Tim Tebow doesn’t sleep. He waits.
Tim Tebow has counted to infinity. Twice.
When Tim Tebow does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself. He’s pushing the earth down.
Yes, we can now take Chuck Norris Facts and turn them into Tim Tebow Facts, because the man himself, Chuck Norris, has given Tebow his seal of approval. Norris wrote a column in which he decried Tebow’s current unemployment and said that Tebow is a lot like Norris himself.
“Tebow is a player who rises to the occasion and delivers big in critical game moments,” Norris wrote. “He reminds me of myself when I used to compete in martial arts. I would spar with my black belts in class, and sometimes they would outscore me. Yet in the tournaments, I would defeat them. My students used to ask me, ‘Why can we contend equally against you in class, but we can’t beat you in the tournaments?’ My answer was always the same, ‘When it counts, I rise to the occasion.’ The same is true of the former Heisman Trophy winner: When pressure mounts and the game is on the line, Tim’s turbo turns on!”
Truthfully, Norris should probably stick with the roundhouse kicks and leave the football analysis to others, because his analysis of Tebow leaves a lot to be desired. If it’s true that when it counts, Tebow (like Norris) rises to the occasion, how are we to explain Tebow’s last game as a starter? That was in the playoffs following the 2011 season, and Tebow went 9-for-26 for 136 yards as the Broncos lost to the Patriots, 45-10.
Norris refers to Tebow as the “ultimate clutch player,” but this NFL season, Tebow is probably going to be missing in action.