1. Falcons (five first-place votes): Early-season wins are like money in the bank. And the Falcons are more cash-rich than anyone else right now.
2. Ravens: It’ll be hard to stay at No. 2 without No. 52 and No. 21.
3. Giants: They play down to the level of the competition, and they play up to the level of the competition.
4. Bears: Are we the only ones who see the irony in Jay Cutler complaining about how other people treat him?
5. Texans: In Houston, Sunday Night Football officially will be listed in the TV Guide as a comedy. Or a tragedy. Or both.
6. 49ers: Who’s got it better than us? At least five teams and maybe more.
7. Seahawks: That “win” over the Packers could be a difference-maker come playoff time.
8. Patriots: Gisele says her husband can’t prevent Sidney Rice from splitting double coverage.
9. Packers: There’s nothing like fabricated notions of disrespect to turn a team around.
11. Vikings: Exactly once every 10 years, the Vikings defense is made to look foolish by a young quarterback who can run faster than anyone in the Minnesota organization.
12. Cardinals: If Kevin Kolb’s skeleton isn’t fully intact . . . hell, you know where I’m going with that one.
13. Steelers: Warren Sapp may have been only a year too early with his “old, slow, it’s over” line.
14. Eagles: Firing Juan Castillo for being a bad defensive coordinator is like firing a race car driver for being a bad airplane pilot.
15. Rams: It won’t be another six years before this team is back over .500.
16. Redskins: Maybe a “mild” concussion is a good thing.
17. Jets: When the starting quarterback throws for 82 yards and he’s believed to have done a good job, the bar is way too low.
18. Bengals: The team that could beat everyone but the Ravens and Steelers last year suddenly can’t beat anyone.
19. Chargers: After last night’s game, folks in Southern California will prefer blackouts.
20. Dolphins: The most underrated surprise of the 2012 season could have a few more tricks up their collective sleeves.
21. Lions: Suh seems to play better after being sued.
22. Colts: Like it or not, this team is still rebuilding.
23. Saints: If they want to make things interesting, they’ve got to beat the Bucs on Sunday.
24. Buccaneers: If they want to make things interesting, they’ve got to beat the Saints on Sunday.
25. Cowboys: If they want to make things interesting, they’ve got to beat the Panthers on Sunday.
26. Titans: If they want to make things interesting, they’ve got to stick with Matthew Hasselbeck.
27. Bills: If they want to make things interesting, they’ve got to get Shawne Merriman back to his old form.
28. Panthers: If they want to make things interesting, they’ve got to have Steve Smith punch someone.
29. Raiders: If they want to make things interesting . . . OK, that’s enough.
30. Browns: The 2008 Lions thought they were going to have company.
31. Jaguars: Their best selling point to folks in England? “We score like a soccer team.”
32. Chiefs: “With the first pick in the 2013 draft . . . .”