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Saturday morning one-liners

NFL: Preseason-Chicago Bears at New York Giants Getty Images

Bills CB Aaron Williams, a second-round pick in 2011, is in a slump.

The Jets, without their shutdown corner, realize they won’t be able to shut down the Pats’ passing attack.

Former Dolphins LB Channing Crowder is now a full-time host on WQAM radio in Miami.

Pats QB Tom Brady is apparently now using the “10 more years” line on owner Robert Kraft.

Like a fart at a funeral, no one wants to claim credit for the rumors linking Nick Saban to the Browns.

The former Steelers doctor accused of conspiring to distribute steroids and HGH is exercising his right to remain silent.

The former Bengals cheerleader/teacher who pleaded guilty to having sex with a student says she and the now-18-year-old “victim” are in love.

Ravens QB Joe Flacco doesn’t plan to do anything differently despite the looming threat of a batted pass from Texans DE J.J. Watt.

Jags LB Daryl Smith still hasn’t played this season, due to a groin injury.  (Fred Taylor wants to know when they’ll start calling him “Fragile Daryl.”)

The Colts have purchased 2,500 upper-level tickets to donate to fans who want to attend Sunday night’s WNBA Finals game between the local WNBA team and whichever other team is in the championship round.

The Titans likely will be throwing the ball down the field more to rookie WR Kendall Wright.

The Texans have never ever ever never ever ever never beaten the Ravens.

A healthy S Kendrick Lewis could be the key to the Chiefs’ defense.

Raiders LB Philip Wheeler has assumed leadership of the defense — and the little green sticker that goes along with it.

Chargers fans aren’t taking a “Chill Pill” in response to team P.R.’s request that they take a “Chill Pill.”  (Meanwhile, 1983 isn’t taking a “Chill Pill” over the fact that its saying has been misappropriated.)

The guy who used to wear only a barrel and a smile to Broncos games will be remembered in a Colorado museum.

Giants DL Chris Canty is building a 13,000-square-foot mansion on Hilton Head Island.  (Here’s hoping the gates look like his facemask.)

The Washington City Paper has given a new name to the Redskins.

Former Eagles C Jamaal Jackson is volunteering his services.

The Cowboys TV ratings in the Dallas-Fort Worth area are down 18 percent from last year.

Lions QB Matthew Stafford isn’t bothered by criticism from Ron Jaworski and Phil Simms.

Vikings S Jamarca Sanford could be playing well enough to keep Mistral Raymond out of the starting lineup once he’s healthy.

Bears WR Devin Hester says one of the team’s wideouts will “blow up” on Monday night against the Lions.  (Hopefully, it won’t come after eating a batch of Wild Turkey Surprise.)

Bill Clinton knew how to suck up to Packers fans while trying to persuade folks in Wisconsin to re-elect a Bears fan.

Panthers OL Geoff Hangartner is known as Piggy, given the way he runs when pulling.  (Or maybe because he has a small tail.)

Bucs RB LeGarrette Blount likes being the closer.

If you don’t know much about Falcons coach Mike Smith, you will after reading this.

Saints interim-to-the-interim coach Aaron Kromer has a chance to end his assignment on a high note.

The Cardinals’ tackles may have a rough time on Sunday with Jared Allen.

Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch drew high praise from the 49ers’ safeties.

49ers WR Mario Manningham, who missed Thursday night’s game with a shoulder injury, says he expects to play next Monday against the Cardinals.

Rams K Greg Zuerlein says he kicked a 74-yard field goal during practice in college.  (Gus the mule isn’t impressed.)

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7 Responses to “Saturday morning one-liners”
  1. steelernationfartsinyourfaceandwinschampionships says: Oct 20, 2012 11:35 AM

    6 rings

  2. ronworthdubbs says: Oct 20, 2012 12:13 PM

    The picture you have is Justin Tuck, not Chris Canty.

  3. eyeh8goodell says: Oct 20, 2012 12:26 PM

    That facemask is so counterproductive. You can’t tell me that doesn’t hinder his vision. Style over substance.

  4. atlbusat says: Oct 20, 2012 1:06 PM

    Sent from my iPhone

  5. heisthejuan says: Oct 20, 2012 1:15 PM

    steelernationfartsinyourfaceandwinschampionships says: Oct 20, 2012 11:35 AM

    6 rings
    ————————————————————–

    All with the help of steroids. Biggest cheats in the game.

  6. thestrategyexpert says: Oct 20, 2012 2:33 PM

    Yeah Stafford has bigger problems than criticisms from Jaworski and Simms, he has criticisms from me he should worry about first! I pointed out his errors before they did and I have a more complete assessment of his play than they provided, that’s a trumping concern.

  7. gatorsandsteelerssuckbigblackclocks says: Oct 20, 2012 2:34 PM

    The stealers have been a very close team for years. After games they take their clothes off and pump each other…with roids.

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