Ravens defensive lineman Terrence Cody said. “I feel like they should put different material in for the big guys.”

49ers guard Alex Boone was defiant. “It makes me look fat, and I’m not fat,” Boone said. (He tips the scales at 300 pounds. Apparently, it’s water weight.)

But Boone has corroboration. The sight of him in the Nike jersey elicited a Kramer-style response. “It looks like you ate a small baby,” Mrs. Boone said. (And, of course, she now calls her husband “Dingo.”)

Players also complain about the performance of the jerseys when wet, something that inevitably happens due to rain or sweat.

Or, possibly, their own urine from the laughter sparked by seeing a player who looks like he ate a small baby.