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Report: Von Miller worked with urine collector to beat drug tests


Last month, some of you suggested that we take off the tin-foil hat when making this observation about the procedures for gathering cups of urine from NFL players:   “Considering the financial stakes of a positive test, who’s to say a sample collector hasn’t been offered an envelope containing something other than a birthday card in order to ensure that the sample sent to the lab will be deemed clean?”

Sometimes, it’s good to wear a cap fashioned from thinly-sliced metals.

ESPN’s Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen report that Broncos linebacker Von Miller worked with a sample collector to try to beat the testing process.  Per the report, the league is “reasonably certain” no money changed hands, and that the collector was simply “star struck.”

We wouldn’t be so quick to be so reasonably certain.  Miller’s six-game suspension will cost him more than $2 million.  If there’s a way to pay a lot less to get the piss man to look the other way (literally and figuratively), why not try?

Well, here’s a reason.  Miller got caught.

Though Scheftersen gets credit for breaking the news, it’s not a surprise to anyone who was visiting this page in late August, when we wrote this:  “Per a league source, the NFL is nervous about potential flaws with the manner in which Miller’s sample was collected.  The anxiety and/or uncertainty possibly has contributed to the delay in taking the case to a hearing.  Currently, Miller and the league reportedly are negotiating a resolution that could drop the proposed six-game suspension down to four games.”

Miller ended up being suspended six games.  It most likely would have been worse, but for the fact that the sample collector hired by the league was in on the scam.

In the aftermath of the Miller situation, the league and the NFLPA have reiterated that the sample-collection procedures will be strictly enforced.  That may not be enough to solve the problem of potentially corrupt individuals charged with harvesting urine.

Obviously, the collector in this case has been dismissed.  If it turns out that the collector took money, he possibly also could be prosecuted.

While that could get the attention of other sample collectors, it may not be an ideal outcome for the NFL, since it could entail an excursion down a rabbit hole that the NFL would prefer to fill with cement and move on.

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35 Responses to “Report: Von Miller worked with urine collector to beat drug tests”
  1. thebirdofprey says: Sep 22, 2013 10:45 AM

    Von Miller, Aldon Smith says “You’re out of control bro.”

  2. sfninersfan says: Sep 22, 2013 10:49 AM

    I wonder if he offered him the money while the tester was watching him urinate in the cup. And if it swayed his opinion either way

  3. cutlertomarshall says: Sep 22, 2013 10:51 AM

    This looks really bad on him, suspend him for the full year!

  4. pilot2011 says: Sep 22, 2013 10:53 AM

    How does one become a urine sample collector?

  5. ravensfan8780 says: Sep 22, 2013 10:53 AM

    I’m normally not a fan of full year suspensions but if that is true Miller should be gone for the season and the lab tech should be fired. If someone wants to smoke weed or do whatever to their bodies fine, but take your consequences like a man. To pay someone to try to get around the system I feel like 6 games is something he got off easy with.

  6. h3min1230 says: Sep 22, 2013 10:54 AM

    All he got was 6 games?

  7. wearethesteelers says: Sep 22, 2013 10:57 AM

    If he were Patriot, he would know to dispose of the evidence.

  8. denverwally says: Sep 22, 2013 10:57 AM

    Denver fans are so proud of Von. He’s no Hernandez, but he sure is a scumbag.

  9. mataug says: Sep 22, 2013 10:59 AM

    I have always wondered if this wasn’t a more common thing (not just in the NFL). Few thousand dollars to the collecting guy and both parties will be happy about it.

  10. wikidpissah says: Sep 22, 2013 11:02 AM

    If this is true, the sample collector should be prosecuted, and Miller should be banned for life.

    Funny how the word “cheating” only comes up in one situation…

  11. mickmars says: Sep 22, 2013 11:09 AM

    At least he’s in Denver, with lots of legal herb, to fill up his idle time during his suspension …….

  12. JSpicoli says: Sep 22, 2013 11:11 AM

    I’m shocked

  13. beastmode5150 says: Sep 22, 2013 11:14 AM


  14. 1rockyracoon says: Sep 22, 2013 11:18 AM

    The Broncos are turning into a real classy organization. Is this the “Bronco Way?”

  15. jackdaniels1 says: Sep 22, 2013 11:19 AM

    Hey Von, time to invest in a wizzenator

  16. nflcrimerankingscom says: Sep 22, 2013 11:20 AM

    time to cut him loose

  17. 2dollarpbrs says: Sep 22, 2013 11:24 AM

    What?? Someone cheating that is not a Patriot??? That doesn’t sound right

  18. qdog112 says: Sep 22, 2013 11:27 AM

    Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

  19. toybkshr says: Sep 22, 2013 11:32 AM

    But, “I didn’t do anything wrong” – Yeah right!

  20. runwright44 says: Sep 22, 2013 11:42 AM

    Wondering if other NFL players have done the same thing but no one has found out about it.

  21. shuttaman1990 says: Sep 22, 2013 11:48 AM

    I love it. Go Raiders!!!

  22. racerx1225 says: Sep 22, 2013 11:50 AM

    Remarkably without Dumbervil and Von Schmuck they have the #1 D in the league. Scratches head…. huh? I really thought theyd be bad this year.

  23. dd393 says: Sep 22, 2013 11:54 AM

    Colorado, huh? Did Von offer the collector a lifetime supply of Doritos?

  24. thepvyharvin says: Sep 22, 2013 12:01 PM

    Sorry Von, you’re not half as talented or cool as Lawrence Taylor. Enough with the bad boy act…

  25. sellout1983 says: Sep 22, 2013 12:20 PM

    He should be suspended for the year. Send a message and make an example of him.

  26. someoneanswerthatphone says: Sep 22, 2013 12:33 PM

    One year suspension. Gee that was easy.

  27. EJ says: Sep 22, 2013 12:33 PM

    If this is proven to be absolutely true, he should be done for the year. Goodell needs to make an example and he needs to do it now. When he does come back, the world will see how much the PED’s make a difference in his game. I’m willing to bet Von Miller will become very average.

  28. billsboy88 says: Sep 22, 2013 12:40 PM

    The next time you think your job sucks, just remember, it could be worse. You could be a professional urine collector.

  29. greglloydrules says: Sep 22, 2013 12:45 PM

    racerx1225 says:
    Sep 22, 2013 11:50 AM
    Remarkably without Dumbervil and Von Schmuck they have the #1 D in the league. Scratches head…. huh? I really thought theyd be bad this year.

    #1 defense? They’re tied with Baltimore for 20th on yards allowed and are giving up 25 ppg

  30. commonsensedude says: Sep 22, 2013 12:52 PM

    “It must be official and IT MUST BE URINE!!”

    – Dwight Schrute –

  31. nfl4days says: Sep 22, 2013 1:04 PM

    Glad I’m not the only one who thinks he should be gone for the year. There should be 0 tolerance for this type of stuff.

  32. MichaelWrites says: Sep 22, 2013 1:06 PM

    So if you’re Christmas shopping for a football player this year and have no idea what gift to buy him, save your money and your urine.

  33. bert1913 says: Sep 22, 2013 2:46 PM

    piss poor management

  34. salutethis says: Sep 23, 2013 1:18 AM

    I am really disappointed in Von, but there is a question I gotta know, was he trying to cheat the system to smoke weed? Or was it due to PED’s? They both are breaking the rules and he deserves the suspension, but to me it matters because if Von is just a moron that is trying to smoke weed and hadn’t gotten over college, I can live with that. I cannot stand it if the guy has had to use PED’s to play like he does. To me that is unforgivable. It means he does not deserve to be paid for what he does, I played high school ball with guys that used steroids to be stronger and faster and were starting over better players that were clean. If you use this stuff at any point you do not deserve to be a professional athlete. Period.

  35. denverbronconj says: Sep 23, 2013 3:51 PM

    Hey Von. Don’t bother being a role model for young kids, you LIAR. Pathetic, another self entitled athlete without any common sense

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