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Saturday morning one-liners

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Bills DL Mario Williams has advice for his teammates until training camp opens:  “[T]his six weeks that everybody has is not just go home and eat Doritos.”  (Product placement!)

Free-agent FB Vonta Leach is still talking to the Dolphins, but there’s no timetable for a decision.

Jets TE Jeff Cumberland says he’s Rob Gronkowski and Kellen Winslow is Aaron Hernandez.  (It’s cute when kids play pretend.)

For the Patriots’ preseason games, Don Criqui and Randy Cross are out, and Dan Roche and Christian Fauria are in.

The Browns commenced the installation of the “FirstEnergy” sign at their stadium by putting in place a 12-foot-by-seven-foot “F”.  (Sometimes the jokes write themselves.)

Bengals WR A.J. Green refuses to call himself elite.  (He clearly is, but he knows nothing good can come from saying so.)

Ravens first-round S Matt Elam is drawing praise from rookies and teammates.

Former Steelers NT Chris Hoke thinks the team isn’t rebuilding but “refocusing.”  (Mr. Magoo says good luck with that.)

Jaguars owner Shahid Khan wants to develop the Shipyards property in Downtown Jacksonville.  (That’s Ship.)

Titans WR Damian Williams already has noticed the difference in the team’s passing game.

Texans rookie S D.J. Swearinger is getting reps — and attention — with Ed Reed unavailable.

Colts DE/LB Bjeorn Werner has a history of “playing up.”

Broncos DT Kevin Vickerson, who started 14 games last season, is looking to prove his “naysayers wrong.”

The local NBC affiliate in Kansas City will televise Chiefs coach Andy Reid’s Week Three return to Philly.

New Chargers G Chad Rinehart already knows the blocking schemes, given his time with position coach Joe D’Alessandris in Buffalo.

Raiders P Marquette King launched an 87-yard punt earlier this offseason.

Redskins WR Donte’ Stallworth’s gain was Redskins FB Dorson Boyce’s loss.

Cowboys WR Derek Dooley says WR Dez Bryant has been “blessed with rare talent.”  (And the time has come for Bryant to get the most out of it.)

Eagles QB Matt Barkley fired a Twitter shot at ESPN’s Adam Schefter.  (Wake me up when Barkley calls Schefty Satan.)

Giants DT Johnathan “Big Hank” Hankins hopes to prove he’s more than just big.  Hank.

Teammates are noticing maturity in Redskins TE Fred Davis.  (Of course he’s mature; his vocabulary includes the term flagellent.)

Bears coach Marc Trestman has increased the tempo at practice.  (But let’s continue to assume the new head coach with zero prior NFL experience who has done the same thing will instantly become one of the best coaches in the game.)

Vikings CB Xavier Rhodes wanted to be a pro wrestler when he was a kid.

Packers WR James Jones believes the team could have three 1,000-yard receivers in 2013.

Lions coach Jim Schwartz says RB Joique Bell has had “an outstanding offseason.”  (Possible translation:  With Reggie Bush and Mikel Leshoure in the fold, we’d really love to trade Bell.)

The Falcons are assembling an architectural dream team to build their new stadium.  (Wake me up when they hire Art Vandalay.)

Saints QB Drew Brees will finish in the teens and TE Jimmy Graham will appear nowhere on NFL Network’s Top 100 player list.

Panthers G.M. Dave Gettleman likes how the team is positioned (which doesn’t put as much pressure on the coaching staff than the usual G.M. declaration about how talented the team is).

As a reward for doing well in the offseason program, the Buccaneers skipped practice to watch World War Z.  (Their punishment would have been watching it twice.)

The 49ers are still deliberating whether to sign WR Austin Collie.

Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch is No. 24, in more ways than one.

Rams LB Alec Ogletree got an up-close look at a tornado last month.

Cardinals coach Bruce Arians isn’t concerned about the time missed by rookie RB Stepfan Taylor, who hasn’t been able to practice due to the stupid and outdated final-exam rule.

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14 Responses to “Saturday morning one-liners”
  1. kabasaman says: Jun 15, 2013 9:58 AM

    You guys at PFt really don’t like the Bears do you?

  2. deltszp says: Jun 15, 2013 10:19 AM

    Antonio Gates should be happy with his placement in the top 100 if Jimmy Graham is completely absent.

  3. pwcis says: Jun 15, 2013 10:48 AM

    kabasaman says:

    You guys at PFt really don’t like the Bears do you?


    Florio is a lifelong Vikings fan. What do you expect?

  4. neer911 says: Jun 15, 2013 10:55 AM

    How ridiculous is the NFL Network Top 100 if it excludes Jimmy Graham entirely?!

  5. northstarnic says: Jun 15, 2013 11:29 AM

    So is 24 the number of syringes Lynch has stuck in his backside? PEDhawks on the juice!

  6. cidman2001 says: Jun 15, 2013 11:35 AM

    So…..the only Vikings news that you could come up with was that Xavier Rhodes wanted to be a pro wrestler when he was a kid? As a wise old football celebrity once said (repeatedly)…..Come on man!!!

  7. JMClarkent says: Jun 15, 2013 12:22 PM

    Unless Marquette King can coffin corner or hang time the hell out of the ball, the Raiders are going to need a beast of a coverage team.

  8. tlmoon2112 says: Jun 15, 2013 12:44 PM

    Even if Cumberland and Winslow had Brady throwing them the ball they still wouldn’t be Gronk and Hernandez.

  9. theaxmancometh says: Jun 15, 2013 12:50 PM

    The coach is the QB now? I know Cutler sucks, but jeez…

  10. stanleyhalas says: Jun 15, 2013 12:59 PM

    Did this idiot just say trestman has zero nfl experience? Maybe I should get nfl news from a site that actually knows something about the nfl…

  11. gregalynch says: Jun 15, 2013 1:11 PM

    I think the shot he was taking in the paragraph on Trestman was aimed at the Eagles, not the Bears. Chip Kelly has also been upping the tempo at practice, but unlike Trestman (1) he has no prior NFL experience (2) some people are claiming he will be ‘one of the best coaches in the game.’ No one, to my knowledge, is saying that about Trestman.

    I will say the reference to Kelly is pretty veiled, though.

  12. criminalelement707 says: Jun 15, 2013 1:18 PM

    Y’all are idiots, the Trestman ref was a poorly written dig at Kelly. Still not a QB though

  13. dynaco says: Jun 15, 2013 1:32 PM

    “Cute” should be left to a womans vocabulary.

  14. nightofthehipple says: Jun 15, 2013 7:34 PM

    I think the Lions would trade Leshoure before Bell.

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