NFL announces dates for its American Idol auditions

The NFL has launched its own version of American Idol, allowing anyone (regardless of gender) at least three years removed from high school to try out for real, live scouts.

At the low, low price of $275.

So just in time for the looming launch of the holiday shopping season, the NFL has announced the full slate of 2014 Regional Combines.  They’ll happen on February 8-9 in Houston, February 15-16 in New York/New Jersey, February 22 in Los Angeles, March 1 in Tampa Bay, March 8-9 in Atlanta, March 15 in Chicago, March 22 in Miami, March 22-23 in Seattle, March 29 in Indianapolis, and March 29-30 in Baltimore.

The Super Regional Combine, which occurs by invitation only (i.e., the unskilled and/or delusional need not apply), happens on April 12-13 at Ford Field in Detroit.

For prospective kickers and punters, you should circle February 9, February 16, and March 23 as the days for showing up, paying the money, realizing that you’re out of your element, pretending to injure your leg on the first try, and going home.

Yes, it’s the American way to collect money that others gladly will provide, but it still seems a bit unseemly for the NFL to be in the business of applying the inscription on the Statue of Liberty to a nation of weekend warriors who can’t begin to comprehend that the NFL operates multiple levels higher than where their skills reside.

Instead, the league is embracing it, even harvesting a perfunctory observation from one of the most respected executives in the game.

“As a General Manager, I am always looking for opportunities to get information on as many college players as I can,” Ozzie Newsome said.  “The NFL Regional Combines are another resource I can use.”

There’s a ringing endorsement.  It’s something I can use.  Not that I will use, but that I can use.

Ozzie can say the same thing about Wikipedia, and Wikipedia would be roughly as valuable.

The biggest difference?  Wikipedia won’t generated $275 per person.

22 responses to “NFL announces dates for its American Idol auditions

  1. If only my knee weren’t shot. I’d be the second best QB in the league right now behind RGIII. I was a great QB in High school. That’s how I know the game so well. #Ifonlythiswerearoundsevenyearsago

  2. It can’t be “American Idol” unless they let the unskilled and delusional apply–and we get to watch them embarrass themselves. The evil side of me wouldn’t mind seeing some armchair QBs take the field 😉

  3. You’re ignoring the fact that, while yes there probably will be hoards of unqualified people trying out, there just may be one or two, or even a handful, that will surprise and warrant a second look.

  4. They need to make a TV show out of this and allow the unskilled and delusional people to try out. That could be a way bigger hit than American Idol was.

  5. Need we over-analyze the words chosen by Ozzie? You sound like my wife.

    Still, it’s a bit cheap of the NFL to charge the prospective players for show time with scouts, but it’s better than lotto tickets and at least these guys can get some feedback about where they stand, either from scouts or from performing next to other people.

    Can I get an Amen for an NFL farm league? I know Manchester, NH could go for one!

  6. NFL could wipe their butts on a rag and sell it. It’s amazing the amount of people who will pay money to the NFL. I know I’m one of them right now wearing my $40 NFL licensed hat and $100 jersey. The only thing is this might not be a bad idea. I’m sure there are people out there who didn’t or don’t have the grades for college but are smart and talented football wise. I know of many NFL players not smart enough to clap but know and understand football and have the talent to make them successful on the field. Guess we will have to just wait and see since the NFL doesn’t have a true farm club system like the other professional sports.

  7. I think this is a great idea…… if the GM’s and scouts take it seriously. They already know that they’ll see a lot of totally unqualified wannabe’s. Will they be willing to put up with the time wasters in hope of finding a gem in the rough?

  8. The $275 ensures that most of the complete fat and out of shape delusional fools like logicalvoices don’t apply and waste everyone’s time at the combines. If you’re serious about the combine, you’ll shell out the bucks.

    Then again, the NFL could make a killing in ratings by allowing everyone in free and watching all the logicalvoices types running the 40 in a blazing 6.8 seconds.

  9. HA HA HA logical voice. Sometimes I read the redskins post on PFT just to see what kind of BullS@#$% you gonna post about next. Are you some kind of comedian troll or are you really for real ? 2nd best quarterback in the league behind RG3 my ARSE!

  10. This will be loaded with 5’9″ 170 lb high school Wing T stars. You know the kind that shine in the PAC 12, but wouldn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of surviving in the pros.

  11. Sounds like a cattle call for West Virginia mini-players. Pat White, Steve Slaton, Noel Devine etc. Tavon Austin will be there when the Rams realize the huge mistake they made drafting him. GO BURN A COUCH! Idiots.

  12. I may do this in Miami.

    Hopefully someone sees my superior Xs & Os skills and gives me a job with a team.

    GO BIG BLUE!!!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!