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Saturday one-liners


Mike Reiss of looks at the Patriots punting competition, and prompts me to do a double take upon reading the word “mishit.”

The 2013 Dolphins finally play a home game, and plenty of tough decisions remain when it comes to crafting the 53-man roster.  (The guys who don’t make the roster can be seat fillers at Sun Life Stadium.)

Jets QB Mark Sanchez is having a problem with his foot;  “They’re digging a hole in Mark Sanchez’s toe big enough to pull a half dollar out of it ’cause he’s got some nail that’s infected,” quarterbacks coach David Lee said.

Bills S Jairus Byrd will travel to Maryland for Saturday’s preseason game against the Redskins, but he won’t play.

Fans attending Saturday night’s Chiefs-Steelers game at Heinz Field will have to worry about more traffic than usual on the way home.  (To kill some time, fans can always hang around the parking lots and start some fights.)

With LB Jabaal Sheard (knee) and LB Barkevious Mingo (lung) out for Saturday’s game against the Colts, Quentin Groves slides into the starting lineup for the Browns.

Bengals CB Terence Newman shrugs at the prospect of playing his former team, the Cowboys, during the preseason.

Ravens S Matt Elam was flagged Thursday night for a hit that he saw as no big deal; “I would at least put more aggression into it if I’m going to get a flag,” Elam said. “I was just playing.  I wasn’t thinking about nothing.  It wasn’t really nothing. . . .  It wasn’t no big deal.”  (And that’s what they call a Grammar Trifecta.)

Titans S George Wilson, bumped from the starting lineup with the arrival of Bernard Pollard, will be on the field in the team’s three-safety package.

Texans LT Duane Brown has learned the best way to avoid holding is to avoid being in a position where holding is necessary.

Both Colts TE Coby Fleener (knee) and TE Dwayne Allen (foot) will miss the preseason game against Cleveland.

Former William & Mary RB Jonathan Grimes keeps trying to stick in the NFL; this time, he’s fighting for a spot on the Jaguars roster.

Chiefs QB Alex Smith is hoping to improve communication with receivers in Saturday’s game against the Steelers.

Broncos WR Andre Caldwell was fined $7,875 for grabbing a face mask while covering a punt return against Seattle.

Chargers RB Danny Woodhead will have a Darren Sproles-type role, playing on third downs and in two-minute drills and lining up at times in the slot.

Raiders CB D.J. Hayden delivered some hits during his first football action since absorbing a freak hit that nearly killed him.

With Robert Griffin III on ice for the preseason and Kirk Cousins injured, Redskins QBs Pat White and Rex Grossman may split the reps 50-50 in Saturday’s preseason game against Buffalo.  (Which means fans may split from FedEx Field a lot earlier than usual.)

Some Cowboys players think the new playing surface at their home stadium is more firm and less slippery.  (Are we now too mainstream to say “that’s what she said”?)

The Giants have three receivers who are trying to do what Victor Cruz once did — make the roster as undrafted rookies.

Eagles players in danger of getting cut include G Danny Watkins, S Kenny Phillips, S Kurt Coleman, TE Clay Harbor, and LB Casey Matthews.

Packers defenders are finding motivation in how badly they have played in recent seasons; “Everybody’s angry. You watch that game today, it had nothing to do with the Seahawks,” DE Mike Daniels said.

Lions TE Joseph Fauria, the nephew of former NFL TE Christian Fauria, could win a roster spot despite being undrafted.

With OT J’Marcus Webb struggling on Friday night against Oakland, Jonathan Scott may end up winning the swing tackle job for the Bears.

Former Vikings coach Bud Grant will make his first appearance ever at the Minnesota State Fair.

Some are calling Panthers LB Luke Kuechly the next Ray Lewis.

WRs Kenny Still and Nick Toon are poised to make an impact for the Saints this season.

Falcons DT Jonathan Babineaux is having a strong preseason.

The Bucs apparently love QB Josh Freeman — so why haven’t they married him to a long-term deal?

The Cardinals’ starters will play the entire first half, go through halftime adjustments, and play one series of offense and defense in the second half against San Diego on Sunday.

Rams coach Jeff Fisher isn’t concerned that his preseason offense has been sort of bland; “It bothers you guys.  It doesn’t bother me,” Fisher said. “We’ve got a regular season we’re concerned about.”

Hotel rooms could be hard to come by in Santa Clara once the new 49ers stadium opens.

Seahawks WR Golden Tate, the man who clearly pushed off in the “Fail Mary” play last year, heard it from the crowd at Lambeau Field on Friday night;  “Obviously you have a few who still want to hold on to it, flip you off and be classless,” Tate said.

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20 Responses to “Saturday one-liners”
  1. aaroncurryisbust says: Aug 24, 2013 12:32 PM

    Sleazy Packers fans. Good thing the Seahawks sent them sniveling home in more tears.

  2. harrisonhits2 says: Aug 24, 2013 12:45 PM

    Jets QB Mark Sanchez is having a problem with his foot; “They’re digging a hole in Mark Sanchez’s toe big enough to pull a half dollar out of it ’cause he’s got some nail that’s infected,

    Rexy – Mark sorry your foot is infected and we have to start Geno Smith in the first regular season game.

    Sanchez – My foot feels fine, what are you talking about ?

    Rexy – Mr Idzik told me about your foot Mark, its infected I guess, here let me show you (waves member of Jets medical staff over)

    Member of Jets medical staff – Look there Mark, that’s a big problem, I’m going to have to do a little procedure here (pulls out scalpel)

    Sanchez – What the hell are you talking about, my foot is OWWWWWWWWWW STOP THAT OWWWWWWWWWWW

  3. thingamajig says: Aug 24, 2013 1:09 PM


    And the media wonders why most athletes/coaches don’t want to talk to them.

  4. thegreatgabbert says: Aug 24, 2013 1:43 PM

    LOL at the Seattle Midget.

    “Boss! Boss! Come quick something is wrong with Tatoo! He is throwing the ball to the wrong team!”.

  5. pop562 says: Aug 24, 2013 1:44 PM

    Golden Tate? The guy who broke into a donut shop for some maple donuts. Yeah he knows about class.

  6. mcwest1 says: Aug 24, 2013 1:48 PM

    Don’t know why the animosity toward Tate. He didn’t make the call. Be mad at the replacement officials.

  7. frostymugobeer says: Aug 24, 2013 2:01 PM

    Rex Ryan said Mark’s foot is ” infectious ” NOT infected !

  8. doall24 says: Aug 24, 2013 2:24 PM

    @mcwest1, so what you are saying is, it is not a penalty if you don’t get caught? tate not only didn’t catch the ball, he pushed off the defender. so not only did the referees compound the problem by not calling the penalty, they also awarded tate the touchdown. lots of failure there.

  9. thegreatgabbert says: Aug 24, 2013 2:41 PM

    DangerRuss (but only to himself) was going to keep throwing the ball to the Packers until the replacement refs came back. Sooner or later he would be rewarded.

  10. themackstrong says: Aug 24, 2013 2:53 PM

    To the blaine gabbert fan. Your QB is afraid of his own shadow. Wilson had a tipped bag go for a pick and the other packer defense make an excellent play in cover 2. But hey reading statlines ia just as good as watching games

  11. mancave001 says: Aug 24, 2013 2:55 PM

    I’d be surprised if the Eagles cut Harbor or Coleman.

  12. osiris33 says: Aug 24, 2013 3:22 PM

    It was a catch

  13. thejuddstir says: Aug 24, 2013 4:18 PM

    ” flip you off and be classless,” Tate said.”………I’ve never liked the donut thief and have never agreed with anything he’s ever said….until now. It must’ve been his first trip ever to Green Bay for him to finally recognize what the rest of us have known about Packer fans for decades.

  14. hendeeze says: Aug 24, 2013 4:54 PM

    ” flip you off and be classless,” Tate said.

    Classless like when he looked into the camera and lied to the Nation? “No, I don’t know what you’re talking about” – Tate on if he caused offensive pass interference 2012 Packers vs Seahawks

  15. thegreatgabbert says: Aug 24, 2013 5:02 PM

    @themackstrong – Yeah, sorry I missed that, one of Tattoo’s interceptions came on a pass that deflected off the knee of a rushing lineman.

  16. doall24 says: Aug 24, 2013 5:15 PM

    true dat, hendeeze. the seapigeons and the cowardly lions, the most undisciplined teams and you need to look no further than their coaches to find the true character or lackthereof.

  17. kolbydoerge says: Aug 24, 2013 5:16 PM

    I think its funny now that the Seahawks kick butt, all you “fans” want to smear the LOGO. Deal with it, we are the team to beat not pretend that the Hawks are the only ones with baggage. HIPPY’s=NIMBY’s!

  18. alldonesmith says: Aug 24, 2013 5:22 PM

    Patrick Willis is already the next Ray Lewis. Sorry Luke. You’re 3rd in line behind NaVorro Bowman.

  19. mrlaloosh says: Aug 24, 2013 7:15 PM

    I don’t think Luke will murder anyone, literally.

  20. greyhawk9 says: Aug 24, 2013 11:50 PM

    Maple doughnuts are delicious

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