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Honey Badgers and javelinas and bats — oh my

Tyrann Mathieu AP

The Honey Badger, as we have learned, fears no creature.

Especially when it has the advantage of wielding a baseball bat.

Cardinals rookie Tyrann Mathieu has a plan for dealing with the javelinas — a wild pig with a bad attitude in case you’re not the Animal Planet type— that roam into his neighborhood at the foot of the mountains outside Phoenix.

“I only seen one this time, but there have been a few occasions when I’ve seen a whole gang of them,” Mathieu said of the boars, via Bob McManaman of the Arizona Republic. “I live right there on the mountain, and they come down at night.”

So how does one protect himself against a pack of wild javelina?

“Get a baseball bat,” Mathieu said. “Run ’em off. They won’t turn on me. I’ve got the baseball bat. I used to play baseball, man.”

Sadly, there’s no video of this episode of Wild Kingdom, or it could be bigger than Bear Playing Tetherball.

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11 Responses to “Honey Badgers and javelinas and bats — oh my”
  1. 4greatestvikingever says: Oct 17, 2013 11:35 AM

    When is bat season again? Is it after bow hunting and before shotgun season?

  2. mflorihole says: Oct 17, 2013 11:48 AM

    Hemingway, Joyce, Dostoevsky, Mathieu. Eloquence that brings me to tears.

  3. flapjackdaddy says: Oct 17, 2013 11:54 AM

    Get a .308 Tyrann.

  4. mack2x says: Oct 17, 2013 12:24 PM

    “They won’t turn on me, I’ve got the baseball bat.”

    Famous last words.

  5. coldlite says: Oct 17, 2013 1:51 PM

    Javalina are not pigs or boar. They are roughly the same size, but are from the rodent family. Have a really bad odor.

  6. doctorrustbelt says: Oct 17, 2013 3:47 PM

    The Adventures of Tyrannus Peccary.

  7. earpaniac says: Oct 17, 2013 5:31 PM

    He’s crazier than I thought if he thinks he can take on a bunch of those with just a bat.

  8. mackcarrington says: Oct 17, 2013 5:40 PM

    Animal rights people are flabbergasted.

  9. axespray says: Oct 17, 2013 5:46 PM

    His teammate has a friggin’ pet tiger.

    Cardinals players have no respect for nature… just like chimpanzee woman.

  10. cometkazie says: Oct 17, 2013 6:16 PM

    coldlite says:
    Oct 17, 2013 1:51 PM
    Javalina are not pigs or boar. They are roughly the same size, but are from the rodent family. Have a really bad odor.
    +-+-+

    They are most assuredly not a rodent but of the family Tayassuidae, or New World pigs.

  11. thesportgenius says: Oct 17, 2013 6:32 PM

    I think he must be hitting the bong again…dude just doesn’t sound too bright.

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