Since many of you were consumed with college basketball this weekend, we realize that you’ll now be using your work time to catch up on what happened over the past two days in the NFL.
That’s where we come in.
Here’s a quick look, one-liners style, at the stuff you missed while watching your brackets dissolve into broth.
There’s a new Dream Team in town. (Unlike the other one, this version has actually accomplished something.)
Baltimore’s “In Oz We Trust” mantra paid off with the acquisition of Elvis Dumervil.
After the Dumervil debacle, agents will be viewing the Broncos with, yes, suspicious minds.
Still, Elvis’s exit shouldn’t leave the Broncos, yes, all shook up.
With Dumervil leaving Denver, Dwight Freeney or John Abraham could be arriving.
TE Fred Davis could be circling wagons soon.
RB Marshawn Lynch wasn’t circling the golf carts when he returned to Cal.
QB Jake Locker may be riding in a golf cart, again.
Bryan Thomas may be playing golf.
Anthony Adams will be hanging out at White Castle.
Ed Reed won’t be hanging out in Baltimore any more, but he thanked the folks who still do.
Osi Umenyiora will soon be hanging out in Atlanta.
Shane Lechler will be hanging out in Texas, again.
Tom Zbikowski will be hanging out in Chicago, again.
Brandon Tate will still be hanging out in Cincinnati.
Brian Banks simply wants to hang out in any NFL city.
Dr. James Andrews needs to hang out at a P.R. seminar.
The Bucs are hanging out a “for sale” sign on Eric Wright.
Javon Ringer doesn’t understand why the Titans are hanging out with Shonn Greene.
Trent Richardson has been hanging out with some tough women. Allegedly.
Browns owner Jimmy Haslam says the Browns won’t go 13-3 in 2013.
The Bucs won’t either, especially if they can’t fix their defense.
Bills C Eric Wood will be fixing sandwiches.
Giants WR Victor Cruz could be fixing caviar sandwiches, if he wanted.
Eagles coach Chip Kelly won’t be fixing any magic potions.
The butt-fumble tour continues.
The Cardinals are being coy about their interest in a rookie quarterback.
The Bills aren’t.
The folks at UNC have a fairly extreme solution to agent abuses.
The folks in New Jersey have a fairly obvious solution to the NFL’s issues with legalized gambling.
Adrian Wilson has a fairly smelly solution to his desire to get No. 24 from Kyle Arrington.