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Saturday one-liners

Denver Broncos v New York Jets Getty Images

How bad was Thursday night’s loss by the Jets?  Fireman Ed left at halftime and deleted his Twitter account.

Patriots defensive coordinator Matt Patricia says the impact of the very big Vince Wilfork comes from “little things” that don’t show up on the stats sheet.

Bills DE Shawne Merriman is becoming more confident.

The Dolphins are considering various upgrades to their 25-year-old stadium.

The 17 rookies on the Browns’ roster are learning about the Pittsburgh rivalry.

Bengals TE Jermaine Gresham is fueling his team’s recent run.

Ravens RB Ray Rice has only two 100-yard games this season, and he has averaged only 55.6 yards over the last five games.

The Steelers’ home field will get ripped up on Saturday, with four high-school games being played there.

Colts interim coach Bruce Arians calls Sunday’s visit from the Bills a playoff game; “We have to take that approach because Buffalo is taking that approach,” Arians said.  “They’re do-or-die, we better be do-or-die. That’s been our mindset all week.”

Titans RB Chris Johnson was happy to have a week off, but he “wouldn’t have minded to keep on going,” given his recent run of success.

Jaguars QB Chad Henne knows that a key to getting the starting job beyond 2012 is to get the team’s first home win of the season on Sunday.

Texans coach Gary Kubiak didn’t regard getting kicked in the nuts to be a sufficient excuse for QB Matt Schaub’s failure to make the throw; “He didn’t like that,” Kubiak said of Schaub.

Raiders FB Marcel Reece is finally getting the stats, but he’d prefer to be getting the wins.

Chiefs WR Dexter McCluster delivered Thanksgiving dinner to an elderly fan, and in return she gave him the business.

Broncos LB Von Miller is conjuring comparisons to Hall of Famer Derrick Thomas.

With Chargers LT Jared Gaither on IR, it’s time for undrafted free agent Mike Harris to step up.

Giants QB Eli Manning has a history of performing well after the bye week.  (So did Andy Reid.)

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is in “awe” of Robert Griffin III.  (No one currently is in awe of the Cowboys.)

Redskins WR Pierre Garςon “suffered no setbacks” after a five-catch, 93-yard performance against Dallas.

With Eagles RB LeSean McCoy likely out, seventh-round rookie Bryce Brown is expected to get the bulk of the carries on Monday night.

Lions defensive end Willie Young loves fishing.  (He’ll have time to do plenty of it in January.)

Lost in the poor performance of the Bears’ offensive line on Monday night is the fact that the Bears’ defensive line wasn’t every good, either.

The unexpectedly good recovery of Vikings RB Adrian Peterson has left RB Toby Gerhart unexpectedly out of the mix for touches.

When the Packers face Detroit on December 9, Cory Uttech of Sheboygan will be the first non-player to perform the Lambeau Leap during a game.  (And then Ndamukong Suh will kick him in the crotch.)

Buccaneers DT Gerald McCoy calls rookie S Mark Barrona silent killer.”  (Barron likely has used the phrase “silent but deadly” in reference to McCoy at some point this season.)

Saints safeties Roman Harper and Malcolm Jenkins are trying to forget what Vernon Davis did to them the last time they faced San Francisco.

After being shredded by LaRod Stephen-Howling, the Falcons are hoping for better run support against the Muscle Hamster.

The Panthers get another chance to prove they’re ready for primetime.  (Or to prove they’re not.)

The 49ers’ kick and punt coverage units have improved significantly in recent weeks.

Coach Jeff Fisher realizes something has to give when the Rams, who haven’t won in five straight games, face an Arizona team that has lost six straight.

Cardinals defensive coordinator Ray Horton said that the intended message of the reduced use of S Adrian Wilson was “do your job and do your job well.”

The Seahawks emerge from the bye week healthy and rested and ready for the stretch run.

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8 Responses to “Saturday one-liners”
  1. manilovethepftcensors says: Nov 24, 2012 1:01 PM

    Wow even more cheap shots than usual directed towards the Lions in the one liners today.
    I wish I could say I was surprised.
    The majority of players in the league would have plenty of time to fish in January as most of them will not be in the playoffs. Never mind that inconvenient fact though.
    I think that most of us have accepted that they won’t be playing in the post season this year. Clearly the more important thing is that the Millen era is over and we will be a force to be reckoned with in the future. I think the fact that we lost by a combined 7 points to two of the “best teams” in the league (GB and Houston) the past two weeks speaks very clearly to the fact that we are not a doormat in the league anymore.
    I understand why this is upsetting to some of you so please keep the cheap shots coming. We think they’re funny and we will ultimately have the last laugh.

  2. lawyermalloy says: Nov 24, 2012 1:24 PM

    hank you for reporting on Fireman Ed; my life is now complete!

  3. i, flounder says: Nov 24, 2012 1:26 PM

    i guess that’s one less avenue for fireman ed to use to acquire his male lovers. i know our community, trust me he’s a part.

  4. j0esixpack says: Nov 24, 2012 1:54 PM

    Fireman Ed isn’t the only one to go missing. Seems like a lot of bombastic Jets fans like “jetsrstacked” and others haven’t been seen on this board for quite some time.

  5. thetokyosandblaster says: Nov 24, 2012 1:56 PM

    manilovethepftcensors says:
    Nov 24, 2012 1:01 PM
    Wow even more cheap shots than usual directed towards the Lions in the one liners today.
    I wish I could say I was surprised.
    The majority of players in the league would have plenty of time to fish in January as most of them will not be in the playoffs. Never mind that inconvenient fact though.
    I think that most of us have accepted that they won’t be playing in the post season this year. Clearly the more important thing is that the Millen era is over and we will be a force to be reckoned with in the future. I think the fact that we lost by a combined 7 points to two of the “best teams” in the league (GB and Houston) the past two weeks speaks very clearly to the fact that we are not a doormat in the league anymore.
    I understand why this is upsetting to some of you so please keep the cheap shots coming. We think they’re funny and we will ultimately have the last laugh.

    Do you think people will take anything you seriously when you include a 4 win team not being a doormat?

    The Lions overachieved last year. Battling for last is where they belong, and will end up for the rest of this decade.

    Now give the computer back to your daddy.

  6. themightyhoustontexans says: Nov 24, 2012 2:51 PM

    manilovethepftcensors says:
    Nov 24, 2012 1:01 PM
    Wow even more cheap shots than usual directed towards the Lions in the one liners today.
    I wish I could say I was surprised.
    The majority of players in the league would have plenty of time to fish in January as most of them will not be in the playoffs. Never mind that inconvenient fact though.
    I think that most of us have accepted that they won’t be playing in the post season this year. Clearly the more important thing is that the Millen era is over and we will be a force to be reckoned with in the future. I think the fact that we lost by a combined 7 points to two of the “best teams” in the league (GB and Houston) the past two weeks speaks very clearly to the fact that we are not a doormat in the league anymore.
    I understand why this is upsetting to some of you so please keep the cheap shots coming. We think they’re funny and we will ultimately have the last laugh.

    *****************************************

    Who’s “We”? You got a mouse in your pocket?

  7. harrisonhits2 says: Nov 24, 2012 4:59 PM

    “manilovethepftcensors says:
    Nov 24, 2012 1:01 PM
    Wow even more cheap shots than usual directed towards the Lions in the one liners today.”

    Just wondering where the outrage is from the Lions fans that you coach, who is paid millions of dollars a year to know the rules of the game, cost your team a game by blatantly not knowing a very important one?

  8. 69finfan says: Nov 24, 2012 5:25 PM

    I would like for the Dolphins to not only consider various upgrades to the team, you know, players (screw the stadium) but actually carry them out. Just a thought.

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