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Von Miller gets existential about chickens

350x-2 AP

I get plenty of quote sheets.  I try to skim at least most of them, even though in most cases it’s the same old blah-blah say noting bullcrap.

Then there’s Broncos linebacker Von Miller, and his side business of raising chickens.

At the very bottom of a stack of quotes from six different Broncos coaches and players came Miller’s most recent poultry-related remarks.  Specifically, someone asked him which came first, the chicken or the egg?  (Seriously.)

Said Miller:  “For me, I think it’d have to be the chicken.  You need something to protect the eggs.  You just can’t have eggs there.  I’m sure there are a lot of theories out there of where stuff comes from.  For me, I think it was some form of a chicken or something that had to lay the egg first.  It just depends upon how you look at it.  Is the glass half full or half empty?  For me, it just makes sense for a chicken to come first.”

Hopefully, another member of the media eventually will ask Miller why the chicken crossed the road.  Or whether the chickens have large talons.  Or, perhaps more importantly, if the rooster goes with the hen, who’s having sex with the chicken?

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25 Responses to “Von Miller gets existential about chickens”
  1. gsiggins says: Jun 12, 2013 10:03 PM

    I absolutely love that he didn’t take the question rhetorically and actually took a shot at an answer.

  2. maven2222 says: Jun 12, 2013 10:06 PM

    Educated people say the egg

  3. dalanz28 says: Jun 12, 2013 10:07 PM

    That’s perverse!!!!!

  4. dalanz28 says: Jun 12, 2013 10:07 PM

    LOL!!!

  5. MichaelWrites says: Jun 12, 2013 10:08 PM

    If you have scrambled eggs for breakfast and KFC for dinner, then the answer must be “the egg.”

  6. MichaelWrites says: Jun 12, 2013 10:12 PM

    Existensial?

  7. philhartmanonic says: Jun 12, 2013 10:13 PM

    The answer is obviously egg. All chickens are born from eggs, so regardless of when whatever that was genetically similar to a chicken gave birth to the first actual chicken, that almost chicken laid an egg which contained the first chicken.

  8. raiderinva says: Jun 12, 2013 10:18 PM

    I give Von Miller credit. Without even realizing it he actually doubled down on Albert Einstein’s realization that the answer lies with energy over mass.

    Proof that he is too smart to be a Bronco.

    Brilliant

  9. elliottcovert says: Jun 12, 2013 10:25 PM

    And I thought Arian Foster was the philosophy major

  10. mnajb says: Jun 12, 2013 10:29 PM

    The egg of the evolutionarily modern chicken was laid by the most recent ancestor of evolutionarily modern chickens, and NOT a modern chicken. The egg came first.

  11. swashbucklin says: Jun 12, 2013 10:29 PM

    what

  12. letmesetyoustraight says: Jun 12, 2013 10:29 PM

    Everybody knows that the rooster came first. Duh.

  13. alphadux2u says: Jun 12, 2013 10:36 PM

    Better question: which came first, the idiot or the “journalist”?

  14. thegreatgabbert says: Jun 12, 2013 10:42 PM

    The chicken came first and the egg said “Damn you, what about me?”.

  15. cmahdavi says: Jun 12, 2013 10:46 PM

    Just to settle it once and for all: Which came first the Chicken or the Egg? The Egg — laid by a bird that was not a Chicken – Neil DeGrasse Tyson

  16. thegreatgabbert says: Jun 12, 2013 10:49 PM

    Von is still learning as a chicken rancher. Like when he took a trail drive of 8000 head of chickens from Texas up the Panhandle, then over the Great Divide to Denver. Between the the thieving local savages, the coyotes, and his hungry trail hands, weren’t none of them left at the end.

  17. thegreatgabbert says: Jun 12, 2013 11:21 PM

    Von went from being the big man on campus to the big man on the chicken run.

  18. kgb108 says: Jun 13, 2013 1:55 AM

    Which came first…the adult or the baby? Put it in perspective and talk amongst yourselves.

  19. djohnson11882 says: Jun 13, 2013 2:16 AM

    The better question would be, how the hell did KFC find an egg that contained a boneless chicken and mass reproduce it!!!!!

  20. kd75 says: Jun 13, 2013 2:25 AM

    He is correct in regards to chickens and eggs. An Egg didn’t just materialize and hatch a chicken.

    But eggs are older than chickens. Fish lay eggs and Fish been around longer than chickens.

    But if Von Miller ever makes some good chicken wings, I am a buyer.

  21. joetoronto says: Jun 13, 2013 5:42 AM

    The salary cap came first and then the Bronco’s circumvented it, twice.

  22. 7insidethelines2 says: Jun 13, 2013 6:31 AM

    Surely Belichik can give us an answer.

  23. proflonghair says: Jun 13, 2013 9:15 AM

    What are his thoughts on woodchucks and chucking wood?

  24. nfloracle says: Jun 13, 2013 11:27 AM

    And this story with some truly clever and humorous comments proves beyond a shadow of a doubt how criminal it would be to remove the comment section from PFT.

    My son raises chickens, for what it’s worth, an endeavor that I don’t really understand though I do appreciate the free eggs I get every week. I have to admit that he too has become a deeper thinker as a result of the time he spends each day with his feathered friends.

  25. raiderapologist says: Jun 13, 2013 8:50 PM

    When I was 12 or so, a friend was moving away and said I could have his bantam chickens. I put them in a burlap bag and carried them the five miles back to my house. I put them in the chicken coop that was already on our property. The rooster escaped right away, and kept coming back to steal the hens. That little rooster was a bastard. After he lost his head, I raised nothing but cows. Compared to chickens, cows are easy. And taste much better, too.

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