Evan Rodriguez arrested after continuing to disobey cops

AP

Bears tight end Evan Rodriguez didn’t want the attention that came with police questioning after an accident involving a car he was the passenger in, but probably cost himself a trip to jail because he lacked that internal timer that tells a person when it’s best to shut up.

(In other news, my wife just got a sharp pain in the back of her head and has no idea why.)

Sean Jensen of the Chicago Sun-Times obtained a copy of the police report from Rodriguez’s arrest in Miami Beach last night on charges of resisting without violence and disorderly intoxication.

According to the report, Rodriguez balked when an officer asked for his identification, saying “For what? I don’t need this,” and then “I’m an NFL player. I don’t need all the media stuff.”

When the officer told him the information was going into the passenger section of the traffic accident report, he gave the information but appeared upset. He then walked away, but returned when another officer was giving the driver of the car he was in a roadside sobriety test. He then walked into the middle of the road, was told to go back to the sidewalk, but returned. Asked again to go to the sidewalk, he replied: “I’m hardheaded like that and I don’t have to listen.”

Told again to go the sidewalk, he replied: “I don’t need this. I’m an NFL player.”

After continuing to pester the cops, a crowd gathered, and police reported Rodriguez “slurred speech, blood shot watery eyes and a strong odor of alcoholic beverage emitting from his breath.”

Every indication in the report is that Rodriguez would have been ignored as nothing more than a passenger if he had been polite and minded his own business.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my phone’s ringing. It’s the wife.

31 responses to “Evan Rodriguez arrested after continuing to disobey cops

  1. He should have said “I need this attention. I’m not a well known NFL player & this media attention surely can’t hurt.” No such thing as bad publicity, right??

  2. Evan evidently has what is a common mental disorder known as “The Tom Brady Identity Syndrome”. You see Evan, as much as you may think you is him, you ain’t. Getting a job with the Fins in the near future is not recommended.

  3. Ah, so maybe we should draft Eifert for our 2nd. TE after all…As for Rodriguez, I’m hoping he is smarter when sober – as most of us are.

  4. Everyone needs that little guy on your shoulder telling you…
    “that’s enough. Shut up now”.

    Comes in handy

  5. Has there ever been a police report without the description of “slurred speech, blood shot watery eyes and a strong odor of alcoholic beverage emitting from his breath.”? That is a blanket, purely subjective, statement every officer is taught to include because it is hard to dispute in court. I had a friend once pulled and arrested on a “suspected DUI” charge and the same statement was in the police report even though he claimed of innocence while breath and blood reports were negative. Then again, my friend didn’t make a nuisance of himself

  6. Darin, your quip about the wife not knowing when to shut up is classic. “Now if you’ll excuse me…”

    I love funny news.

    But, yes, this dude was clearly an idiot. He thought it was one was one way, but it was the other way.

  7. Like anybody knows who this guy is. Furthermore, there’s only about a million people with the last name Rodriguez running around Miami even if anybody did know who he was.

  8. ddweer says: Mar 21, 2013 3:08 PM

    Has there ever been a police report without the description of “slurred speech, blood shot watery eyes and a strong odor of alcoholic beverage emitting from his breath.”? That is a blanket, purely subjective
    ______________
    This IS TRUE – cops should have to video the whole thing to prove any of these things. But of course cops would never lie.

  9. Look at the bright side, at least it isn’t another “[insert name here] arrested for DUI.” He may have been acting like a moron, but at least he was smart enough to not get behind the wheel, which apparently is a difficult concept for players to grasp these days.

  10. I’m sorry, are you suggesting that your wife doesn’t know when to shut up? And then thought it would be a good idea to post that on a website that is available globally?

    Enjoy your night on the couch.

  11. That clearly shows signs of stupidity. But hopefully he makes a good leap from year one to year two like many players do. We do not need to draft a TE, too many other holes.

  12. landof10000lakes says:
    Mar 21, 2013 4:35 PM
    I’m sorry, are you suggesting that your wife doesn’t know when to shut up? And then thought it would be a good idea to post that on a website that is available globally?

    Enjoy your night on the couch.
    —————————————————————
    For those people born – like landof10000lakes -without a sense of humor, you might want to consider that Gantt is making fun of himself, that his wife would suggest HE doesn’t know when to shut up.

    My God, do we have to draw joke diagrams for some of you morons?

  13. pinion8ted says:Mar 21, 2013 4:50 PM

    My God, do we have to draw joke diagrams for some of you morons?
    _____

    Yes, please. I don’t get it. Does his wife not know when to shut up? Does he not know when to shut up? Why is she feeling a pain in the back of her head? Is making fun of your wife funny? Is referring to your wife as “the wife” socially acceptable?

  14. Non-story. Guy was drunk and got up when he was told to sit. It doesn’t sound like he was trying to pull the “I’m in the NFL” card it sounds more like he was worried about being involved because he was in the NFL. He was wrong, but most adults, drunk or sober, don’t like being told to go sit down like a toddler getting a time out. Many would have reacted the same way even if it is stupid. I mean it’s not like he killed two guys, dumped their bodies, and then hid his blood soaked white suit…wait the NFL doesn’t care about that kind of thing; just people not taking a police issued time out in the corner.

  15. “Every indication in the report is that Rodriguez would have been ignored as nothing more than a passenger if he had been polite and minded his own business.”

    And if you don’t believe a Police Officer is in control of your rights while not breaking the law during their investigation of an incident … They will prove you wrong.

    You have the right to be really sweet, and submissive, or they have the right to arrest you.

  16. pinion8ted says:Mar 21, 2013 4:50 PM

    My God, do we have to draw joke diagrams for some of you morons?

    ———–

    Why are you being such a jerk? It’s confusing, they’re just looking for a clarification.

  17. Why would a passenger need to be licensed to drive a vehicle while, you know, being a passenger?

    That important question out of the way, of course he could have made things a lot easier on himself.

  18. annnd im sure darin will not try to attempt humor anymore lol some ppl are ridicilous it was a clear joke.. which i thought was pretty hilarious. pinion8ted- yes there alot of morons ‘ why are you being such a jerk’ – answer? bec you all are dumb haha

  19. From “A Drunk Automobile Passenger’s Guide to Interactions with Police”:

    Best course of action:

    Say nothing and shrink into as small a ball as possible.

    Acceptable things to say:

    Yes sir.
    No sir.
    You’re right sir.
    I’m sorry sir.

    Unacceptable things to say:

    Everything else when you’re going to blow over the legal limit on an alcohol test.

  20. ddweer: what you wrote, “slurred speech, blood shot watery eyes and a strong odor of alcoholic beverage emitting from his breath,” is not subjective. Those are facts you dolt. Either the officer is lying or not but subjectivity is not an option.

  21. darin gantt just report the nfl news and leave the jokes to comedians. that was annoying to read.

  22. nomoreseasontix says: Mar 21, 2013 3:06 PM

    Everyone needs that little guy on your shoulder telling you… “that’s enough. Shut up now”.
    ___________

    I have that guy, problem is that he goes drink for drink with me and then starts egging me on…

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