Jared Lorenzen, fatter than ever, still a quarterback

I had just been thinking about Jared Lorenzen last week at the Super Bowl media events because Lorenzen was the first player I interviewed at the first Super Bowl I covered, Super Bowl XLII, when Lorenzen was a backup to Eli Manning on the Giants. Then I got home from the Super Bowl late Monday night and discovered that the Internet was blowing up with pictures of Lorenzen, who himself has blown up.

Lorenzen has always been a portly fellow, and he was always good-natured about his weight. But now that Lorenzen has gone from playing in the NFL to playing for the North Kentucky River Monsters of the Continental Indoor Football League, he’s really let himself go. He’s listed at 6-foot-4 and 320 pounds, but he looks heavier than that.

The River Monsters opened their season on Monday night with a victory, and Lorenzen led the way: He completed 23 of 37 passes for 183 yards and three touchdowns, and he also ran for a one-yard touchdown. (Yes, of course his rushing touchdown was for one yard. Does this look like a man who could run more than one yard?)

Actually, Lorenzen can move a little, as this highlight shows. Even with the body of a defensive tackle, Lorenzen remains elusive enough to make plays. At least in the Continental Indoor Football League.